ByDawn Lodrigue, writer at
Dawn Lodrigue

Where are you prince of mine? Are you lost in some storm out there, or fighting for some great cause? Do you even exist at all?

No, the answer is no, you don’t. The sad part is I grew up with Disney, which taught me to wait for you. It also taught my male counterparts my waist should be about the size of my neck, so I failed their Disney wishlist as well. This is who we are, the idiots who wait for the fairy tale to come to life, all while complaining about reality. We have made ourselves reject reality, the bad and the good. We wait for the dream as we have denied ourselves the joy of being the dreamers, the dream got laid out before us, it just sounded too good not to accept. I am mad at this prince guy, and its time to be honest about why these princes and princesses have not come to life before our eyes.

One: They have no GPS system: they rely too much on those horses. Keep in mind, prince charming is old fashioned, just the way we like him, so why would he have a modern navigation device? This is why he hasn't found me, how sweet.

Two: he only comes when fate says: that grand force dictates him to do so. That’s right, I believe in fairy tales therefore I believe in fate, this is totally logical.

Three: He has bad eyesight: He is this perfect looking man with all of these perfect qualities, and he wants little average me, so yes he is partially blind. No Adonis wants Plain Jane, lets be reasonable. This is also why he is taking so long, the eyesight thing messes with his directions, you know.

Four: he is fighting wars: he is a hero after all. Have you seen how many wars we have out there now? So yes, Prince Charming is in the Middle East somewhere.

Five: He is out of magic: Every Disney movie has magic, but since we don’t have any here in the real world, he doesn't have his greatest weapon. Of course.

And Just so you men don't think I haven’t forgotten you, here is your list as to why you haven’t found your princess.

One: She is still wishing for you: Princesses in Disney have this amazing ability to wish and make things happen, so yes, she is just out there wishing, for you, yes.

Two: Her back is hurting: Have you seen her figure,? Her waist is the same size as her neck, she must have some back issues. So she is is pain. Duh…

Three:Her eyes are too sensitive to drive to you: Her very large freak sized eyes must make her light sensitive. Going outside gives her headaches.

Four:She is too busy singing: Come on, you know exactly what I am talking about….

So there, I have attempted to make all of us waiting feel a little better about why they have not arrived. What do you guys think? any other ideas? LOL


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