(This article is narrated by and in the perception of Deadpool. He breaks the fourth wall in his comic books so why not in my article?)
"So finally I am getting my own movie by the continuous efforts of all you nerdy fans. I love you man, brofist! The good thing is the director has given a green signal for me to talk in that movie and nobody is going to stitch my mouth this time. And I will have my red and black superhero costume too! Well I know it resembles that spider guy's costume but at least my movie will hopefully run if you know what I mean. Too bad Sam Riami stopped making movies for Sony. And for the best thing? I'll have a girlfriend! Yeah you read the news didn't you? All you fan boys begin your speculation!"
"Alright now don't think am boasting about myself which I actually do all the time. I just want you to know some stuff that you never knew about me. Actually the lesser known stuff because there are many articles that says the same thing over and over. I believe that you never knew these because you either got to know me through those cosplays at comic con or by the posts about me on 9gag. The author of this article is one of those disloyal fans too. But that's alright because once my movie comes out, Marvel comics will make the whole of Avengers as my sidekick and you'll all be on your knees! Just the ladies not the guys."
"Now without further ado..No! Wait for the drumbeats to get over..And..Yeah! Ten facts about the most eligible bachelor and most kickass superhero in the whole of [Marvel](channel:932254) Universe!
10. "I worked as a militant in the Canadian army before becoming a mercenary. Now stop with the jokes about Canadian army alright? You have no idea bout them. I'll make the author wrote about their glory next time to show you whom we are! Nope am not drifting away. Where was I? Yeah I served for the Canadian military for a long time and then I became a paid assassin before Doctor Who diagnosed me with Cancer! That's when I left the service and also dumped a teenage prostitute girlfriend to join the Weapon X program. I was a real partiot till then. But then I encountered some assholes and I become one too. Now you know how am skilled in wielding swords and guns and that's because am a former militant!"
9. "I am actually married to a smoking hot lady named Shiklah. Well I was on and off with many women before but my relationship status right now is "married". I even have a daughter called Eleanor Camacho and you're right! I have a family. Like you always heard and read, I was a womanizer all of my life and I guess it would be apt to fall me a pervert. If a mentally retarded disfigured guy like me can get married then why can't you? Close your PC and got out there and tell a girl her booty is great! Works like a charm."
8. "I love Taco Bell, Porn and video games. When I am not whacking the bad guys up, I spend time at home with these. I go for parties and I booze worse than Tony Stark so I guess am the most relatable superhero you know of right? That's because am one of you!"
7. "I had a relationship with Death. Yeah you read it right. Myself being an immortal suave and herself being the embodiment of mortality and death being the only way we can be together and Thanos getting jealous of it and some epic duels and chorals..those classic crossover love stories! Someone get me some tissues please.."
6. "You know Gambit right? That bloke from the X Men who never sits down to actually play cards? He once paid me off to not fight with him because he felt that fighting the Deapool is near to suicide. And that kid is going to places for the beat decision he ever took!"
5. "I once killed all your favorite literature characters. You thoughy that I stopped with killing the entire Marvel universe? Nope! Marvel released a series called "[Deadpool](movie:38663) Killustrated" where I was made to assassinate all your dear characters like The Three Musketeers, Sherlock Holmes and even Gulliver! Don't judge am am just a character. I was made to go on that kill spree by the author."
4. "To all those wondering about my morality : Ghost Rider used his penance stare n me and he went home with disappointment. If you guy don't know what it is, Penance stare is a power that the weird skull guy on fire posses which when used on a villain would make him start repenting for the sins he had committed in his life and provides the the biker a distraction. He thought I was a menace and as expected, stared at me like I offended his great ancestor. But nope! Not a single f**k was given by me. He simply turned into Johnny Blaze after that. The lesson learnt? Deadpool is a good guy who only does good deeds. Am gonna be on the cover for some children's moral stories book someday."
3. "I once killed all the presidents of the United States of America. Sounds badass right? American politics was in a state of SOS and so Necromancer made all the presidents resurrect and as always thing did not go as expected! So I teamed up with Stephen Strange and took down all the presidents who were making a hell lot of noise then. Kudos to the guy who came up with the idea!"
2. "Comparisons of me and the Wolverine are everywhere. But I am better in many ways. I can survive in space or vacuum - something the Wolverine can't do. Although I prefer to wear a suit to look cool. We both can survive a nuclear explosion but I can fix my dissected head on my neck and I once regenerated from a single cell. Now that should settle the argument. The only thing I envy though is his beard."
1. "I love chimichanga! That's right!"
"I hope you folks learnt a lot about me in this not-so-epic-but-good-to-kill-time article. You better learn a lot more than this by downloading a few comics in some torrent because I am coming to cinemas next year! And follow this creator for more updates about my movie".
Deadpool will release in theaters on February 12, 2016.