Rank every single motion picture featuring a Marvel Comics character, and write something about each one to back up the placement? You'd have to be an idiot to even attempt such a thing!
Well, meet that idiot, ladies and gentlemen.
Marvel Comics movies from 20th Century Fox, Sony, and the company's own in-house studio are the driving force in mainstream box-office entertainment these days, and with the release of Marvel Studios latest blockbuster hit, Guardians Of The Galaxy, there have now been 40 films featuring Marvel Comics characters released in cinemas, or direct-to-video between 1986 and the present day. That's a nice even number to base an exhaustive, definitive, and admittedly pretty insane list on. It took time, a boatload of research, and a lot of hemming and hawing, (and probably some deep-seeded masochistic tendencies) but I was finally able to lock down the order. So, my beloved Marvel zombies, it is my distinct pleasure to present to you - the ultimate, definitive (in my opinion, anyway) rankings of ALL MARVEL COMICS MOVIES:
(Ed. Note -Before we dive headlong into this massive undertaking, I think it's important to explain what isn't going to appear on this countdown. My criteria for the rankings was simple - only feature-length movies featuring Marvel comic book characters released into theaters or direct-to-video were eligible. This eliminated the Roger Corman 1994 Fantastic Four movie from consideration because it was never actually given an official release, as well as all of the made-for-TV flicks like Hasselhoff's Nick Fury: Agent Of SHIELD, Doctor Strange, Generation X, Spider-Man, Captain America, and all of the Bill Bixby Incredible Hulk stuff.
I also excluded the Captain America movie serials from the 1940s because I've never gotten the opportunity to see them, and they were never intended to be screened as a single, feature-length presentation, anyway. Also, some of you hardcore sticklers out there may call me out on the inclusion of the Kick-Ass movies on this countdown, and technically speaking, you'd be right to do so as Kick-Ass is a creator-owned IP that's only published by Marvel. Still, that logo is on the issues, so I added them to make this list a solid 40 films.)
And away we go!
40.) Elektra (2005)
Scraping the absolute bottom of the Marvel movie barrel is this colossal misfire from 20th Century Fox, who somehow thought a spin-off of the dreadful---and critically loathed---Daredevil adaptation (we'll get to that soon) was a smart business decision. Elektra was completely ignored by average moviegoers and hardcore comic book fans alike upon its release in January 2005, grossing a paltry $12 million over the weekend, finishing with a $24 million domestic take on a $43 million production budget. The movie returned the most white bread, WASP-y actress in Hollywood at the time, Jennifer Garner to the role of the exotic, deadly Greek assassin, who was somehow resurrected after her impalement in Daredevil and became embroiled in a kidnapping plot involving ninjas and terrible super-powered villains that's quite honestly too tedious and stupid to bother re-capping.
39.) Howard The Duck (1986)
Howard the Duck was a subversive, satirical Marvel comic created by Steve Gerber in the '70s. It was one of the first comics to contain meta-textual content, political commentary, and was oftentimes a send-up of the office politics going on at Marvel itself. The movie adaptation, however, is a schlocky Hollywood blockbuster about a wacky anthropomorphic duck who gets sucked through a vortex on his home planet and crash-lands on Earth, where he gets mixed up with a nerdy Tim Robbins, a big-haired Lea Thompson, and mad scientist Jeffrey Jones. Howard The Duck manages to be simultaneously creepy, unfunny, and pretty gross (It's strongly implied that Lea Thompson's character and Howard are doing it). When people talk about the transformation of George Lucas from benevolent, imaginative creator of timeless fantasy-adventure films to crass, money-grubbing, creatively bankrupt producer of empty spectacle, Howard The Duck is usually one of the first things cited as evidence.
38.) X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the absolute low point for 20th Century Fox' X-Men franchise, and is one of the worst superhero movies ever made. Rushed into production with an absolute mess of a screenplay, hacked to smithereens in the editing room, and incompetently directed by Gavin Hood - the film completely botches an attempt to combine an adaptation of the Daniel Way-Steve Dillon Wolverine: Origins comic series with the cinematic continuity of the previous X-Men films. Among Origins' transgressions is a completely toothless, wussy Wolverine; a mangled timeline; the needless shoehorning in of dozens of extraneous mutant characters like The Blob, Deadpool (perfectly played by Ryan Reynolds, to be fair), Gambit, Emma Frost, and more; and a ludicrous final battle sequence on Three Mile Island between Wolverine and a surgically enhanced Deadpool, who could teleport and shoot lasers out of his eyes. Oh, and his mouth was sewn shut. Yes, really.
