Representatives from Marvel have confirmed the impossible (yet somehow inevitable) death of a self-described "extremely beloved, memorable, attractive, and culturally impactful bad-ass merc" known as Wade Winston Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool. While the exact cause of death has not yet been confirmed, fans and personal acquaintances from all over the world have been offering condolences via social media, but this news outlet has not received word on any formal funeral or memorial plans.
Known far and wide for more infamous deeds than actual fame, the red-and-black clad mercenary has fought against -- and alongside -- The Avengers, The X-Men, Spider-Man, and many more. His love for Mexican food knew no bounds, with chimichangas topping the list of everyday processed meats that Deadpool would likely murder hundreds in order to consume.
Deadpool leaves behind a legacy of story interruption, fourth wall smashing, and gratuitous violence. The memories are countless: Who would forget the time he impaled The Hulk in order to steal the big guy's genes and fix his own healing power? Remember when Deadpool went back in time and posed as Spider-Man? His die-hard devotion to the original Star Wars trilogy? Or that time he met Benjamin Franklin? All of these special moments are forever preserved in our history - at least until Secret Wars and Deadpool #45/#250 come out.
He did, of course, have his high points - let's not forget how Deadpool consoled and inspired Evan, a clone of the murderous Apocalypse. The kid went as far as calling Deadpool a hero for helping with his depression, and Deadpool responded by leaving nudie mags for Evan to read. A true role model.
As previously mentioned, the mercenary leaves behind a long line of distant acquaintances, most of which have not yet responded to inquiries on his passing. When questioned, the web-slinging hero Spider-Man took off immediately, leaving the media to question whether or not the on-again, off-again partnership between the two was much more than that. The following is the only statement released by the wall-crawler:
Prior to the news of the mercenary's passing, we received what seemed to be a statement enclosed in a soggy and uniquely-scented envelope. We are not publishing this message, as it was actually just a glitter bomb.
As the world mourns (and some celebrate) the passing of Deadpool, it's worth looking at his final posts on social media. These days, social media has a way of preserving the most inspiring and empowering messages left behind by famous faces, and Deadpool's final sentiment is no less heartfelt:
Deadpool is survived by his most recent wife, Shiklah, Queen of the Undead, daughter Ellie, a string of ex-wives and lovers**, and thousands of chimichangas.
**Editor's Note: Uh, actually...most of them are dead. Sorry about that...
Make sure to read DEADPOOL: DEAD, PART ONE coming out on April 8th***, 2015 to find out what happens.
***Editor's Note #2: We previously published the release date as being April 1st, which is incorrect. It's actually April 8th. While we don't want to point fingers, we'll simply say we got our original release date tip from an anonymous email that was signed, "Love, DEFINITELY NOT DEADPOOL. P.S. We should get tacos, you guys."