ByJ Thomas Westvold, writer at
J Thomas Westvold

A lot of people are looking forward to this movie, as am I. But I want the public to be aware about what they are getting into with this new film. So without any further delays, here are seven reasons why [Jurassic World](movie:32752) is going to suck:

1) This is an indirect continuation of the original trilogy.

Without any original characters except for Dr. Henry Wu. This is more of a spin-off movie than a direct sequel. It has been 22 years since the first movie and 14 years since the third. Think about how much more knowledge we have discovered on dinosaurs since then. A full on reboot would have opened the door to more scientifically accurate dinosaurs, yet because it wants to be part of the continuity of the first three films we have to suffer through 22 years of intended misuse of dinosaurs, making this film nothing more than an over-glorified monster flick that is as much outdated as any early depictions of dinosaurs during the golden years of Hollywood.

2) All the dinosaurs are freaking gray!

There was a variety of colorful dinosaurs in the past films, nothing bright or vibrant, but each new film gave the creatures more color, and tried to be more accurate. But I guess photoshop broke during production and now everything is gray!

3) The dino-hybrids are a poor marketing scheme to get viewers into the seats.

A full on reboot with a good story and scientifically accurate dinosaurs would have brought plenty of people into the theatre. But no they had to resort to a gimmick used in just about every horror franchise out there. Keep it simple. Remember what happened once Jaws got a fourth film? That was awful! I predict this will be about the same.

4) The inaccuracies continue into new realms.

They give us prehistoric animals that aren't dinosaurs, with no explanation that they are not dinosaurs (just like the previous films did with pterosaurs). The main one being mosasaurus, and they made that creature over 600 times larger than it actually was!

5) The technology is too far out there.

The first film was more grounded in reality by using the most sophisticated computers of its time and using regular off road vehicles commonly found in the early 1990s. But now in 2015 they show technology far beyond what 2015 is capable of, making this a retro-futuristic sci-fi horror flick. Those films tend not to do very well (Unless it takes place in space).

6) They are continuing outdated theories.

The theory that you could extract and replicate dinosaur DNA from an insect trapped in amber has been discredited. Yet because this is a continuation of the Jurassic Park cinematic universe established in 1993, it will obviously continue with the work left behind by InGen. A reboot would more-or-less describe how birds are dinosaurs and how dinosaur genome can be rearranged and replicated by genetically modifying birds and the only other living archosaurs: crocodilians.

7) It's going to be more CGI than practical effects.

Not only are practical effects at a minimal from what we've seen and with the dinosaurs being mostly CGI, but the vehicles and scenery uses heavy CG imagery. This would make the film look so fake that it will make the original from 22 years ago seem more realistic than ever before!

I do hope that this film is moderately successful. Not enough to continue the franchise in its current state, but be enough of a flop to push Universal Studios to reboot the franchise towards a more scientifically accurate depiction of dinosaurs. And no I don't expect a documentary, but come on Hollywood please stop giving us the same monster movie over and over again.


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