37.) The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
This movie is terrible. TERRIBLE. I eviscerated Amazing Spider-Man 2 in my full-length review, and it continues to make me angrier and angrier the more I think about it. Aside from the phenomenal scenes of Spider-Man swinging, wise-cracking, and saving people in spectacular fashion (which takes up about 8 minutes of a 2-plus hour film), this sequel to an unnecessary reboot is an unmitigated disaster in almost every way. It's bloated, garish, boring, intelligence-insulting, and it just flat-out doesn't work.
Jaime Foxx plays his Electro/Max Dillon role like a guy who has only ever watched two or three superhero movies from the '90s, turning in an over-the-top, way too broad, cringe worthy villain caricature. Dane DeHaan's Harry Osborn is an immediately unlikable asshole, Andrew Garfield's Peter is still too cool, aloof, and smoldering to be an effective Peter Parker, and I just feel bad for Emma Stone for having to waste her effortless effervescence in these turd movies. This is the lowest-grossing Spider-Man movie of all time, and for good reason; it's so bad that it forced Sony to completely scrap the franchise and team up with Kevin Feige and Marvel Studios for yet another reboot of the character in 2017. I guess their hope is that people will forget about this mess and actually want to see another Spider-Man movie by then.
36.) Man-Thing (2005)
Honestly, Man-Thing isn't too horrible for a Direct-To-Video movie (especially considering what we've come to expect from those movies these days), but it's still populated by dull, faceless characters; and turned a bizarre and unique Marvel comics creation into just another B-horror movie creature. The effects are surprisingly good for a straight-to-video flick in 2005, but beyond that, there really isn't much to say about this very brief footnote in Marvel cinematic history.
35.) Captain America (1990)
Before Chris Evans strapped on the shield and became the living embodiment of the star-spangled Avenger on-screen in the current Marvel Cinematic Universe, the cheapie 21st Century Film Corporation put author J.D. Salinger's kid Matt Salinger in a rubber Cap suit (complete with rubber ears!), and trotted him out in an embarrassingly cheap and shoddy direct-to-video adaptation. A WWII battle sequence following Cap's (mostly faithful) origin in the first act showed some promise, but it's obvious that the $10 million budget was chewed up after that and the remainder of the film is laughably bad.
The worst aspect of this movie for me was Captain America's complete ineptitude when it came to fighting the Red Skull. Cap, of course, is supposed to be the greatest hand-to-hand fighter on the planet, yet he gets his ass handed to him by the Red Skull during their first meeting, barely getting a punch in. Oh, and did I mention the Red Skull is ITALIAN, and not German? Yeah, that should tell you all you need to know about this turkey. But hey, Ned Beatty's in it, so it has that going for it.
34.) Ghost Rider (2006)
This movie is the cinematic equivalent of lighting a bag of dog shit on fire, plopping it down on someone's front stoop, ringing the doorbell and running away laughing. Director Mark Steven Johnson (who will appear again on this list soon) enlisted noted Marvel Comics superfan Nicolas Cage---who at this point, was just beginning his descent into madness and insolvency---to strap on the worst hairpiece in the history of film to portray Johnny Blaze, the motorcycle stuntman alter-ego of the demon with the flaming skull known as Ghost Rider.
Cage decided to essentially play Johnny as Elvis Presley, and along for the ride was a mumbly, wooden Eva Mendes; a bored Peter Fonda; a paycheck-cashing Sam Elliot; and American Beauty's Wes Bentley as the villain Blackheart, who looked like a proto-Edward Cullen from the Twilight franchise. Terrible dialogue, a nonsensical narrative involving an ancient scroll, inert action sequences with zero stakes, and shoddy CGI effects all colluded to send this fiery stinker to eternal cinematic damnation.
