Hello horror fans, and welcome to the first episode of Tony's Talking Terrors, where I talk candidly with the most frightening, violent, and just plain awesome horror movie villains this side of Hell! Tonight's guest is the dedicated mother and campground deviant herself, Pamela Voorhees! The last time we saw her was in Friday The Thirteenth (1980) when she was brutally beheaded by Alice Hardy, one of the camp counselors at Camp Crystal Lake. Don't remember? NOW YOU DO. I actually had to summon Mrs. Voorhees via Ouija board, which took a few attempts. You'd be surprised how many spirits respond to "In search of woman who was beheaded to the public's amusement" down there! In any case, she stayed around long enough for me to catch up with her, and I have the transcript down below! Let's see what she had to say!
Pamela: JASON! Where is my son?! JASOOON! WHO ARE YOU AND -
Tony: Pamela, it's okay, *nervously holds hands up* Jason is okay, well, sort of. Do you know where you are?
P: Look what you've DONE TO HIM!! You will ALL PAY!! *looks around for a moment, sees my room, stops yelling*
Wait a minute, who are you again? And where exactly are we?
T: Mrs. Voorhees, my name is Tony, and you're in Canada right now. You've been dead for 35 years! Everything is OKAY. Now, can you tell me where you came from?
P: We're not at the campsite? But where... where is that girl? Where is the girl who killed my Jason?!
*It took me about twenty minutes to bring Pamela up to speed about the counselors, Jason, and his killing sprees. She was ready to talk after that little outburst.*
T: Pamela, may I call you Pamela?
P: Of course, I'm terribly sorry! I feel as though I've been sleeping a long time...
T: Now, I'm here to talk to you about some things regarding your life before. Would you be willing to open up about your last years of life?
P: *sighs wistfully* Yes, I think I am.
T: Great. Now, Pamela, tell me about the last time you saw your son. It was summer time, in the 1950's, right?
P: He was just a boy. He was my little boy. But my poor Jason was... a little different from the others. I only wanted him to have fun like the other kids could, without judgement. Without... feeling like an outcast. *a tear forms in her eye*
T: Just take your time, Pamela. This is a safe place.
P: *sniffles, then adjusts posture*
I'm alright, Tony. I just wanted him to have fun like the others. That's why I brought him to Camp Crystal Lake with me. But I was also worried for him. Children can be so cruel to each other, and it would be the first time Jason had lived away from home, so I... I came with him.
T: Pamela, take me through the moment when you found out about his drowning. How did you find out? You were working as a cook, right?
P: That's right, I was in the kitchen preparing some lunch for the children when I heard it. At first, it just sounded like kids having fun. Some screaming, some names being called out, but then Steve [Christy, the camp owner] ran to the mess hall and yelled for one of the counselors. Of course, we all ran out to see what was happening, and my first thought was of Jason.
T: You thought it was Jason right off the bat?
P: Somehow I just knew... A mother just knows, Tony. A mother knows when her child is in danger. I ran out to the lake and I just... *chokes back a tear* I just say his little arm flailing above the water before it... Before it disappeared. The other children screamed and yelled, and the counselors were running to the lake shore, but they were too late. They were all too late to save my son.
T: What happened after? Why couldn't anyone find your son?
P: *starts to grind her teeth*
The police sifted the lake for three days. They took boats and divers out and looked all over, but they never found him. I didn't see how he could survive that; Jason couldn't swim very well... My poor baby...
T: Can you tell me about why you wanted Camp Crystal Lake shut down so badly?
P: That camp is a deadly place, and it's not safe for the children they would have brought there! The counselors weren't paying enough attention to my Jason... They were making love while my son was drowning out on that God-forsaken lake! I had to make sure nobody would have to suffer like Jason did EVER again!
T: Of course, of course, that's reasonable. Did you try legal action against Mr. Christie before your, er, guerrilla tactics?
P: I went to the mayor's office to put in a complaint, I went to Steve himself, and I even tried to talk to the sheriff's department about Mr. Christie's criminal negligence, but NOBODY would listen! What else could I have done? I had a responsibility to stop that death camp from reopening! That's why I killed those kids. That's why I set the fires. That's why I had only one choice left. And you saw what happened.
T: Pamela, may I ask you some questions from other people who are interested in your case? Some folks would just like some clarification of a few things, while you're here.
P: Oh well, I suppose you could, seeing as you took the trouble to find me. Ask your questions.
T: Thank you very much. First, you said Jason was "different" from the other kids. May I ask what was different about him?
P: Of course. Jason was born with a Hydrocephalus; that is, his skull retained too much fluid and he had a bit of a swollen head. The other children would tease and torment him all through school because he looked different. He couldn't always think as well as the others, but he was so full of life. Jason was such a beautiful boy, and I loved him despite what the others thought.
T: That's good of you. You're a good mother, Pamela. (At this point, I'm just trying to make sure she doesn't kill me.)
May I ask if you were, um, using any drugs while you were pregnant? I know it was a different time, and the medical knowledge wasn't where it is now, so...
P: EXCUSE ME?!! HOW DARE YOU! (The air begins to swirl as Pamela's voice gets louder, and my room starts to shake)
T: I'm so sorry, I'm just reading the questions I've been given! Let's move on! Ha ha. *Starts to sweat*
My last question for you is probably a little bit provocative, and you don't need to answer, but to whom did you direct most of your anger after Jason's disappearance? Was there a specific counselor who received the most focused hatred?
P: *leans back, thinking for a minute about the question. Her eyes turn dark as she starts to speak angrily*
Yes, I have always blamed that Alice. Ever since I started killing Christie's new counselors, I knew she would be trouble, but to fight back so hard and to actually KILL me, that took some nerve! If I EVER come across that vermin again, I'll... I don't know, I'll kill HER!
T: If it makes you feel any better, Jason did kill her for you.
That's my good boy.
T: Is there anything you wanted to say before you go?
P: For God's sake, watch your children if they go swimming, especially if they don't know how to swim! No parent should have to go through what I did...
T: Thank you so much, Pamela, for joining me tonight, have a good trip back to the afterlife, and feel free to drop by again if you want to talk!
P: And thank you, Tony, it's been... eye-opening. If you see my son, tell him his mother loves him.
After our interview, I tried to send Mrs. Voorhees back to the afterlife, but I forgot the incantation, so I imprinted her spirit onto this article, at least until I can figure out how to send her back. If you're susceptible to possession, try not to linger too long on this article! Thanks to everyone who submitted questions, and stay tuned for my next interview with an icon of horror! Have a KILLER night! Muhuhahaha!