Well, this is embarrassing.
The Crow: Wicked Prayer is the fourth installment in the Crow franchise. I mean, considering it's the fourth film should say enough...but this film has been my guilty pleasure for years. I can't help it; it's so cheesy and awful that I just want to watch it over and over. It's like watching a car crash: you don't want to watch but you can't look away.
The first film, starring Brandon Lee (may he rest in peace), obtained a large cult following. I think a lot of that has to do with Lee's endearing character, who was subsequently a badass. Everyone knows The Crow; he's the rock star that is murdered, along with his fiancee, and comes back to avenge her. Fabulous film. I consider it classic.
I stumbled across The Crow: Wicked Prayer watching Fuse (remember Fuse?!) when I was in middle school, I think. It was a long time ago. I want to say I was home sick from school, so I was most likely delirious. That's probably why I liked Wicked Prayer so much. (Or maybe I just liked it and I don't want to admit it out loud...)
Also, Edward Furlong was such a babe. (And yes, it is the same Edward Furlong from Terminator.) He was even my phone background on my flip phone for a while. -insert teenage swoon here-
But let me tell you why this film is #sobig, or So Bad It's Good.
Beautiful Edward Furlong is living as an ex-con with his girlfriend on a reservation, and his plan is to get out for good. Meanwhile, David Boreanaz (post-Buffy) and Tara Reid the trainwreck roll into town. They're Satanists, trying to conjure the Antichrist.
So it figures, Jimmy Cuervo (Jimmy Crow, I know, so original) who is played by Furlong, and his girlfriend Lily are brutally murdered. It's a ritualistic killing done by Luc Crash (Boreanaz) and Lola Byrne (Reid). Perhaps the worst part of the film are the names of the characters...
So the four horsemen of the apocalypse, as they are so appropriately named (honestly, who came up with these names?) , Pestilence, Famine, and War, set out to help Mr. Luc Crash find Cuervo and kill him once and for all. But you know, he's already dead.
The entire premise of the film is pretty awful. The plot had so many holes, and I found myself saying "I have no idea what's going on" so many times, but I don't know, I just couldn't stop staring at Edward Furlong's face! All I wanted was to be his girlfriend who's death he avenges, and we could live happily ever after, riding off into the sunset on a crow together or something.
So I went to Best Buy and bought it on DVD, and watched it about 10 times.
Now I can't watch it anymore, because every time I tell someone I actually sort of enjoyed it, they laugh in my face, and now I have psychological damage.
Please don't laugh at me.