So, if you're like me, then you're a bit of a SpongeBob super-fan and you went to see the movie that recently came out, "The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water". I will admit right here and now, I was not looking forward to this movie at all. In fact, from the minute I saw the teaser poster, I felt as though this movie was going to completely suck, because the poster just looked really dumb to me (although that might have something to do with me not being a huge fan of butt jokes), and so did the trailers. So when the time came when the film finally came out, I ended up seeing it with a friend of mine just to see how bad it was... and at first, I actually didn't mind it! I actually thought it was a decent film! Not amazing, but decent!
However, a few days after the film came out, I began examining the movie a bit closer, and came to realize that the film was not as deserving of a positive review as I had once thought. In fact, there are a few things about this movie that, if I was told this by another person who saw it, would've made me think twice before seeing in the theatre... or at all, for that matter.
1. The Characters of Mr. Krabs & Sandy Are All Wrong
When I first looked online to see how Mr. Krabs and Sandy would play in the movie, and as I thought harder about what becomes of their characters throughout the movie, it almost made me go...
...because that is not how Mr. Krabs and Sandy are in the show at all! I'll give you a couple of examples. The first one is one that you saw in the first trailer, so you cannot call me out for this being a spoiler: Mr. Krabs goes up to the surface to help SpongeBob and the gang retrieve the Krabby Patty formula... instead of guarding the money at his home that the show has established is more important to him that anything! In the show, it's said that Mr. Krabs loves money more than anything. Now, you could argue that Mr. Krabs loves his cares more about his restaurant, because if not, he wouldn't keep his formula locked in a safe. However, your argument would be instantly shot down by the fact that the only reason that Mr. Krabs keeps it locked up, and the only reason Mr. Krabs loves his restaurant so much is because it's the fastest and easiest way of making money that he could come up with! He really loves money more than he does his restaurant, so you would think that keeping his dough safe and sound from a giant hoard of whack-jobs during, you know... an apocalypse!
The other problem I had was Sandy's character. More specifically, the problem that I had was this:
At the beginning of the film, we see a pirate (who's name, stupidly enough, is Burger Beard the Pirate) retrieving a book from an island, and reading it to a flock of talking seagulls. But when he reaches the end of the story, the ending page is ripped out because the birds want to hear more of the story. The page is submerged into the water, and lands on Sandy's house... and she freaks out.
The problem is though, Sandy is usually really chill, and most of all smart! Plus, you'd think having spent so much time on land, you would know what something like that would look like, and how big it is compared to your body, as well as smart enough, especially if you have stores for those things in Bikini Bottom, you would know how the typical ending to one of them would go!
The other problem that I had what how disposable Sandy becomes in the CGI parts of the movie. You saw this in the movie, and if you didn't see it in the movie, you caught a glimpse of it in the trailers. For some reason, the writers for this movie thought it would be a good idea to make it so that hen Sandy show up on land, she would look like this.
First of all, this is legitimately a little bit creepy to look at, especially when you imagine Sandy's voice coming out of that thing! Second of all, in the movie, it's shown that she can do karate and a big of other silly things, but the thing is, that's not the only talent that Sandy possesses! Sandy is much more than just a karate-chopping squirrel from Texas! She's also into Science, and is capable of inventing amazing things, like say... a metal suit! Oh, wait...
2. The Story is All Over The Place
Do you remember the times when movies had one simple plot to them, and they were one genre, and we were able to follow along with them well enough? Well, this is not one of those times. It honestly doesn't even feel all that much like a movie. If anything, it feels like the writers of the show had some episodes that they didn't know how to make work as part of the TV show, so they decided shoe-horn them into the movie!
Near the beginning, it feels like your average kids' movie, but then it turns into a war movie, and then an apocalypse movie, and then a time travel movie, and then an adventure movie, and then a superhero movie, and then back to a kids' movie again! I guess what I'm trying to say is, the movie has no idea what kind of movie it's setting itself out to be, nor does it know how to focus up and be one cohesive movie with a simple plot line!
3. The Film Is One Big Continuity Error
The main problem I had with this movie is that it suffers from the same problem that Monsters University had: it was one big error in continuity!
If you don't know what I mean when I talk about Monsters University, watch this:
I'll give you an example of this that is extremely blatant if you saw the trailers: When the characters go up to the surface, and stay out in the sunlight, they are all perfectly fine, and unscathed! What am I talking about when I say that? I'm talking about this.
When SpongeBob and Patrick are in the light for as much as 2 and a half minutes, they die from dehydration. However, when they're exposed to virtually the same amount of sunlight for 20 minutes, they are are both perfectly fine! How in the world is that supposed to work? I mean, I can see them making them impervious to dehydration when they're "writing their story" into the book, but not when they're their normal selves! Again, how does that work, exactly!
4. The Movie is Annoyingly Cheesy
I'm pretty sure when I examined this movie I found out that there are more cheesy moments in the film then there are genuinely entertaining moments! This is something that's frustrated me with family movies, because it turns them into movies made exclusively for kids, which is an even bigger issue when you're talking about a movie about something like SpongeBob SquarePants!
For all of the youngsters under the age of 12 who are watching this show, you might not actually know this, but there was actually a time when SpongeBob was a show for everyone to enjoy! There would be a fair amount of humour for kids, but there would also be moments for adults, and more than a couple moments that the entire family can laugh at! We can't say that about the show anymore, because the vast majority of the show contains either cheesy humour, gross-out humour, or humour that comes off as so stupid you wonder why the current generation is filled with so much stupidity!
This definitely rings true when you talk about The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water, because there are more cheesy/stupid moments in the film, which were things I was not particularly pleased by.
5. The Ending Is One of the Dumbest in Movie History
The ending to this movie may very well be the stupidest part of the entire film, and it goes a little something like this:
At the end of the movie, the superhero versions of SpongeBob and the gang (including Plankton, or Plank-TON (yeah, I know)) defeat Burger Beard, and Plankton gets the formula. But then, this happens: Plankton gives the formula back to Mr. Krabs and basically says, "I don't need it, because I've learned that it's not important to me anymore" or whatever the hell he says in the movie. But then, when we switch back to hand-drawn animation, Plankton is trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula again.
My problem with this ending is, it's incredibly unecessary! What was the point of going through all of the stuff that happened earlier in the CGI bits, if you were gonna end up pulling that move at the very end of film? Trick question: There was no point to it!
I will admit that this movie wasn't the most horrible, putrid, poorly-made, vile, unentertaining, disgusting excuse for a movie I've ever seen. It did have its moments for sure; there were some things that made me chuckle, if not laugh out loud, and to their credit, the hand-drawn animation was actually really good, and even the CGI was pretty decently handled as well. Would I still recommend it to many other fanatic SpongeBob purists? Here'd what I'd tell them: Go see it, but only at your own risk, and know that there will be some things that will not feel the same as what you remember from the show.