ByMarlon McDonald, writer at Creators.co
Umm... are you going to drink that Skooma?
Marlon McDonald

(Warning: This article contains teeny-tiny spoilers for Season 5 of GoT, but seeing as HBO released this information themselves, I wouldn't go stressing too much about it.)

April 12th feels like a lifetime away when you're sitting at home, salivating ferociously and jonesing for fresh tales straight outta Westeros and Essos. But jones no more, my friends, as the internet now comes complete with four episode titles and three synopses of Game of Thrones Season 5!

If you're still up on the happenings from the end of Season 4 and the narrative of the novels, you know that, for example, Arya is on her way to find the "House of Black and White," and that Jon Snow is caught between two self-proclaimed regent manchilds. But in typical HBO fashion, the synopses are crazy vague yet strangely filling...

It's kinda like bread, but is it?
It's kinda like bread, but is it?

Game of Thrones Season 5 Synopses

Alright, *clicks fingers*, let's have a look then:

Episode 41: “The Wars to Come” - Cersei and Jaime adjust to a world without Tywin. Varys reveals a conspiracy to Tyrion. Dany faces a new threat to her rule. Jon is caught between two kings. (Written by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss; directed by Michael Slovis.)
Episode 42: “The House of Black and White” - Arya arrives in Braavos. Pod and Brienne run into trouble on the road. Cersei fears for her daughter’s safety in Dorne as Ellaria Sand seeks revenge for Oberyn’s death. Stannis tempts Jon. An adviser tempts Dany. (Written by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss; directed by Michael Slovis.)
Episode 43: “High Sparrow” - In Braavos, Arya sees the Many-Faced God. In King’s Landing, Queen Margaery enjoys her new husband. Tyrion and Varys walk the Long Bridge of Volantis. (Written by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss; directed by Mark Mylod.)

And the fourth episode, which is currently without a synopsis, is titled "The Sons of the Harpy."

Did you guys garner much from the synopses?

The fifth season is drawing heavily from Martin's fourth and fifth novels, A Storm of Swords and A Dance With Dragons, but will also be expected to deviate quite wildly from the narratives of both! Even excluding certain subplots, like a certain "Kingsmoot" on the Iron Islands.

Legend.
Legend.

Even Martin spared a moment to warn Thrones fans about the impending slaughter fest:

"People are going to die who don’t die in the books, so even the book readers will be unhappy. So everybody better be on their toes. David and D.B. are even bloodier than I am."

"David and D.B. are even bloodier than I am," well great. What does that mean? How is that possible? Will Kings Landing sink into the Narrow Sea, and its floundering inhabitants be gobbled up like a snack by a Kraken? Will The Mountain turn into some zombified murderous husk and stalk the Kingsroad, eating women and children and stopping only to bench press trees?

Okay, that's all a little farfetched, but you can't put anything past this team of draconian puppet masters!

The series' deviation from the narrative of the novels is fair enough, in my eyes anyway. It keeps the show fresh for fans of the book series, allowing us to finally indulge in the internet's fevered frenzies instead of being all stoic and "yeah, I've known that for a year. IMAGINE HOW I'VE FELT CARRYING THIS KNOWLEDGE?!"

Me during the credits after The Red Wedding
Me during the credits after The Red Wedding

But Wait... There's More

HBO launched their new iDevice and PC wireless streaming service with a brand new, and incredible, trailer for GoT. If you're lost for ideas of what to expect after reading the synopses above, this might aid the "eureka" moment:

So yeah, there was my deluge of GoT news. Felt good to get that off my chest!

But I can't help but wonder about who GoT's showrunners are gonna kill of next...

Who do you guys think?

Let me know HERE! and in the comments below!

(Source: Comic Book, HBO via Twitter, Screencrush)

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