There's no denying that I love Disney, and while this lovely company full of innovators was formative influence in my life, that's not to say that they didn't also set me up for some massive disappointments from life. While I did spend some time lamenting the severe lack of fairy godmothers, anthropomorphic animal sidekicks, and princes to sweep me off my feet, my biggest Disney letdown came from the unrealistic hair expectations.
I mean, hello? Hair like this just does not exist.
Yeah, Disney, I've got a pretty unruly mop of hair and I can tell you that that's not how any of this works. Where are all the princesses that struggle to find their natural part?
Luckily, our hair envy can be (somewhat) put to rest thanks to Loryn Brant from Buzzfeed! She's edited some images of Disney Princesses and made them look much more relatable and attainable.
Ariel, The Little Mermaid
This is just not the case. Do mermaids have some kind of power that makes their hair waterproof? Perhaps. But if she had realistic hair problems like the rest of us, then we know that this just isn't the case.
That has never happened to anyone in the history of time. Ariel's hair would be a soppy, wet mess. Finally, the truth comes out!
Belle, Beauty and the Beast
Belle's hair is tied up in a pretty decent little ponytail, but if you've ever tied your hair in a bow you know that it's not going to hold in the wind.
Unless she's wearing a ton of hairspray, which I'm guessing she's not in mid-1700s France, then the original Disney image is a freakin' farce.
Given Anna and Elsa's parent's hair color, I have a hard time imagining that her hair is naturally that blonde. Maybe when she was a little kid she was a total towhead, but the 21-year-old Elsa? Please.
Just try and tell me this queen doesn't use a bit of bleach. Maintaining hair that blonde is difficult and a very fine art. I'm not sure any of the residents of Arendelle and equipped to handle this type of situation. Give Elsa the roots, we know she has 'em.
**To clarify, I am aware that Elsa's icy powers give her hair like this. These are supposed to be funny and show the Princesses with realistic hair problems. Do some women have hair naturally this blonde? Of course! Is it considered commonplace? Not really. Commenting that her hair is possible, isn't pointing out something novel or proving that you have more Disney knowledge than anyone else. Given that she's a cartoon character she can have whatever hair her animators want her to, but there's really no fun in that! These are supposed to be jokes.
Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Snow rocks a short bob so, all in all, not the most difficult hairstyle to maintain. But that doesn't mean that it sits perfectly atop her head at all times.
Let's be honest, this is a slightly more realistic look for Snow. Frizzy flyaways are a very real problem that not even Disney Princesses can escape.
Cinders, I see you in that nightgown and as we all know, this is not what bed head looks like! Unless your little birdie and mouse friends were keeping your hair perfectly intact whist you slept, this doesn't happen.
Yes! Now this is bed head. Personally, I like it even more than the original. Considering how much time she spends cleaning for her step-family, it's impressive that she would have any time at all to do her hair.
There is a tiny dragon named Mushu in this picture and it's still not the least-believable thing about it. It's the hair. Hair simply does not rest like this for most people, including some Asian women. So for those Asian women who don't always have the slickest hair, this one's for you!
Alright, maybe Mulan doesn't need to look like someone rubbed a balloon on her head, but maybe Mushu has some kind of electric charge to him? I'm not totally positive on how dragons work.
Now let's talk volume. I have pretty thick hair and I have friends with super thick hair, but even their hair would not stay this full and bouncy. Fans of Mean Girls might say that it's because her hair is so full of secrets, but I call BS on that.
Now that's a ponytail I can get onboard with. Bonus points to go Loryn for also fixing Aladdin's hair. Look at that hat he's wearing! There's no way his bangs could maintain that level of bounciness. Debunked.
Like Ariel's hair, I can say with absolute certainty that this is not how this would go down. Pocahontas is painting with the colors of a legit wind tunnel in this image. Plus, there's no way that those leaves would conveniently slip by her hair without getting stuck.
Yes! This is everything. Her hair is so in the way! And I know that this wouldn't be the case, but if Pocahontas was wearing any lipgoss...well, game over, man.
Of course, this isn't always the case. Hair has been getting more realistic, especially in some of the newer movies.
Unmanageable locks and bed head galore! All is forgiven, Disney. Heck, you know I can never stay mad at you.
Which Disney Princess gives you the most hair envy?