THE MUMMY RETURNS. 2001. DIRECTED BY STEPHEN SOMMERS. STARRING BRENDAN FRASER, RACHEL WEISZ, ARNOLD VOSLOO, PATRICIA VELASQUEZ, ODED FEHR, JOHN HANNAH AND DWAYNE ‘THE ROCK’ JOHNSON. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
I’ve loved this film since I saw it on the big screen back when it first came out. I don’t really remember what I was expecting from the film, but from the moment a testosterone-fuelled Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson came on-screen clad in little more than a sweaty loincloth, roaring and waving a massive sword around, I was irrevocably lost.
I was lost in the music and in the fantastic visuals and in the parade of seriously good-looking men that went about their business for a hundred and thirty minutes or so in front of my appreciative peepers.
THE MUMMY RETURNS, a sequel to the 1999 movie, THE MUMMY, is a terrific action-adventure flick with elements of horror, ie, in the Mummy itself. It’s a thoroughly enjoyable watch and I’d recommend it to anyone who likes a good old-fashioned swashbuckling romp of a film.
Now for a word or two about the plot. It’s basically a race-against-time kind of movie set in Egypt in 1933, though we flash back occasionally to ancient Egyptian times, which is great because the flashbacks are really well done.
Rick and Evie O’Connell are exploring ancient ruins in the Egyptian city of Thebes when their son Alex, a cheeky young pup if ever there was one, finds a piece of jewellery known as the Bracelet Of Anubis.
This sets off a startling chain of events that sees first Evie and then little Alex kidnapped by an Egyptian cult who have deliberately revived a certain chappie by the name of Imhotep, whom you might remember from the first film.
The Egyptian contingent want Imhotep to defeat another fellow known as The Scorpion King, enthusiastically played by ‘The Rock’ who later went on to star in the film of the same name. If Imhotep can deliver on this, he can command the armies of Anubis and take over the world, which he will rule alongside his queen, the beautiful but deadly Anck-su-namun.
This is where the Bracelet Of Anubis comes in. According to legend, little Alex, the wearer of the bracelet, has seven days to reach the Oasis of Ahm Shere or the bracelet will kill him the instant the sun’s rays hit the Scorpion King’s pyramid.
If this is allowed to happen, the Scorpion King and his army of ne’er-do-wells will awaken and all hell will essentially break loose. Imhotep and his missus want to avoid this at all costs, hell-bent as they are themselves on world domination.
There’s shenanigans galore as everyone races to Ahm Shere for the final showdown. Evie discovers that she was Princess Nefertiri in a former life, daughter of a Pharaoh and keeper of her father’s Bracelet, this famous Bracelet Of Anubis we’ve been hearing so much about.
The poisonous Anck-su-namun was also present in this life, as the Pharaoh’s wife-to-be. She and Imhotep- yep, he was there too!- had the hots for each other, however. A younger woman shackled to an older but wealthy man, casting her roving eye around for a playmate nearer her own age? That’s an original idea, haha.
Together, the duplicitous pair killed the Pharaoh but, sadly, they didn’t really think things through properly. Imhotep was put to death by the Pharaoh’s guards and Anck-su-namun committed suicide. Now, a few thousand years later, they’ve been reunited but that’s not enough for the greedy pair. They want world domination too, something they might just achieve if they can put manners on the Scorpion King.
The sets and costumes are fantastic. The film is full of atmosphere, it’s fast-moving and has enough twists and turns and snappy punchlines and one-liners to keep the viewer interested. Not just interested, but excited.
‘The Rock’ is sex-on-legs and he’s brilliant in a good, meaty action role such as The Scorpion King. Brendan Fraser is handsome, stubbly, energetic and I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating custard creams. Not even if he scoffed an entire packet in one go and started on a second.
Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay and Arnold Vosloo as The Mummy may also report to my tent for the most vigorous of… ahem… work-outs when they’ve been stripped and washed. Phwoarrr…! So many hot guys…! The film kept my interest for the entire two and a bit hours. I’m telling you, it’s a cracker. The original is a great watch too. Watch ‘em both back-to-back. That’s your Saturday night sorted.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based performance poet, novelist, film blogger, sex blogger and short story writer. She has given more than 200 performances of her comedy sex-and-relationship poems in different venues around Dublin, including The Irish Writers’ Centre, The International Bar, Toners’ Pub (Ireland’s Most Literary Pub), the Ha’penny Inn, Le Dernier Paradis at the Trinity Inn and The Strokestown Poetry Festival.
Her articles, short stories and poems have appeared in The Metro-Herald newspaper, Ireland’s Big Issues magazine, The Irish Daily Star, The Irish Daily Sun and The Boyne Berries literary journal. In August 2014, she won the ONE LOVELY BLOG award for her (lovely!) horror film review blog. She is addicted to buying books and has been known to bring home rain-washed tomes she finds on the street and give them a home.
She is the proud possessor of a pair of unfeasibly large bosoms. They have given her- and the people around her- infinite pleasure over the years. She adores the horror genre in all its forms and will swap you anything you like for Hammer Horror or JAWS memorabilia. She would also be a great person to chat to about the differences between the Director’s Cut and the Theatrical Cut of The Wicker Man. You can contact her at: