I really thought I'd heard it all when it came to crazy things happening while seeing Fifty Shades of Grey in theaters. There have been accounts of some fights, drunken misconduct, and some self-pleasuring, but this one really tops it all.
A Cineworld theater in Milton Keynes, England had to be cleared out while screening a sold-out show of Fifty Shades of Grey because a woman *cough* evacuated her bowels - to put it lightly - during the film.
Now, if you're wondering if the movie is really so graphic that it would make someone violently ill, I'm here to tell you it's not. I can almost hear the disappointment of some of you from my computer screen. This case of puking and dookie-ing was one brought on by heavy consumption of alcohol.
According to eyewitness accounts, the woman was so drunk that she threw up in the theater and decided that a good followup would be to then soil herself from the other end as well. Might as well be symmetrical, I guess.
According to the Milton Keynes Citizen, one source said of the incident:
She lost control of everything, including all bodily fluids. The whole cinema stank. We all expected to see Christian Grey gag Anastasia as part of the plot. We certainly didn’t expect to be gagging ourselves because of the stench.
Another theater goer was a little more graphic regarding the scene of the crime.
I’m not sure of her age but she so drunk she couldn’t move. She practically had to be carried out. And the mess she left behind was just disgusting. There was no way they could clean it up there and then – it would be a specialist job, so the film was stopped and everybody had to leave.
It was so disappointing. We’d really been looking forward to seeing it after reading the books. It was an absolute disaster. There is nothing less romantic than seeing a woman be violently ill everywhere.
That last sentence is quite the understatement. And for any public bowel movements to be considered a "specialist job" is nearly an accomplishment. Albeit a disgusting one.
As I was not in the theater (thank goodness), I can only speculate on when the disastrous incident occurred. Was it appropriately timed to when Ana threw up on herself after some serious drinking? Maybe it was when they were in the glider that she began to feel nauseated. Or perhaps it was the first time she saw Christian's "Red Room of Pain." It's hard to say!
While I feel pretty bad for everyone involved in the situation, I especially feel awful for whoever was sitting next to her! How do you even react in a situation like that?
I'd probably just put my popcorn down calmly, grab my belongings, silently walk out of the theater and keep walking until I hit the ocean without ever looking back.
Some people go to see [Fifty Shades of Grey](movie:391697) because they're fans of the books and others just go for some shits and giggles. But in this case, the latter party may have gotten a bit more than they bargained for.
Oh well! At least they probably got to see Jamie Dornan without a shirt on, so the night wasn't a total loss.