33.) The Punisher (1989)
On paper, The Punisher seems like one of the easiest Marvel comics properties to adapt to the big screen. He has no superpowers, so you don't need a massive budget for special effects, and the narrative is a relatively straightforward one -- war veteran returns home, sees his family brutally gunned down in a park by the mob, and vows to take vengeance on all criminals using stealth, martial arts skills and enough guns to arm a third-world nation. Yet, somehow, studios and directors can't seem to make a successful adaptation out of this basic premise.
The first attempt was this direct-to-video cheapie starring Rocky IV's Ivan Drago, Dolph Lundgren as a Punisher who likes to sit Indian style in grimy sewers completely naked and deliver cheap hooch to his hobo informants in a Radio Shack RC car. The flick also stars Louis Gossett, Jr, as a cop hunting the Punisher down, and eventually the storyline involves the Yakuza kidnapping the children of mob bosses, and the mafia turning to the Punisher to help rescue them. Yes, it's as dumb as it sounds. Also the costume designer on the project thought it was a good idea to leave out the single most iconic element of the character -- the skull on his chest. So to recap, skull on chest = too silly. Sitting naked in a sewer = acceptable.
32.) Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (2011)
I'm ranking the Ghost Rider sequel a couple notches above the original because it had better directors (The Crank tandem of Neveldine & Taylor) who brought a more kinetic action style to the film, Badass Supreme Idris Elba is in it , and by this time the career meltdown of Nic Cage was at peak levels, making his batshit Elvis impersonation quite entertaining to watch. (His hairpiece was much better this time around, too.) The sequence where some goons fire hundreds of bullets into Ghost Rider's face and he spits them all back out like a hellish machine gun is also pretty badass. However, even with all of those elements in play, Spirit Of Vengeance is still a near-unwatchable nothing of a movie, with no one to care about and ugly, sparse locations. There is a scene in this film where Ghost Rider literally pisses fire. That happens. In a movie. I think we're done here.
31.) Fantastic Four (2005)
Marvel helped usher in the Silver Age of comics with The Fantastic Four #1 in November, 1961. "The First Family Of Comics" M.O. was high adventure, mind-blowing science, huge super-heroic spectacle, and encounters with bizarre creatures and beings from outer space and parallel dimensions. All of that sounds like it would make for a pretty insane summer blockbuster, right? Get Michael Chiklis to play a note-perfect Ben Grimm/The Thing and you're on your box-office glory, right? Well, not if you're 20th Century Fox, who saw the FF as a middling, moderately budgeted affair rushed into production to capitalize on the success of the X-Men and Spider-Man franchises (and to retain those pesky film rights to the IP).
Flatly lit, flatly shot, and just plain flatly executed by journeyman director Tim Story, The Fantastic Four is a weightless bit of superhero fluff that fails in capturing the spirit of the comic book in almost every aspect, save one -- the antagonistic but loving character dynamic between The Thing and Johnny Storm/The Human Torch, the latter perfectly realized by Chris Evans, years before taking on the Captain America role for Marvel Studios. Everything else in the movie is just lame from Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba's terrible chemistry as Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman, to the brief, dull action sequences. But the ultimate atrocity perpetrated by this weak adaptation is the catastrophic mis-casting of Nip/Tuck's Julian McMahon as Doctor Doom, who reduces the most fearsome villain in the entire Pantheon of Marvel baddies to a weaselly Business Tycoon constantly trying to get into Jessica Alba's panties. Unforgivable.
30.) Blade Trinity (2004)
We'll get to the first Blade's tremendous (and unsung) impact on modern superhero movies later on in the countdown, but for now we'll have to slog through the film that put a silver-plated stake directly into the heart of the franchise, 2004's Blade: Trinity. David Goyer---the current go-to guy for DC's comic book properties---did a bang-up job on the previous Blade films, but pulling double-duty here behind the director's chair split his focus too much, and the result is a badly-paced mess of a movie with no sense of danger or forward momentum, clogged with awful characters spouting silly dialogue ("That's atomized colloidal silver. It's being pumped through the building's air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!" is a shining example).
Wesley Snipes was shoved aside in his own star vehicle in favor of Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds as part of a team Blade allies himself with, called The Nightstalkers. New Line was looking to spin them off into their own franchise, but the poor reception (and box office take) of Blade: Trinity killed any possibility of that, and it actually blew up in their faces when Snipes filed a lawsuit against the studio for cutting him out of the casting process and other producing decisions. The movie also features a terribly mis-cast villain in Prison Break's Dominic Purcell, who portrays the king of all vampires, Dracula (or "Drake," here) as charisma-free, Euro-trash lunk.
29.) Daredevil (2003)
Ben Affleck might be on to bigger and better things in the superhero world these days - playing the greatest superhero of them all in the 2016 film Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice, but back when he was just a guy in his late 20s making poor business decisions, he donned some red leather to portray Marvel's "Man Without Fear" in this complete turkey of a superhero movie. Instantly dated by a painful and embarrassing nü-metal soundtrack (so much Evanescence!), Daredevil also commits the cardinal sin of shoehorning in 30 years of comic book continuity into a 100-minute run time, lengthy origin sequence and all.
The film has an ugly, early 'aughts blue digital look, and despite having some solid characterization, the costuming is laughably hideous (Colin Farrell looks like a transvestite biker in a Nickelback tribute band; Elektra is decked out in black leather dominatrix gear, rather than her red ninja sashes). Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner met and fell in love on this flick, but as the two leads they are thuddingly dull and, as mentioned in the Elektra entry above, Garner is just way too "Plain Jane" to play an exotic assassin. Lots of people will tell you the Director's Cut DVD is far better than the theatrical version, but all it does is add more Coolio and makes a terrible film even more unbearable.
28.) The Punisher (2004)
Marvel's second attempt at adapting the Punisher character featured a much better actor in Thomas Jane, a comics accurate costume (look, a skull!), a much larger budget, and a screenplay based on some great Punisher comics by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon - so, it had to be a much better movie, right? Well, only slightly, as it turned out. The 2004 Punisher flick took Frank Castle out of New York and inexplicably plopped him into Tampa Bay, and instead of just his wife and two kids getting taken out by the mob, it's an entire clan of Castles all sitting around the dinner table who get blown to smithereens by the film's HORRENDOUS bad guy, Howard Saint (John Travolta).
The main problem the Punisher has is its decidedly tepid, PG-rated approach to a very violent character and some decidedly R-rated comic book source material. See that still from the movie above where Frank is brandishing a big-ass gun? Well, I think that's pretty much the only scene in the movie where he actually uses a firearm. The Punisher spends most of the film enacting vengeance on Howard and his goons through blackmail, extortion, fisticuffs, random stuff like a pot of boiling oil, and the coup de grâce - a sequence where Frank parks Howard Saint's wife's car illegally so she accumulates dozens and dozens of parking tickets. Whoa, slow down Punisher movie.
27.) Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007)
Rise Of The Silver Surfer is a perfectly harmless superhero adventure suitable for the whole family that improves upon the lifeless original in some key ways - we've got a comics-accurate Silver Surfer, voiced by Laurence Fishburne; a cool chase scene between the Surfer and The Human Torch; a looming, world-ending threat in the coming of Galactus, Devourer of Worlds; and more playful and funny interaction between Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm.
Unfortunately, the film is also plagued many of the same issues that made the original such a dud. It's still flatly shot, Jessica Alba (and her horrible wig), Ioan Gruffudd, and Julian McMahon are still woefully mis-cast in their roles, and of course, this is the film that gave us the infamous "Galactus cloud," reducing an iconic, visually innovative Jack Kirby villain to a nebulous blob of ugly CGI haze. If these two Fantastic Four films were any more nondescript, they'd be off-white wallpaper.
26.) The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
The Amazing Spider-Man is slightly better than its execrable sequel, but it's still a pretty lousy movie. The biggest problem it has it its inherent superfluousness. It's a wholly unnecessary reboot/re-telling of Spider-Man's origin story, with the dreaded "grim, gritty, and grounded" tone and a focus on Peter's parents - an element that should never be explored in any Peter Parker story, because there is absolutely nothing interesting about his parents and they have no impact on what makes Peter Parker compelling as a character.
