ByJess Goodwin, writer at
social media coordinator at Nickelodeon's '90s Nostalgia brand NickSplat :: on Twitter @thejessgoodwin
Jess Goodwin

Seventh Son is an entertaining enough fantasy film (and when I say "entertaining enough" I mean worth the price of a regular ticket, not IMAX and/or 3D), but it doesn't have a whole lot going for it, apart from the cast. In addition to reuniting Big Lebowski co-stars Julianne Moore and Jeff Bridges, the film stars fantasy vet Ben Barnes, Olivia Williams, Alicia Vikander, and Kit Harington.

After Master Gregory (Bridges) loses his apprentice Bradley (Harington) to the darkness of Mother Malkin (Moore), he seeks out Thomas (Barnes), a seventh son of a seventh son. Together they must defeat Malkin before the blood moon is full, at which point her powers will completely return and she'll basically destroy the world.

All in all, there's not much originality to the movie — so little, in fact, that while watching it I realized I'd seen a lot of it somewhere before. Here are 5 commonly used tropes you'll see in Seventh Son.

1. A Chosen One

Fantasy (and sci-fi) movies love to use the whole "there can be only one" thing. Obviously there's Highlander, and then there are the Harry Potter series, the Matrix trilogy, and the Star Wars franchise, but the list goes on. Seventh Son is no different — Thomas (Barnes) isn't just the seventh son of a seventh son but also the son of a witch, so naturally he's the only one who can truly wield the magic staff against evil

2. Corny Dialogue

Speaking of fate and destiny, here are a few snippets of the crazy cheesy dialogue from Seventh Son:

"You'd choose this life?"
"It chose me."

"You can't hide from destiny."

"Be wise. Be careful. Everything you ever need is inside you, my son."

3. The Reluctant Apprentice Who Likes To Disobey Orders

If Master Gregory (Bridges) thinks his apprentice is going to do everything he's told, he's sorely mistaken! You tell Thomas to stay in his room, and you know he's going to leave that room. You can't hold back the chosen one, but, hey, that's what makes Thomas special.

4. A Training Montage

This is something obviously not limited to the fantasy genre — Rocky, anyone? Unless it's being parodied a la the Cornetto trilogy, though, this is one cliché I'd love to never see again.

5. A Relationship Moving WAY Too Fast

In this case it might just be because Seventh Son takes place during the Dark Ages, when people just didn't live long enough to engage in long courtships. Thomas and Alicia (Vikander) meet one day, rendezvous under the moonlight the next, and then fall in love and seal the deal the evening after that. Granted, the first time they touch there's a magical blue spark that means they're meant to be together forever, but come on. Do people really fall for each other that fast?

6. A Sordid Backstory Between the Master and Villain

Master Gregory has a personal score to settle with Mother Malkin (Moore), and it goes beyond him wanting to vanquish darkness — the pair used to be in love, before she became evil and started massacring people. She still has a thing for him, though he's like, totally over her (understandably, since one of the people she murdered was his wife).

The whole situation reminded me of last year's Maleficent, in which Angelina Jolie's good fairy turned dark after being betrayed by a mortal she thought loved her.

7. People Making It Through the Movie With Barely a Scratch on Them

Maybe human bodies are more resilient than I realize, but I don't understand how no one in this movie ends up breaking so much as a finger. How does one get thrown against a stone wall without at least needing a quick vertebrae realignment? Even Harry Potter broke a few bones in his day.


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