ByBJ Hall, writer at Creators.co
I write Comedy, Do Stand-up, Travel Through Time, and enjoy the FUCK out of a good movie! Twitter: @InitiallyDirty FB: https://www.facebook.
BJ Hall

Back in 1999 the world was consumed by 2 things: Y2K and The Blair Witch Project. It is the first “found footage” movie within my memory, and it sparked the a darkness the likes of which have never been seen… no, not evil spirits, but more than a damn decade of a Hollywood obsession with “found footage” types of movies - and I am not sure how evil spirits would have been less of a horror at this point. One thing i can say though is that the public went fucking insane over this flick. Theories of it being real were sort of taken seriously, but so are claims that the moon landing was fake so there is that, but I remember how nuts it was being a movie fan and hearing the gullible (which included myself for a short time just because it was awesome) that wanted to believe it was real and that those people did die at the hand of some horrible evil spirit. “Should have fucking better known better,” they would say - clinching their bible a little more tighter - there deaths affirming their own beliefs in the nefarious world of witchitatin’ ({witch-a-tate-in’} HAHA I know its not a word, but if I never said anything to the contrary I bet these sorts of people would believe it was - if they read anything else at all).

ITS REAL, THE CORNER IS REEEEEAL!!!!
ITS REAL, THE CORNER IS REEEEEAL!!!!

Yes, I lived through the Blair Witch "era" living in the bible belt, so shit got a little fun for a bit. Anyhow, if you have yet to see the movie…. well.... I'm guessing you must be a millennial so let me break it down for you:

It is the shaky adventure of a documentary film crew who goes looking for the place where the legend of this witch in this small town of Blair - hence the name the Blair Witch Project. They go around and ask the local townsfolk about it - to which they happily tell stories of child killings and devil worship, etc etc. They go out looking for her, get lost, and end up dying because they are stupid college kids who bring only one map, no nothing about the woods, and are fucking around with some sort of evil they don’t understand when they should be getting hammered and working on some abstract art film about feelings coupled with depression like the other 98% of film students. All of it filmed with a series of handheld cameras of course (That used VHS tapes: EWWWW I KNOWWWWW RIIIGHT MILLENNIALS?!!?!) and the tapes were supposedly discovered by police a couple months after they disappeared. The ending is okay in my opinion but it could have been SOOOOO much sweeter!!!

Why? Because it set itself up for a way way better story early on in the film when they meet a character (towns person) named Mary Brown.

I seent er, I did!!!
I seent er, I did!!!

Shes was this crazy old bat of a woman, probably in her 60’s but looked much older, and squawking about how she had seen the Blair Witch when she was a kid. To me, if this film had any sense of storytelling, it would have have brought old white trash Mary Brown back and with some god damn gusto!!!

The Epic Alt-Ending It NEEDED!!!

Heather Donahue runs into the dilapidated cabin after Mike, gets to the same room she was in before except now there is that old lady from the earlier footage: Mary Brown and she is pacing back and forth in the center of the room, her steps kicking up dust from the dirt cellar floor. She is talking to herself, and gripping what looks like to be a book - her voice inaudible until Heather with the camera in her hands moves toward her. As she gets closer to the old woman, who seems to be oblivious her presence, the camera's audio can make out the words inside whisper. A repeating phrase, like a broken record of a wispy cracked voice she seems to be muttering the words
“She’s here… she’s here… she’s here.” ceaselessly.

Quickly, and with abruptness enough to make both Heather and the camera jump back a bit, and without stopping her repetitious mumbling Mary shoves the book into Heather’s arms. With a single glance into the 4th wall of the camera, Mary’s dull white eyes stare deep into the lens still while drooling the words “She’s here” she turns and walks mechanically back to the center of the room where she begins pacing once more, but now frantically scratching her arms and neck.

Heather is freaking the hell out - as she did earlier in the film - at this point and she points the camera down at arm where the book rests. The book is open and the pages are scribbled with unknown text and pictures of what look like ancient drawings of demons and horrors unimaginable.

hmmmmmm familiar.....
hmmmmmm familiar.....

As the camera is down focused on the strange pages, the entire time actually, the ladies whispering can be heard gaining volume, and after a couple of turned pages the woman screams and the book closes. Before the camera pulls up to address the source of the repetitive and creepy scream however, the cover of the book can be seen for only a second. What do you see? Why, an old familiar face - and when I mean face I mean Face:

That’s right, the Necronomicon Exmotis, the MoFukin' Book of the Dead!!!
That’s right, the Necronomicon Exmotis, the MoFukin' Book of the Dead!!!

The camera (and remember its only after a second o camera time) flips up toward the screaming Mary Brown, who is now center to the undead bodies (yes, of course they are hollow eyed deadites) of the two men she came with into those woods.

Hey Mike, Hey JOS....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Hey Mike, Hey JOS....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Mary Brown - who is not Mary Brown any longer - is now floating, her body contorted (in that classic Deadite style)

SHE'S HEEEERRRREEEE!!!!!
SHE'S HEEEERRRREEEE!!!!!

The deformed Mary rushes at Heather and towards the camera - which drops onto the ground (like the original) toward the demonically cackling voices of the two men of whom only their legs can be seen in the background unmoving. In the foreground however lay the Necronomicon, its face visibly sprayed with Heather's own blood. The blood begins to soak into the evil books stitching as we hear the screams of the poor Heather being dismembered by the real Blair Witch herself. Her struggle is intense and off camera - which stops abruptly. The laughter going silent as well, as if timed with the our camera operators death.

Here lies she who brought no GPS... RIP
Here lies she who brought no GPS... RIP

Footsteps are heard approaching from the back towards the camera. All of this happens as we witness the blood be sucked into the skin of the cursed right; and as soon as it absorbs it completely, a withered hand reaches down into camera and grabs the book.

Cut to black. THE END......?

or……WE CAN Push it even further!!! (Forget the "Cut to Black" portion and read on like it never existed)

A Chainsaw wales and an old deformed arm gripping the book falls on the floor in front of the camera, its fate sealed by what we can only assume is the mysterious chainsaw's wielder who cut off that hand prompting a shrill shriek which attacks the air along with the rumbling of a small engine. “Come get some.” is uttered off camera, which is now centered on the twitching arm holding the Necronomicon. Its a familiar voice, and at the sound of it the legs of the two men in the back come up on there toes and float quickly toward its source, sliding off camera.

HE he he he he he heeeeeee!!!!
HE he he he he he heeeeeee!!!!

The roar of the engine can be heard going to work. Along with the crackle of a witches voice loudly slicing the air with the words “I’ll Swallow your soul, I’ll swallow your SOUL!” The chainsaw stops its revving and idles.

*Click*Click* “Swallow This...” The voice answers off camera, quickly followed by a loud:

A spray of blood washes over the camera as it begins to short out, the hand which had the book is now crawling away...........................................................

*Squeak Squeak Squeek*
*Squeak Squeak Squeek*

A boot comes down, right on top of the five fingered fiend - stopping it. The camera cuts off while the sound seems to still pick up a faint whisper:

“Groovy...”

Credits MoFukin ROLL!!!

this would have made the Blair Witch Project into something else entirely yes…. but damn would it of made it pretty kick ass if I do say so myself. What do you guys and gals think?

Poll

So, do you think that this might have made a great Atl-Ending to the flick?

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