The horror genre (and its fans) love a good cliché: Alcohol and drug-fueled parties in isolated locations (cabins are a plus), a female survivor or the fact that sex = death. We have all come to accept these tropes as an integral part of the genre, but there are a few horror clichés that I just can’t get along with, no matter how many times they crop up.
1. Crap Cops
Why in every horror, especially the slasher kind, is the police force so utterly incapable? Normally taken out by the bad-guy as soon as they come to inspect the scene (see: The Collector), they do more harm than good. Where will you find a horror cop? Normally examining the cabin/house/car park, alone of course, armed with a torchlight and alarmingly bad training.
2. Not killing the killer
I’m not talking about Michael Myers here, or other supernatural antagonists that can’t be stopped… I’m talking about when your opponent is clearly flesh and blood and hell-bent on taking your life in a horrific way, and you get your chance to take him down but you give him one lousy hit over the head?! Or you shoot him anywhere that isn’t IN HIS FACE?! There is no excusing that stupidity and you clearly deserve to die. I know that it is to help the plot keep going, otherwise the movie would just end there…But it’s not believable, ok? Scream Queens, the ultimate culprit of this, can hang their heads in shame here.
3. Falling over NOTHING
OK so the same guys that do not kill the killer when they have the chance are also the same morons that manage to fall over flat ground. I mean, I haven’t fallen over since I was 8 years old. I don’t know, maybe the force of gravity is a little stronger in horror-movie land- but why do they take so long to get up?! Or even worse, not bothering to get up and deciding to crawl away. Then again- we all know that horror villains do not run, so this makes it a level playing field again. (P.S these are the same geniuses that suggest everyone ‘splits up’ into smaller, more vulnerable groups.)
4. Trying to bargain with the killer
I’m sure that if I were strapped to a chair being tortured in the same situation I’d probably be begging for my life too- but it’s stupid and pointless. Just because you say “Why are you doing this!?” or even worse “You don’t need to do this!” it doesn't mean you will send Leatherface into an existential crisis, contemplating his purpose and path in life. Not going to happen. Also when they lock you in a room, banging on the door screaming “let me out!!!” isn't getting you anywhere fast either, so save your energy.
5. Possibly the most annoying… NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ANYONE
Why don’t people in horror movies believe anything? That oddly still body in the chair? Nah, probably not dead... Quit fooling around, Brad. I should probably go poke him, very slowly….Oh no wait, he is dead.
The weird old man told you the cabin was haunted, but what does he know?
News report about a serial killer on the loose? In Stab-Neck Creek? Never!
Your child is seeing a little dead girl roaming around the house at night? I blame it on those damn cartoons he’s been watching. I mean it’s been at least 20 years since that Father wiped out his whole family here.
We have grown to love the horror genre and its predictability, but I am sure none of us will be sorry to see the back of these annoyances. Let me know what has you shaking your head and rolling your eyes during a horror movie.
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