ByScott McCann, writer at
I write stuff for people to read on the internet. Occasionally play loud music in a dark room for strangers.
Scott McCann

Mr. Bond has been defying death on our screen for the past 50 years, and in most cases with relevant ease. However, in a new feature for Total Film a panel of medical experts have made some startling claims as to how the invincible James Bond, isn't really invincible at all. If the consequences of his actions had a realistic portrayal in Skyfall, James Bond would have died within 7 minutes... and it only gets worse from there!

1. 7 mins: James Bond shot in chest

Who can forget this incredible scene. As Bond fights atop a fast moving train, 'M' orders 'Miss Moneypenny' to take that ill fated shot, hurtling our hero spectacularly into the watery depths below. This sets up the tone of the film, but also would have set up an early demise for Bond! Experts explained to Total Film that being hit with the uranium grade bullet would have gruesomely 'turned his lungs inside out and killed him' and even if he did manage to live, the odds of later being diagnosed with cancer would have been enhanced significantly.

2. 12 mins: Bond falls 80m into the river below

Cinematically stunning? Yes. One of the greatest scenes in the film? Yes. Survival? Probably not. This epic stunt would have more than likely left James Bond with a severed spinal cord or broken neck. Even if he didn't die on impact, he likely would have drowned.

Uh-Oh. Incoming death.
Uh-Oh. Incoming death.

3. 31 mins: Bond performs self surgery

Ah yes, our hero has finally had enough of that pesky radioactive shrapnel still lodged in his chest. And this is James Bond, the manliest man of all men. So DIY surgery is the obvious choice over the doctors, the only problem however is that it "risks blood loss, lack of consciousness, nerve and muscle damage and the infection risk is huge." Needless to say, MoviePilot advises you not to try this at home.

Stupid shrapnel
Stupid shrapnel

4. 1hr 54mins: Fight at Skyfall estate

James Bond needs to be constantly on his toes and have his wits about him while fighting off the world's most dangerous villains. However, the stunning concluding fight sequence at the Skyfall estate would have left him without a vital sense: Hearing. The amount of grenade explosions and high powered gunshots would have left Bond with perforated eardrums. Ouch.

James Bond - 'Can you repeat that'
James Bond - 'Can you repeat that'

5. 2hrs 2mins: Bond falls and fights under the ice

Even watching this scene gave me the chills. Bond falls through the ice at his Scottish estate, along with one of Raoul Silva's henchman. A fight ensues, and our hero wins and returns to save the day. The problem? Aside from struggling for movement due to how rapidly hypothermia would have set in, experts explained that "Fighting means he would use oxygen quickly, so it’s improbable he’d get out in time."

Skyfall Opening Sequence
Skyfall Opening Sequence

So their you have it. James Bond really shouldn't have survived Skyfall, so count yourself lucky that we get to see him again later this year!

October 23, 2015 marks the return of James Bond in the next installment of the franchise, Spectre. Daniel Craig will reprise the lead role alongside a talented cast, including Christoph Waltz and Monica Bellucci. Sam Mendes is set to direct. The expert panel first offered their opinions in a feature for Total Film magazine.


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