ByIan M. Simpson, writer at
I love superheroes and villains alike! I'm also a big fan of Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Gaming! Follow me on Twitter! @The_Simpsonian
Ian M. Simpson

Mikey cannot believe it. After all this time, he did it. He is standing before One-Eyed Willy himself. All of the gems and pearls and gold strewn about meant little compared to the fact that he was standing before the pirate that his dad had always told those stories about. He had just finished saying hi to the lifeless skeleton when he looked behind him to see his friends standing there.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asks, although he already knows the answer.

"Long enough Mikey." his brother Brand responds, "Long enough."

They had barely begun to discuss their plans for the treasure before Mama Fratelli made her presence known, holding her pistol straight at them. Mikey had half-a thought to make a stand right then and there. There were more Goonies than there were Fratellis. He then realized that even if they could overpower the criminal family, the odds of one of the Goonies coming to harm was too high, so they surrendered.

The Fratellis marched them out to the deck of the ship with swords at their backs, in true pirate fashion. They demanded all of the gems and gold that the Goonies had pocketed, including the surprisingly long string of pearls that was lodged in Mouth's mouth.

When the Fratelli brothers went back to grab the rest of the treasure in the cabin, they were a bit too reckless. When Mikey and the rest of the Goonies looted the table, Mikey insisted that they leave the small pile of look on the ornamental scale. The Fratelli brothers cared about no such thing.

As soon as they took loot from the scale, the skeletons sitting around the table rose to their feet. Francis Fratelli jumped backwards and yelped, spilling the gold he was carrying all over the wooden floor. The skeleton pirate crew lunged, and the Fratelli brothers ran.

"What's going on? Where's the gold?" Mama Fratelli demanded. The Fratelli brothers tried to reply but all that came out of their mouths were shrieks and gibberish. She found out soon enough, as the skeleton crew shambled out through the cabin door, most of them armed. Willy led the crew, the ornate eye patch making him look more intimidating than the rest.

Out of panic, Mama Fratelli shot her pistol at one of the skeletons. The bullet hit one of the skeletons arms, making him drop his sword. He seemed unfazed however, and continued moving forward with the rest of the crew. The Fratelli brothers used their swords to try at bat away the incoming skeletons, but the skeletons were pirates, and obviously had more experience in swordsmanship. Willy raised his sword to Mama Fratelli's throat, but before he could do anything further, he was interrupted with a cry from above.


The Goonies, the Fratellis, and the pirate crew looked up to see Sloth slide down the mast along with Chunk. The Fratellis made good use of the distraction to jump overboard, landing hard in the water below. The skeleton crew started towards Sloth, who had just picked up a nearby saber. Willy raised his sword, commanding his crew to charge. Sloth seemed ready to defend himself, but the Goonies, Chunk included, were screaming for Sloth to put the sword down and run. Willy and his crew were just out of sword-range when Mikey yelled "Willy!"

One-Eyed Willy signaled for his crew to stop and looked back at Mikey. The Goonie was holding out his arm, palm upward and full of gold. "We don't want to steal from you Willy. Here's your gold, just don't hurt my friends!" He then went on to explain his situation, that he and his family were being evicted and they were just trying to pay off the debt-collectors.

Mikey was sure that Willy didn't understand. How could he? He was just a skeleton, but Willy walked closer toward him nonetheless. He dropped his sword and picked a few gems off of the ground. Looking Mikey dead in the eye, he dropped the gems in Mikey's outstretched hand, his fragile skull nodding. He then signaled to the rest of the crew, and went back inside the cabin, with the rest of the skeletons in tow.

The Goonies exclaimed in happiness, even Sloth, who didn't even know what was going on. Together they found a way out of the cave and to the beach, where the police had already apprehended the Fratellis. Their parents were called, and they used a fraction of the treasure to pay off their debt, using the rest to live a more comfortable life-style. Data finally had enough money to make more high-tech inventions, Chunk had nearly limitless arcade tokens, and Brand had enough to show Andy a good time. Mikey kept one gem though, just to remember that Willy was out there, and he was alive.


What did you guys think of my alternate ending?


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