ByKieran Tyrrell, writer at
Kieran Tyrrell

There are some franchises that are universally loved like the star wars films (original trilogies) or the Harry potter films or James Bond but there are some that make it abundantly clear that all it takes to have a franchise is box office. So here are 5 franchises that support that statement.

5. The spoof "movie" movie franchise

consists of: scary movies, date movie, epic movie, superhero, meet the Spartans etc

Why it's terrible: When making a comedy aren't you supposed to make it funny? all the comedy that goes into these films is "hey remember that thing from that film 5 years ago? well here it is again but terrible and hey! somebody get hit in the crotch". These films are just unbearable and come off as extremely desperate.

4.Pirates of the Caribbean

consist of: Curse of the black pearl. dead mans chest,at worlds end and on stranger tides.

Why it's terrible: You can summarise the plot of all four movies in this franchise (which clocks up to 600 minutes or 10 FREAKING HOURS) in one sentence. Johnny Depp is a drunk pirate. That's it that is all this franchise consists of and now the franchise has lost Keira Knightley because she realised that she is better than this crap which is good because she has proven that she is a great actress and doesn't need these films. There is also a new instalment of the franchise coming out in the next few years which if it lives up to the rest of the franchise will just be more "hey I'm Johnny depp and this does be my drunk English am I funny yet" it'll probably be better than Mortdecai but I still don't want to see another over long, plot less, boring piece of drivel which has made up the entire franchise so far.

3. Taken

consists of: Taken 1,2 and 3

Why it's terrible: I think we can all agree that the first taken film is fairly decent film. It's nothing special but it's stupid fun and Liam neeson is pretty bad ass in it. Then we got a sequel that was just mind numbingly stupid and then we got ANOTHER SEQUEL that came out earlier this year and that was just unwatchable. After olivier megaton took over as director the films became a shaky cam mess with any grit removed so they could push the film on younger audiences which is just shameless. These films have are just money grabs (obviously) but thankfully Taken 3 is hopefully the final nail in the coffin for the series.

2. Fast and the furious

Consists of: fast and the furious, 2 fast 2 furious, Tokyo drift, fast and furious

Why it's terrible: This franchise went from crap street racing films to crap heist films but now with the rock. The films are now just a mash of big explosions and vin diseal saying "we are a family. us guys are a family. FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY". We get it they're a family because they blow stuff up together that doesn't mean I care at all about any of the characters or what happens to any of them in the film. The worst part of all of this is that they are probably going to bring out a couple more of these "films" after the one that comes out later this year which means the worst could still be yet to come.

1. the Transformers

That guys was in Boogie nights and now look at him
That guys was in Boogie nights and now look at him

Consists of: Transformers age of the revenge that has fallen on the dark side of the moon

Why it's terrible: BOOM POW BAM CABOW (SLIGHTLY RACIST REMARK) BAM BENG BOOOM SHCHOW BOOM (SEXIST REMARK) BAM THE END. There, you have now sat through transformers movie. Michael bays repugnant franchise about shiny fighty explosion robots is perhaps the worst franchise of all time if you exclude Nazi propaganda films from world war 2 (maybe. they would probably still be transformers). The other franchises on this list had films that were just mindless terrible crap but these film while being mindless and terrible they are a little immoral and extremely perverted in its depiction of women. I am almost certain that if you see one of these films you will come out of it at the end of these 9 hour films with a lower IQ than what you originally had. Age of extinction was the highest grossing film of 2014 which makes me question humanity because in seeing these films we are feeding Bay and giving him excuses to make more of these disgusting cinematic turds once every 2 years. The worst part is we are getting more.

that's the list. if you think I missed out on any other terrible franchises let me know in the comments below, or don't I'm not your dad


Latest from our Creators