This weekend I was at my in-laws and while my father-in-law ordered a few parts so we could fix his car and my car, I was talking to my brother-in-law about some of the things that we've seen on Moviepilot: rumors, contests, etc. etc. And while we were talking about contests, I was surfing the site and noticed the newest contest "Plan a day with your favorite Mark Wahlberg character", so we started talking about it and thinking about the movies he had been in. The whole time my 2.5 year old son is sitting there on the computer chair watching Curious George, I think, and he's just laughing to himself and talking and then he tried to get my attention, and it took me a minute to understand what he was saying, then I knew exactly what my contest entry would be about. Let me set the stage with this video:
So my choice of Mark Wahlberg characters will be John Bennett, from Ted.
John Bennett is one of those guys that anyone could sit down and have a cup of coffee or a beer with, and that is how we would begin our day together, the cup of coffee that is.
We'd start off the day relaxing and just telling dumb jokes and talking about the world and everything from: local politics to genetic toxicology and it's impact on third-world countries suffering from pesticide exposure, mainly soybean workers.
Then We'd realize that we don't know anything about either of those so we'd have a conversation like this:
Me: So what do you think we should do today?
John: F*** me! I don't know, what do you think?
Me: We should go hang out with Flash Gordon.
John: H*** Yeah! Death to Ming! Lets go!!
We race out of John's apartment and hop in the car and drive off soon realizing that Flash Gordon moved back to Hollywood and shares an apartment with Brandon Routh.
John pulls over and starts to cry on the inside as he had been imagining the above scene.
Me: Hey John, what about if we go hit the batting cages instead?
John: Yeah.... It's not like hanging out with Flash Gordon, but I think that'll do.
John drives off again heading towards the cages. We make a quick stop at the park first to grab a hotdog and to people watch first, pointing out all the dumb things we see.
After we eat our hotdogs we jump back in the car and drive to the batting cages. We hit a few before John stops and says:
John: Man, what the f***?! I don't know who you are! What are we doing here?
Me: Jeez, calm down. I'm just imagining a day with my favorite Mark Wahlberg character.
John: Who the f*** is Mark Wahlberg?
Me: You are, John. You're really just a fictional character created by Seth McFarland for a movie about a teddy bear that is magically wished to life when you were 8 years old.
John: You're sh**ing me!?
Me: Nope. I'm all serious. One man to another, this is serious.
John: Whoa... So, you're telling me that my whole life isn't real?
John sits down as it all sinks in. Except he doesn't notice that he sits down on the middle of the plate and the next baseball drills him in the side of the head. He falls over and I turn his cage off, I go over and see that he's still breathing so I wait for him to come to.
John: What just happened?
Me: You got hit with a baseball. You were out for a couple hours.
John: Mother-f***ing automated pitching machine!!
Me: Chill out John, it didn't do it on purpose.
John: *mutters under his breath* I'm gonna kick it's a** if it tries anything like that again.
Me: How about we go do something else now...
John: Sure. Fine. Whatever. *still muttering*
We leave the batting cages and decide that it's time to go grab some food. We get back in the car and drive off.
John: What do you want to eat?
Me: I don't know... Maybe we should just open our own restaurant so we never have this problem.
John: It'd be Italian.
Me: Italian would be amazing!
John: Chopped salad half price.
Me: Yeah, and it's non-restricted.
John: Yeah. wait, whaddaya mean?
Me: Anyone can come.
John: Of course.
Me: So, are we going to get Italian?
John: H*** yeah!
We hit the restaurant and take the food home, deciding that we should have a movie marathon. All because of what we saw on the menu.
John: Dude, I still don't know you but check this out!
Me: We've been over this.. but okay, you did get hit with a baseball so I'll cut you some slack. What?
John: They have f***ing spaghetti and meatballs.
Me: Yeah, it is an Italian restaurant. That's not surprising.
John: We should go home and watch Meatballs the movie
Me: We should go back and watch all the Meatballs movies.
So back to the apartment we went, Spaghetti in tow. We toss the first movie in and relive all our memories of watching Bill Murray as Tripper when we were younger.
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So there we leave my day with Mark Wahlberg - eating Spaghetti and Meatballs watching Meatballs the movie.