Clumsily executed by 500 Days Of Summer director Marc Webb, Amazing Spider-Man strives for the same emotional beats as the 2002 Sam Raimi Spider-Man, but fails to earn them at every turn. Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker is a sullen, smoldering, shoe-gazing hipster, and not a good-natured but hopeless nerd as he should be during his high school years. And when he dons the Spider-Man suit, instead of hurling witty, funny banter at bad guys, he just becomes a raging douchebag. There's a fine line between being a wiseass and being a dick, and Garfield is just a dick. Still, the action scenes are okay, and the chemistry between Garfield and Emma Stone is very sweet. It's a watchable Spider-Man movie, but vastly inferior to Raimi's. Yes, that's right, even our next entry....
23.) Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Comic book fans and mainstream audiences alike flocked to the first two installments of beloved genre director Sam Raimi's Spider-Man saga, and everything seemed to be in place for Raimi, Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco and company to finish out a trilogy in spectacular fashion. Sadly, producer and noted idiot Avi Arad (as well as the Sony suits) interfered and sent the whole thing straight to hell by insisting on the inclusion of fan-favorite Spidey villain Venom, mucking up a loaded narrative that already included Franco as the "New Goblin," Thomas Hayden Church's Sandman, and Bryce Dallas Howard's Gwen Stacy.
Somewhere in the bloated corpse of this movie lies the skeleton of a solid wrap-up to the storyline of Peter, Harry, and MJ kicked off in the 2002 original. All the stuff involving those three characters is watchable, but the Venom/Eddie Brock plotline is shoehorned in all but squeezes out poor Sandman's arc (which was gutted in editing) and Raimi---perhaps resentful of Arad's marketing-driven meddling---sabotaged his own movie with the howlingly awful "emo" Peter Parker sequences and the now-infamous jazz club dance number. Meanwhile, Gwen Stacy has nothing to do in the movie (she essentially exists as a plot device to create tension between Peter and MJ), and screenwriters Ivan Raimi and Alan Sargent thought it would be a brilliant idea to ret-con Peter's origin by making The Sandman responsible for Uncle Ben's death. Also: THE TWIST SCENE. *shudder*
24.) X-Men 3: The Last Stand (2006)
The Last Stand has the unfortunate distinction of demonizing and forever besmirching the name of director Brett Ratner, who was just "that guy who did the Rush Hour movies" before replacing franchise shepherd Bryan Singer (and second choice Matthew Vaughn, as well) at the last minute, resulting in a rushed and schizophrenic finale to the X-Men trilogy. So now Ratner is synonymous with any hired gun director brought on board to quickly churn out big budget studio product in time to meet set-in-stone release dates and secure the necessary opening weekend gross. (See Marvel Studios current Ant-Man situation as an example of a movie that fans are hoping doesn't end up "getting Ratnered").
Despite the bad script and Ratner's hack job, this third X-Men film isn't the unwatchable turd most critics would have you believe it is. Ratner did an admirable job aping Singer's X-Men visual aesthetic from the previous installments, and it's got some good stuff - almost everything Ian McKellan's Magneto does; the Multiple Man forest gag; the Danger Room sequence; Kesley Grammar's portrayal of The Beast/Hank McCoy (though the makeup is laughable); and a pretty dramatic finale involving Wolverine and Jean Grey. Yet, although it’s not the low point of the X-Men movie franchise (that would be the aforementioned X-Men Origins: Wolverine), X-Men: The Last Stand is still a terrible, terrible movie. It’s too short; the whole thing feels sloppy and rushed; the editing is atrocious; beloved characters are unceremoniously killed off and quickly forgotten; the special effects (especially the wire-work) are laughably bad; the screenplay is a mess; the acting performances range from godawful to dull; and it’s shoddily directed. But the most frustrating thing about it is, it never had to be that bad. A little patience and understanding by FOX could have prevented one of the most tragic mistakes in geek culture history.
23.) Hulk (2003)
The failure of this 2003 Universal Pictures version of Marvel Comics' beloved Jade Giant is an important stepping stone to the sprawling, interconnected Marvel Cinematic Universe from Marvel Studios that we know and flock to today. You see, before the (mostly successful) Incredible Hulk reboot in 2008 and the character's subsequent gangbusters appearance in The Avengers in 2012, The Hulk was just another Marvel Comics property whose film rights were controlled by an outside studio, languishing in film development hell for literally decades. Universal finally pulled the trigger in 2003, hiring auteur director Ang Lee to bring to life on the big screen in full CGI glory (and not just a bodybuilder in a fright wig and green paint), but after audiences collectively shrugged their shoulders at it, they let the rights revert back to Marvel Studios.
