ByNicholas Gonzalez, writer at
Just your average, overly-analytical movie and video game consumer
Nicholas Gonzalez

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years, you've heard of, and you're more than likely to have ordered something from the magical money gods. Over 270 million people have an Amazon account, and the online shopping juggernaught has an estimated value of $74billion. They sell just about everything from clothing to books to gadgets and really anything else that your little heart desires. But when I say that they sell everything, I mean that they sell EVERYTHING!

Check out these 8 crazy and absurd items that you wouldn't believe sells. Not only will I be listing these items by their absurdity, but I will also be listing them by the absurdity of their reviews because some of them are pretty outrageous.

8) Inflatable Toast

Price: $9.89

Rating: 4/5 stars

Product Description: Toast is great, but it's hard to keep in your pocket. So what do you do when you crave the warm comfort of toast but don't want to deal with the crumbs? You pull out your Inflatable Toast, blow it up and admire its realistic toasty goodness! Each soft vinyl slice of toast is 6" (15.2 cm) tall and has a standard inflation valve.

My Favorite Reviews:

7) Uranium Ore

Price: $39.95

Rating: 4/5 stars

Product Description: Radioactive sample of uranium ore. The ore sample material is Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials (NORM). Counts Per Minute (CPM) activity rate listed on the label is determined using a GCA-07W Digital Geiger Counter with an NRC certification. Activity level includes all radiation types: alpha, beta and gamma. Uranium Ore samples are useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample size and CPM activity will vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. The item is shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only. Images SI Inc., manufacturing electronic instruments and kits for over 25 years.

My Favorite Reviews:

6) Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals

Price: Between $0.98 and $9.98

Rating: 5/5 stars

Product Description: Avoid the messy confrontations that accompany delivering bad news personally and let one of these cute baby animal postcards deliver the devastating message for you.

Are you afraid to tell your girlfriend that her ass looks fat? Do you need to explain to your nephew that dreams don't come true? Why not let a cute, fuzzy bunny do it for you! We understand how hard it is to tell someone that you're sleeping with his wife, so let a photograph of a duckling sleeping on a teddy bear soften the blow. These perforated postcards answer all of your cowardly prayers—you'll finally be able to tell the truth without ever conquering your fear of confrontation. Let these adorable baby animals supply a silver lining to any bad situation and avoid, a long, tearful afternoon explaining why daddy's never coming home.

My Favorite Reviews:

5) Wolf Urin Lure-32 oz

Price: $34.95 (with free shipping!)

Rating: 3 and a half/5 stars

Product Description: Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts. Due to changes in shipping regulations, we cannot ship this item to California

My Favorite Reviews:

4) Design Sense Generic Weener Kleener Soap

Price: $6.72

Rating: 4 and a half/5 stars

Product Description: This Weener Kleener Soap cleans the body but dirties the mind! You'll be showering twice a day with your new bath time toy. This stimulating soap ring makes a hilarious gag gift for a boyfriend, or a buddy who just got dumped or what the heck, treat yourself to some good, clean fun!

The Generic Weener Kleener Soap is shaped like a donut for easy use. It solves that age old bathing dilemma and adds a “hole” new dimension of pleasure and fun to a shower or bath. This stimulating soap ring makes a hilarious gag gift for a boyfriend, or a buddy who just got dumped or what the heck, treat yourself to some good, clean fun. The soap is yellow and weights 2.5 oz.

My Favorite Reviews:

3) Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon

Price: $1,393 dollars

Rating: 4/5 stars

Product Description: What are you going to do with all this lube?! Wrestling match? Biggest adult party ever? If you are looking for a simply jaw-dropping amount of lube, Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is ready to get the fun started with this 55 gallon drum! With its superb formula you will have a natural feel that keeps you moist longer and also works great with all toy materials. Easily washes away with warm water and mild soap. You may never run out of lube again! Size: 55 gallons. Note: Includes pump. Ships via freight due to weight limit.

My Favorite Reviews:

2) Dancing with Jesus: Featuring a Host of Miraculous Moves" title="">

Price: $11.66

Rating: 4 and a half/5

Product Description: Singing hymns of praise is standard practice—now it’s time to set your feet a-tapping with a collection of original dance moves inspired by Jesus and the likes of Moses and John the Baptist. Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga. Each dance move is outlined with: how to, inspiration, and an illustration. Slyly irreverent but ultimately festive, Dancing with Jesus is illustrated in full color. Best of all, two of the dances are animated for full effect by a lenticular cover and last-spread finale, making this a truly one-of-a-kind novelty item!

My Favorite Reviews:

1) Guardian Angel

Price: Currently Unavailable

Rating: 4/5 stars

Product Description: Made with layers of Mineral Stone Powder, Ion Alloy and plated with gold to ensure the tips will not puncture the skin. It has a spring loaded tip for added specific point therapies. The Guardian Angel is the original Korean Hand Therapy acupressure device. Plated with 24K gold to prevent puncturing the skin enabling the Guardian Angel to be have the most precise points to activate all 344 points on the hand just by gently squeezing it or rolling it on your hand. Eliminates chronic pain, prevents and treats arthritis, headaches, colds, stroke, diabetes, heart disease etc.

My Favorite Reviews:

Feel free to discuss... whatever these are in the coments


So which of these do you think was the craziest?


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