ByJorge Rodriguez-Ramos Fdez, writer at Creators.co
Spanish bred, adopted by Germany. I like all things neat and tidy, I dislike scripts written by executive boardrooms to get the quick buck.
Jorge Rodriguez-Ramos Fdez

First and foremost, I will make clear there are only three Indiana Jones' movies... Crystal Skull doesn't count in my canon, ok?

Good.

Now to why Indiana Jones is so awesome and every male in the universe strives to be like him.

1. He is handsome

just try to say "no" to that look... I dare you
just try to say "no" to that look... I dare you

Indiana Jones is clearly a good looking guy, ( as is Harrison Ford for that matter) but in this case the point isn't exclusively related to his symmetrical features and chiseled chin. Nope, that isn't enough. Han Solo after all was played by the same actor, but his attractiveness was much more focused on women that on creating a male heteronormative epitome (more on that in my next article).

Indiana Jones got his father's eyes and his mother's ears, but added to that he got that three day stubble, that rugged look of being fit without going to the gym, those scars that show he is a survivor, those squinty eyes that show resolve and intelligence. We do not strive to look like Harrison Ford... we strive to look like Indy. And that's that! It's that natural look that makes it all work, he doesn't try to look good, but his active life and natural gifts make him look easy going and disinterested in his appearance. He looks good while seeming to not give a crap!

2. He is smart

he also likes big boards
he also likes big boards

Indy is not simply a rugged adventurer, no no... he is a university professor. Now let that sink in... not only does he look much better than you but he can also beat you in Trivial Pursuit without breaking a sweat. Indy can walk the walk and talk the talk: He speaks multiple languages, has manners and knows how to act classy. He might be wild in the great outdoors, but when he is in a classroom or a museum he knows how to behave and has all the necessary contacts at hand.

He is a respected scholar and no two-bit pencil neck geek can make fun of him, he can beat them up intellectually as well as physically.

3. He has cash

Not even 1 IKEA thing
Not even 1 IKEA thing

We don't get too much information throughout the movies about how much cash Indy has, but from the few hints we get it seems he is, at the very least, quite well off. He has a big house filled up with furniture and decoration that doesn't seem cheap at all. He also travels the world pretty often in a time where there were no low cost airlines and he seems to always have enough in his sock to just go around spending months in the wild without having to worry about expenses.

Indy isn't rich, but he has exactly the right amount of money: Enough to not be worried about its excess or its defect.

4. Women want him

"..what? right now? there's corpses here Elsa..."
"..what? right now? there's corpses here Elsa..."

Indy is a chick magnet, and let's face it, every heterosexual male in the world would like to be one too. Even if we wouldn't act on it we would love to know, deep in our hearts, that every girl we cross a glance with secretly wants to get it on with us.

The difference is that you and I, dear reader, have to accept this will never happen to us. Indiana Jones, on the other hand has every woman that crosses his path panting for him. He might be too busy adventuring to get them all Pokemon style, but that brings us to my last point.

5. He is a frickin' adventurer

Just a normal work day
Just a normal work day

Indiana Jones has had more adventures in a slow day than the rest of us mere mortals will have in our lifetime. He's seen things people wouldn't believe, luckily his memories won't be lost like tears in rain, he has three movies (yes three, again Crystal Skull doesn't count) depicting just some of his life adventures, many more are mentioned in one part or another.

Don't we all fantasise about going on wild adventures, saving the whole town/world, getting the idol/grial/mcguffin and getting the girl(s)? We do, at least from the comfort of our sofa. In real life we would be dead by the first third of the movie and that is all part of Indy's appeal.

He is not a character, he is an archetype

The same way greek Gods and heroes, medieval knights, and modern day comic heroes, Indiana Jones isn't a believable character, he is just a conglomerate of all the fantasies about ourselves we would like to make real. He is a beacon of all that is good and true in manliness, and as such, I salute you Indy!

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