ByHoney L. Jones, writer at
Movies + Gaming + Food = My Comfort Zone
Honey L. Jones

Fifty Shades of Grey starts off innocent, gives you a tiny bit of foreplay then falls limp for the rest of the film.

If you’ve read the first novel, you have imagined a sexy mysterious Christian Grey dominating a naive Anastasia Steele. The sex in your mind was powerfully intense, made you sweat and possibly caused you to imagine yourself in bondage being dominated by Mr. Grey. It stimulated your imagination more than you may have thought it would. If that was the case, you may want to hold on to what you imagined because this film will disappoint you.

The E. L. James hit trilogy began as Twilight fan fiction and the crossover is present with a man who is hungry for a woman with a bland personality. The pair meet, have a short a conversation and part ways instantly attracted to each other. They literally act like they had a relationship and broke up after only two face-to-face meetings that lasted a total of 15 minutes.

Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey

The film largely consists of Christian (Jamie Dornan) trying to convince Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) to participate in his BDSM fetish and desperately pressuring her to sign a contract. This is combined with Anastasia wanting a normal romantic relationship while Christian is one-dimensional and only wants straightforward [bleeping].

There are a few sexual innuendos at the beginning of the film to get you excited about what’s to come, but once it does come, it ends as soon as it begins. The rating for [Fifty Shades of Grey](movie:391697) prevents it from getting into the grit of BDSM, but the soft core scenes were carefully edited to cross the rated R line, but with only a toe.

Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey

The scene where Christian punishes Anastasia with a belt, and communicates his pleasure of it with subtlety, is by far the most extreme of the film and may leave you cringing.

Christian’s stalker behavior can be off-putting as he seems to think he owns Anastasia and she can’t make a move without him knowing and approving. Although meek throughout the majority of the film, Anastasia puts her foot down during their “business meeting” to discuss the terms of the contract. This scene, although basic, was more entertaining and sultry than the rest of the film.

The dialogue is unintentionally laughable. The kink is light and not helped by the lip-biting.

If you were hoping this would kick off a sultry Valentine’s Day weekend, you will be disappointed.

It will undoubtedly be a huge hit and make millions for Universal Pictures because there are a lot of women, who deep down, want to be dirty, dirty girls.

If you’re a diehard fan, you’ll probably see 50 Shades of Grey, but you may want to reread the novel for more satisfaction. If you’ve never read the novel and simply curious, read the novel instead because your imagination will be better or skip it altogether.

Fifty Shades of Grey is in theaters today!


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