ByJordan Conner, writer at

This show makes me want to curl up into a ball and stress eat for days. You're not helping my diet, guys. So, what I thought would happen did in fact happen. In hindsight, the show runners weren't really trying to hide the fact that Finn was going to die. I guess I just lowered my expectations in case they pulled a fast one on me. Finn dying was necessary. Finn dying by Clarke's hand was a bonus. Not in a good way. Finn wasn't a bad person. He just did a very bad thing. His death was great for the story and great for Clarke's storyline moving forward. So. Much. Angst.

The flashbacks in "Spacewalker" were sweet. I figured that Raven would be the spacewalker and that Finn would cover for her so she wouldn't get floated. It's sweet in a way but Finn probably shouldn't rely on such grand romantic gestures for his loves. He kind of ends up in mortal peril because of them. Anyway, I'm sure the writers wanted me to feel like Finn was a hero but he was still to blame for the three month loss of oxygen on the Ark. Now we know Raven was also to blame. Bygones are bygones though.

In present day, the Arkers are debating and waiting. They have to give Finn up to the Grounders or they go to war. Seems like an easy option to me. I'm annoyed with all of the blame game going on with some of the characters. Finn is his own person. He pulled the trigger. Murphy is a hot mess of a person but he couldn't make Finn stop if Finn didn't want to stop. Clarke couldn't be at the village to stop Finn just because he thought she was at the village. I'm still waiting for the poor handling of this Finn storyline to turn into something great.

While waiting, Kane decides to show up and sing Lexa's praises. Join the club, Kane! Really though, he spent some time with the Grounder leader and I'm pretty sure he is her number one fangirl. Kane thought that killing Finn themselves would be more humane for him. That's 100% true but still iffy. The Grounders seemed like they really wanted to take care of this one. Wouldn't they feel disrespected if the Arkers decided to kill Finn themselves? Would that work with the Grounder's "blood for blood" mantra or would they still decide to attack? All of this is so intense!

Lincoln decided to be the best after experiencing Reaper drugs. Seriously though, I sometimes forget that the Grounders are his people. Whatever loyalty he feels to Octavia and some of the other 100, his family and friends were the ones attacked. It's complicated for Lincoln because Finn was a friend to him. But Finn also killed some of Lin coln'sfriends in his village. Can we get more Lincoln? He's the real key to a truce/merging of Grounders and Arkers. And if he is advising you to give up Finn, you should probably give up Finn.

Bellamy, Clarke and Raven decide to sneak Finn away from the impending war. They decide to go to the drop ship of all places. I'm pretty sure the grounders know all about the drop ship, guys. Cute try though. Clarke gets hurt and it's adorable to watch them fret. Even Murphy! Finn is all out of sorts at this point.

Okay, here's the long picture-less Finn tangent.

Finn's storyline has been a difficult one for me to process this season. I do not like Finn. I never have. I was annoyed with him for being a reckless idiot during his very first scene on the show and I guess I never recovered. Even so, I was a little bummed when he actually died. I think my feelings are more of a reaction to how this will effect Clarke, Raven and even Bellamy. They all cared about Finn and I care about them so their pain is ultimately what makes me sad.

Up until this point I have been very upset with the seemingly out of character reactions to what Finn did. Why did Raven, Clarke and Bellamy just shrug it off? Why would they defend Finn so much over this? He killed so many innocent people! But I think I get it now. Finn is their people and their people are everything to them at this point. Maybe they didn't react out of character. To the viewer, what Finn did was inexcusable. He needed to be held responsible. The fact that I never liked his character led me to automatically believe that he should probably just die. When Lexa asked for his head, I just nodded in approval. Of course the Arkers should give him over! Why risk EVERYONE else's life for one person? My bias against Finn really won this time, y'all. Violence only begets more violence. The Grounders demand in the first place was so flawed and I really should have been more appalled. Life on this Earth is quickly regressing to what it was before the nuclear war. To what it was when it caused the nuclear war. That is scary.

Anyway, I understand why Raven would do everything to protect Finn. He's the only family she has ever really had. I understand Clarke's motive too. She cares for Finn. I will never be convinced that she loved him but she cared. It is also in Clarke's nature to protect. She is a healer and a leader and she clearly takes care of her own. Same with Bellamy. Bellamy's loyalty to Finn baffled me at first. It probably shouldn't have. Bellamy isn't anything like the selfish jackass he was when they first landed on Earth. Even then, Bellamy was primarily motivated by his love for his sister. He was the only one out of the 100 who ever had someone younger than them to care for. Over time Bellamy grew from a selfish prick to a man that legitimately cared for more kids than he ever really expected to. Finn was one of those people. So, of course Bellamy would turn into a papa bear to defend him. I guess we can be blinded by our love for people and refuse to really comprehend all of the terrible things they are capable of.

Despite the others doing everything they could to protect him, Finn ultimately turned himself in. I think it was really his decision all along. He was responsible for the massacre. He alone was responsible for his own actions. Murphy didn't make him pull the trigger. Clarke didn't ask to be saved. Finn did what he did for whatever reason and he had to figure out how to best deal with it.

Clarke tries to negotiate with Lexa one last time. First, however, she has to get past Indra. SHE KEEPS WALKING INTO INDRA'S SPEAR. WHAT EVEN, CLARKE. Sometimes I question Clarke's actions, but good gracious, that was such a cool move. I don't think Clarke really believed she had a chance to save Finn at this point. Her entire motive turned into making sure he didn't have to suffer the death the Grounders had prepared for him. It was the twist that I wasn't expecting to see this episode. It was heartbreaking and a bit terrifying. Clarke has mercy killed twice now and I feel so bad for her. I also feel a little bit worried for her mental health. I'm actually worried for all of their mental health. They need to take a holiday.

Finn turning himself over to the Grounders was the best move he could make. I respect his decision and I admire his readiness to atone for what he did. All of these characters live in an environment of war. They have to make tough decisions to survive and to protect the people they love. Sometimes it's the wrong decision and if they are going to make the wrong decision I believe they need to own up to it.

Back in season one, Bellamy selfishly destroyed a communicator which inadvertently led to the death of 300 Arkers. He realized his mistake and regretted the person he had become. Maybe he didn't die for what he did but the circumstances are different in every case of who killed who on this show. The fact that he learned from his mistake is important. That's the type of character growth I personally want to see. The lack of remorse from Finn over the past two episodes, after directly killing innocent people, bothered me. I'm less bothered now that he owned up to it and paid the price demanded of him. Hopefully the Grounders and the Arkers can work out some sort of peace agreement. They both have bigger issues with the Mountain Men anyway.

This episode was emotionally taxing and I am kind of glad that there's a little bit of a break before the next half of the season begins. If anything, it will give me time to rethink everything I've already thought about this show. Maybe I'll decide to like Finn. Probably not, but it's Christmas so who knows!

RIP Finn Collins.

Jaha, out.


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