Disney's New Toys
A couple years ago Disney decided it was tired of playing with these Mickey Mouse toys and wanted some more grown up stuff to play with. So it went over to LucasfIlm and got into an epic binge shopping spree. Since then Disney hasn't been able to stop playing with its new Star Wars toys, leaving the other Lucasfilm toys to sit in the corner wondering when Disney will put that X-Wing down.
It could be that Disney doesn't want to take the other Lucasfilm toys out of their box, wanting to keep the price value at its highest and all. But recently Disney has been caught looking over at that mint condition Indiana Jones - maybe something about that Han Solo toy is reminding Disney that Indy had some pretty cool adventures as well. Is that Sallah and a melty face Belloq over there behind him? Maybe we could have some fun!
The Perfect Indy Film
Or maybe it was the sight of Chris Pratt dancing in that leather jacket when Disney was watching [Guardians of the Galaxy](movie:424073)? Or that image of Chris Pratt standing next to that motorcycle? Whatever it may be, Disney is dipping its tiny toe into the Indiana Jones waters and hoping there aren't any snakes left over from The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
One of many reasons to look forward to [Jurassic World](movie:32752) is to see how Chris Pratt will play this expert dinosaur behavioralist character. Pratt is looking to break out of the goofy dumb guy character that he has perfected in Parks and Recreation, The Lego Movie and, to a less dumb but still goofy extent, Guardians of the Galaxy. While Indiana Jones has his fair share of comedic moments, he is a university professor when he's not dodging boulders.
Chris [Cowboy Ninja Viking](movie:2641065) Pratt
It remains to be seen whether Chris Pratt can successfully and believably step into the role of an archeologist or palaeontologist expert but he has definitely proven himself capable of being a leading action star. The outrunning boulders part of the job he has in spades. Which is why I'm a bit more excited about the other movie he has lined up, Cowboy Ninja Viking.
Not only does this crazy comic book premise allow Chris Pratt to slice, dice and sling guns, it also taps directly into his superior goofy abilities as well. It's the story of a secret government organization that finds itself needing to track down a group of rouge agents that escaped the facility. The catch is that this agency uses multiple personality disorder patients and turns them into lethal assassins by implanting three different attributes - such as a Cowboy, a Ninja, and a Viking.
Greatest Comic Book Movie Ever?
Chris Pratt has signed on to play Duncan, the katana wielding gunslinger with a penchant for horned hats and talking to himself. With the directors of John Wick behind the camera it's shaping up to be the action film of the year - most likely 2016. There aren't too many premises out there that lend themselves to the kind of perfect mix of violent cinematic action and comedy the way that Cowboy Ninja Viking does.
Maybe I just really want to see the other lunatics that make up the rouge assassins Chris Pratt's character is assigned to bring down. I mean, who doesn't want to see Cowboy Ninja Viking take down Mohawk Indian/Playboy/Spartan? Or Sniper/Chef/Martial Artist? Or my personal favorite, Hitman/Navy Seal/Roadie for Dokken. These are the kinds of things that movies were made for! This is like seeing a Tree/Racoon/Dave Bautista in action! Or maybe I just want to see Chris Pratt with some awesome mutton chop sideburns.
Set Your Excitement Levels
Now, this isn't to say I don't think Chris Pratt could make a great Indiana Jones. Lord knows Pratt makes a lifelong Indy fan like me more excited about the idea of a non-Harrison Ford Indiana Jones movie being made than the threat of Shia Labeouf did. But the idea and heretofore unseen-on-the-big-screen possibilities of Cowboy Ninja Viking make me more excited than the nervous kind of excitement I get thinking about a rebooted Indiana Jones.
Even if Chris Pratt did sign on to play Indiana Jones, think of all the things that could still go wrong. There are so many pitfalls this movie would have to avoid. Waitaminute... Pitfall! Maybe that's the movie to make! Let Disney keep Indiana Jones in his box along with the dusty Willow toys and let's get Chris Pratt signed on to the movie version of the Pitfall video game! Who has the rights to this?
Is it just me? What raises your Chris Pratt Excitement Levels to the higher number?