1. GEORGE CLOONEY
"I guess this means you finally forgive me for Batman and Robin."
2. QUENTIN TARANTINO
"I'd like to share this award with all the legendary directors I've ripped-off over the years."
3. MERYL STREEP
"Another award? Fabulous! I need one for my bathroom."
4. CUBA GOODING JR.
"If you thought Jerry Maguire was great, wait'll you see Boat Trip!"
5. JEAN DUJARDIN
"None of you even know who the hell I am, but I STILL have more Oscars than Leonardo DiCaprio!"
6. BEN AFFLECK
"Suck it, haters...and I'm the next fucking Batman, too!"
7. MEL GIBSON
"Look what those crazy Jews gave me!"
8. HALLE BERRY
"Thank God I nabbed this thing before y'all saw Catwoman!"
9. JAMES CAMERON
"There's something 'titanic' in my pants, too!"
10. JEFF BRIDGES
"Thanks, man...but all I really wanna do is play The Dude again."