This past Saturday at the Sony Pictures Studio in Los Angeles, Justin Bieber was roasted on Comedy Central. It got pretty ugly at times, and cheeky as well. There was a Ron Burgundy appearance, Hannibal Burress getting a little too cold-blooded, hilarious Ludacris and Snoop Dogg jokes, the classic Jeffrey Ross roast-appearance, and much much more.
The show won't air until the 30th but here are a few images and jokes from the show that you can look forward to catching when the roast hits the airwaves.
“Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now,” joked Jeff Ross.
The aforementioned Ron Burgundy appearance went well
It wasn't overly brutal... I think Bieber enjoyed it actually. “This kid has spunk, moxie, and a few other STDs,” Burgundy joked.
Kevin Hart came with some heat... “Tonight we’re going to give what his parents and the legal system should have done years ago,” host Kevin Hart said. “We’re going to give this boy an ass-whoopin’.”
Ludacris said, “Justin Bieber wants to be black so bad, he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters."
Comedian and Undateable's Chris D'Elia said “You have it all... except love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy.”
Hannibal Buress came with the real... “They say that you roast the ones you love,” the Broad City actor said, “but I don’t like you at all, man. I’m just here because it’s a real good opportunity for me.”
He continued, brutally... “Actually you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And, I hope it doesn’t work.”
Even Shaquille O'Neal got on Justin... “Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.”
Snoop Dogg got in on the action too... “You bought a monkey!” he said. “I mean, that monkey was more embarrassed than the one that started the AIDS epidemic.”
I don't really know why people hate Justin Bieber so much. He's a product of a weird, weird upbringing and instant fame at a very young age. People worshipped him and he became a little crazy... now we are throwing him under the bus? I don't really get it. But yeah, I understand these roasts are all in good fun and Bieber did a good job deflecting...
One of the funniest roasts was from MARTHA STEWART of all people... check it out
“You need to settle down, bring some balance into your life,” she said.
“Find yourself the right gal, but she’s going to have to really special, someone on your level, someone powerful and famous and rich.
“Someone you can smoke a joint with or engage in the occasional three-way.
“I’m talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom,” she said.
“So, Justin, my final piece of advice is, call me.”
Bieber was kind of a good sport... kind of... He said, "What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."
Comedian Hannibal Buress was right though... he kind of did this whole thing for the PR stunt that it ended up being.
“I’ve turned a lot of people off in the last few years,” he said. “But I know I can still put out good music and turn everything all around.”
“There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12 years old,” he said.
“I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. There were moments I am proud of. And there are moments I am disappointed with myself for. But the things I have done don’t define who I am. I am kind-hearted person who loves people. And through it all, I have lost some of my best qualities. For that, I’m sorry.”
“I am looking forward to being someone you can all be proud of,” he said. “Someone close to me once said, ‘It’s how you rise from a fall that truly defines you as a man.’ I’m excited for that challenge. And I want to say thank you for taking this journey with me.”
Fair enough, Justin. You do you, my boy. You do you.