So what exactly went wrong with this version of The Hulk? Well, despite having beautiful cinematography, a pretty vivid color palette and innovative "comic book panel" storytelling (and a fun fight where The Hulk throws a tank around), Hulk is just not very much fun. It's glacially paced and ponderously dull at times, especially during the relationship drama between Jennifer Connelly's Betty Ross and Eric Bana's Bruce Banner. At the crux of the film is a psychologically complex Daddy-issue narrative between Eric Bana and a thoroughly creepy Nick Nolte that failed to connect with an audience looking for some less heady superhero spectacle. Some inconsistent and downright bizarre CGI work marred things as well (just LOOK at that Hulk model...eeesh). Oh, and did I mention the Hulk fights a giant, mutated POODLE in this film? Yeah.
22.) Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
All right, well, I have good news for you - we're pulling out of the realm of truly terrible Marvel films and ascending into mediocre territory here with this unnecessary, but enjoyable enough sequel. The original Kick-Ass was a sharp-as-nails bit of subversive superhero deconstruction, deftly adapted from the Mark Millar/John Romita Jr. comic book miniseries by director Matthew Vaughn. It did well enough at the box office for the studio to entertain the idea of the sequel, but Vaughn stepped down from director duty, handing things off to writer Jeff Wadlow, and the film probably came out a year too late. It also suffers from some homogenization - where the first film's vulgarity, violence, and superhero satire felt fresh, the same stuff in Kick-Ass 2 feels safe, routine, and stale.
One of the truly great things about the original Kick-Ass was Chloe Moretz' pint-sized, swear-spitting murder machine Hit-Girl. Moretz was a 12 year-old playing a 10 year-old in that first film, and calling bad guys a bunch of cunts before slicing them up was shocking and uproarious in that context, but in the sequel it loses impact coming out of the mouth of a suddenly statuesque teenager. Her plotline involving some struggles adapting to high school and facing off against a clique of mean girls also falls flat. The best stuff in Kick-Ass 2 is dorky protagonist Dave Lizewski /Kick Ass' involvement in a street-patrolling superhero team called Justice Forever, led by Jim Carrey's bonkers Colonel Stars & Stripes, and featuring various oddball characters with names like Night-Bitch and Insect Man. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is also highly entertaining in his new supervillain identity, The Motherfucker.
21.) Punisher War Zone (2008)
The third (and most recent) attempt at adapting Marvel's gun-toting vigilante is this 2008 entry directed by Lexi Alexander. Although it's not part of the "Marvel Cinematic Universe," War Zone was produced by Marvel Studios under their mature "Marvel Knights" banner, and boy does it deliver on the "ol' ultra-violence." Heavily influenced by the rust-tinted, grimy look of horror films of the time like Saw, Punisher War Zone is a ludicrously gory and way over the top shoot-em-up that features a parkour artist getting blown up by a rocket launcher mid-jump, and The Punisher punching right through a guy's face. Insane. It's also the first Punisher movie that actually allows Frank to use an extensive arsenal of firearms, provided to him by his armorer/assistant Microchip (also making his first appearance), as well as the first time the Punisher gets a comic book adversary in the form of Dominic West's disfigured gangster, Jigsaw. Ray Stevenson---who these days plays Volstagg in the Thor franchise---is probably the most imposing onscreen iteration of the character so far, but some critics felt he was too grim; coming across like a soulless, one-dimensional Terminator-like killer.
War Zone is hindered by a cheap look and some overly broad performances, but if you're looking for an outlandish, dark, and batshit crazy comic book action movie, it's tough to beat. Sadly, Lionsgate, who distributed Punisher: War Zone, unceremoniously dumped the movie into theaters with little to no marketing whatsoever, but it remains a cult favorite today thanks in part to an exuberant word-of-mouth campaign launched by comedian Patton Oswalt around the time of its release. If you want to see a Punisher movie where he blows people's limbs and heads off with shotguns, and aren't too interested in exploring the themes of the character and what makes him tick, this is the flick for you.