ByTyler Sparks, writer at
Founder of I chew glass and shit highballs. I like booze, I like horror, I write boozy reviews about horror.
Tyler Sparks

Officer Lou Garou has run afoul of more bottles than actual criminals in his tenure as town sheriff, but when things get a little...hairy...he literally rises to the challenge, in more ways than one (I'm talkin genitalia people)


Opens with a scene many of us are ALL too familiar with. Hungover as original sin, some random ratchet in bed that probably seemed a helluva lot hotter by the bar room light, empty booze bottles everywhere, Lou Garou downs the dregs of a stray beer and piles himself ass first into his precariously parked police car. Another day on the job.

Right off the bat we're clued into arguably the most important plot points - an upcoming mayoral election, and "LIQUOR DONUTS! - What more could you ask for?" Not much, hoss. Not much.

Shortly thereafter we meet (in order): crazy gun nut Willy, the comedic relief; Jessica, hot bartender with bestial predilections, and the Bad Boy Gang Leader, played by none other than Jesse Moss - who you'll know from such brilliant films as Tucker and Dale vs Evil and Ginger Snaps!

Honestly, with such a silly plot and cheese tastic film in general I'm impressed they went through so much work building a back story. Normally I'd say it's useless, but it does go a long way to building the character of Lou Garou, and actually engenders the affable drunk to the reader.

Definitely just coffee in that cup. Definitely.
Definitely just coffee in that cup. Definitely.

So lets catch up - town drunk is also the sheriff, wakes up one morning remembering even less than he usually does (with a badass satanic chest piece to boot) and slowly discovers he's been turned into a werewolf - though for what purpose he has yet to discover. In the meantime, main man Lou Garou (Leo Fafard) uses his new found abilities to hunt down and exterminate the criminal element in his beloved town of Woodhaven.

Unfortunately, when the other shoe drops, Lou discovers that this town harbors a deep and dark secret that will take every last drop of booze and ounce of Wolfey power to stop.



Well, yeah, there's some bare breasts. They feel a bit like obligatory 'hey pubescent males have some uncovered boobage' but there's tits. So, yay. I won't spoil the only uncovered bosoms on the bill by posting 'em here tho - you want porn kiddies, you're already on the internet.

Go ahead, open an 'incognito window' and fap away. I'll wait.
Go ahead, open an 'incognito window' and fap away. I'll wait.


Lets talk about that jaw dropping transformation. Putting a Werewolf movie together, the one and ONLY thing you absolutely have GOT to get right is the transformation - and writer/director Lowell Dean did not disappoint. I mean, have you ever seen a wolf the changes manhood first?

On top of that, the creature costume is pretty damn stellar, and the gore kicks ass, in all its low budget glory.


Retro rhythmic rocket sauce - awesome! Seriously, a perfect fit.


Ya know, its not often that a movie comes across my desk seemingly MADE for the Horribly Hooched crew - but WolfCop sure as shit stained sheets on a sadly sober Sunday following a soused Saturday fits our bill to the T. Whatever that phrase means.

WolfCop is absolutely exactly what you expect. Its a retro throwback with a modern drunken spin. There's an epic car building montage, puns aplenty, and tons of alcohol fueled sex and violence. On top of that, there's a pretty well thought out and put together story.

Seriously, forget the haters, this is a damn decent movie. And in a genre that's generally very difficult to nail, no less - the oft sought after and infrequently accomplished retro horror comedy throwback creature feature.

"I know what you're thinking, and I approve"

TL;DR 8.5/10 Alcoholic, washed up cop turned booze swilling, babe drilling, ass kicking Werewolf? You bet your bewildered and bed ridden baby mama you wanna check this one out!


Original article here

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