Hello there I have written this article for a contest here on Moviepilot. I also wrote this to explain why I think Marvel wins. So kick back relax (unless your a Dc fanboy that is) and enjoy my first ever article on movie pilot.
It began like any other day in the life of me Deadpool. I was just chilling out back being awesome when a couple of guys were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood. Well actually I guess you could say I started it. I had been hired online by some rich guy wanted me to come to starling city for some useless crap about some stupid rich family. Said he'd pay me a ton if I kidnapped the daughter said she was "Worth a fortune". So obviously I had to say yes I mean who don't love money? Well so I did things were going good I captured the whiny B while she was high on coke. I mean could ya believe it! Easiest rich kid to catch ever! However the deal went south when the loser was found dead said they had found an arrow in his neck er somethin. So I did what any normal guy would do asked the family for ransom. Ofcourse some wack job had to step in and ruin my fun. An hour after I requested ransom the chick was all "ugh me go! and wah wah wah". Till I heard a real deep voice shout "Wade Wilson! You have failed this city" to which I replied "Yeah no crap I don't really care about this dump". Next thing I knew an arrow went straight into my head. Ofcourse as any cool subscriber would know I gotta healing factor. So I just pulled it outta my head and let me tell you ladies and gentlemen that damn did that hurt!
So then the guy showed himself to me had a green hood that covered his face and a quiver full of arrows on his back. So anyways I said "Great another Hawkeye knock off!" That's when the whole argument took place. To save you guys time (also cuz I'm a lazy author and my memory sucks) it went down like this. We were talking trash about eachothers friends and eachother for a solid 20 minutes. Then finally "Well if your Avengers are earth mightiest heroes then they'll have to meet the justice league in Metropolis tomorrow at 9'O Clock". "Allright fine!" "FINE!" So ofcourse I had to convince the Avengers to fight the Justice Loser. Luckily ,However, I just so happened to be recording the whole argument (don't ask why) and texted it to the whole Avengers team. 4 minutes later I got a text from Captain America that read "Oh we'll be there all right!" So I figured the battle was on and man did I have no idea what I'd gotten us into.
At 9:00 we had "assembled" (hehe get it!) the ensemble included Scarletwitch, Quicksilver, Ironman, Hulk, Hawkeye, Vision,and Captain America while on the JLA's side ( apparently nerds call them that) Batman, Green Arrow, Flash, Superman, Wonderwoman, Green Lantern, and Red Tornado. On the Deadpool corps side there was me and oddly enough for some reason my cousin Deathstroke showed up as well. Well the battle Behan before we would even pep Talk cuz Hulk was itchin to take a crack at Supes. The match ups went like this Batman V Ironman, Green Arrow V Hawkeye, Red Tornado V Vision, Flash V Quicksilver, Hulk V Superman, Wonderwoman V Scarletwitch, Greenlantern V Captainamerica and yours truly and Slade Wilson.
Now don't get pissed but a lot went down and I'm sure I forgot a lot must be that drug Butler's been giving me. So as I said Hulk leaped in the air and tackled Supes who somehow survived that. Then the rest of us charged into battle and me an Slave fought valiantl. I leaped in the air and did a flip whilst saying "Hey cuz how's Arkham Origins been treatin ya!". On my landing I swung my sword Slade blocked my strike then counter attacked with a roundhouse kick and said "I have no idea what your talking about!" The kick got me good it was like being kicked in the stomache by a horse ,however, I swallowed pulled out my pistol fired while saying "Denial not gonna lie I don't really understand after all my game was awesome". Deathstroke somehow managed to dodge the bullet do a flip and attempt to kick me in the face while landing. "Ooh I think I struck a nerve" I said dodging his kick. "Your words me nothing to m-" before Slave could finish Superman slammed straight into him. I guess while hulk and him tustled Hulk got ahold of him and chucked him so hard it knocked Slade clean out. I looked around Red Tornado and Vision lied there in scrap heaps on the floor. Hulk roared and leaped on Superman before he could get up. Quicksilver had Flash in a painful head lock Greenlantern and Cap were still going at it same for the 2 girls and archers . Finally Tony was on the floor getting the crap beatin outta him. I later found out that Bats had help from some chick named Oracle who hacked Tony's suit. I raced to help Tony and came up behind Batman and kicked him in the head. "Gee the rumors are true you are blind as a bat" Batman looked pist at this. He tossed a smoke bomb at me then came up behind me and wrestled me to the floor. There we wrestled for five minutes till bats got me pinned down and started kneeing my Stomach I thought I was gonna vomit. "You mad bro?" I gasped. At this he kneed me harder and I almost passed out till big green hands pulled him off me.
I looked around and found the Justice Losers were defeated and lie there out cold. "Woo! we won!" "Yeah...I guess" yawned Captain America. Hulk roared a mighty roar and then I said "all right who wants some chimichangas?" Immediately after that Quicksilver vomited. As soon as he vomited we all did (including Hulk who vomited a river) after that we all passed out.
And so ends story of DC V MARVEL I'm Deadpool thanks for listening.