Where we last saw Detective Terry Hoitz, he just wrapped up an international ponzi scheme, was recently married to Francine and just received vital information from Derek Jeter about his next big case. Well it's time to pick up where he left off all the way back in 2010. Detective Hoitz and Gamble are now going after Killister Bank CEO Carl Bachand who just stole $3 billion in TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) funds. But the two have their hands full with Bachand having Blackwater mercenaries in his payroll and is supposedly linked to all the controversies that surrounds the the multinational investment banking firm, Goldman Sachs. With such a huge case, it's time to let the Gator out of his cage and let the peacock fly into a majestic rainbow. And I just happen to be lucky enough that the peacock let me under his wing, let the investigation begin!
At the precinct: Despite bringing down Roger Wesley and his attempt to steal from the Police Pension Fund, there is still debate over which detective duo will fill the shoes of Danson and Highsmith. With the constant bickering between Hoitz/Gamble and Martin/Fosse, Hoitz makes a bet that we will wrap up the rest of the Bachand case in the next 24 hours (definitely chasing waterfalls on this one). With such a time crunch on solving this case, Hoitz thinks that the best course of action is to get more information from the source: Derek Jeter.
Tracking Jeter: Being the celebrity playboy that he is, and the fact that Hoitz is banned from Yankee Stadium for shooting him, we decide the best way to find him is through his old girlfriends. After interviews with Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel, and Minka Kelly (all of whom inexplicably flirt with Gamble) we finally find out that he is hiding out in his home in Marlboro, NJ. We get to his house to find him having dinner with his girlfriend, Hannah Davis. Jeter fills us in on the rest of his investigation into Bachand and his Blackwater mercenaries. Jeter's intel all points back to Ershon and his company's connections. As Hoitz tries to determine what our next move is, Jeter walks into the kitchen to find Hannah all over Gamble. In a fit of rage, Jeter grabs one of his bats and chases us out.
Bailing Out Ershon: Based on the info we managed to get from Jeter before he kicked us out, Gamble and Hoitz come to the conclusion that there is only one way to draw out Bachand: David Ershon. On the way back to the precinct, Gamble uses an old associate of his pimping days to pull some strings and get Ershon back up to New York. Captain Mauch wasn't too thrilled with the idea however....
Captain Mauch: Find a different way to bring them down. Ershon is off the table!
Hoitz: Come on, Cap! This is the only way! I swear we're not chasing waterfalls on this one!
Captain Mauch: Bringing out a criminal to catch a criminal is out of the question. This isn't television. Look for the bare necessities. The simple bare necessities.
Me: Should we forget about our worries and a strife, too?
Captain Mauch: I don't understand...
Gamble: Really? The bare necessities? First the TLC quotes and now you're onto Disney movies?
Captain Mauch: Gamble, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. Now go out and find a new lead. I don't want to hear anything more about Ershon.
Unfortunately, informing the Captain that we were going to use Ershon as bait was more of a formality. We leave his office, hop in the car and head to an airfield from where Ershon is waiting to be picked up.
Falling for the Trap: When we get to the private airfield, all hell breaks loose. The Blackwater mercenaries Jeter warned us about begin firing at Ershon in an assassination attempt. Gamble and Hoitz shoot it out with them while Hoitz claims that they are Somali Pirates trying to use the plane to smuggle drugs. I run in and extract Ershon from the crossfire. Ershon shows his gratitude by offering me a zen water with mango extract and tickets to the next Superbowl for saving him. We drive off and end up in a high speed chase out of the airfield. After using some master manuevering from his hours of Grand Theft Auto to elude our attackers, Gamble accidentally crashes into Carmelo Anthony's wedding, effectively ruining the ceremony.
Getting Kicked off the Case/Going Undercover: After the debauchery that was our operation, DA Radford kicks us off the case and gives it to Martin and Fosse to finish. Upset and furious, Hoitz suggests we all retreat back to the Gamble household, hoping Sheila will lift his spirits. To our surprise, Captain Mauch visits Gamble's house the next morning with new information:
Captain Mauch: Listen fellas. I'm sorry for what happened to you. But with the DA coming into my office for the second time in a year, my hands were tied.
Hoitz: What are you doing here, Captain?
Captain Mauch: I'm here because I need you three to go off the radar on this one. I pulled some extra files after what went down yesterday. And I think you guys are the only ones who can connect the dots.
Hoitz: They're trying to make that new form of blue meth! I knew it!
Captain Mauch: No! This isn't Breaking Bad. Just take a look at these.
Hoitz: (Looks over the files) You know what this means right?
Captain Mauch: Yup. It's a whole new world. A new fantastic point of view.
Me: Okay, stop. Now you HAVE to know that's from Aladdin!
Captain Mauch: I don't associate myself with terrorists... Look, I can't be here much longer. Just be careful out there you guys. Always let your conscious be your guide.
Gamble: And that's from Pinocchio! Come on, Captain! Stop doing this to us!
With the new information and 5 hours left in the 24 hour bet, we don't waste anytime in going after the real criminal.
Taking Down Lendl Global: When Lendl Global said "We are in everything," they meant it; and we're not just talking about oil, media and health care. The information that Captain Gene gives us shows that Bachand was being used as a fall guy (the $3 billion he "stole" was actually received by Lendle Global through some back channel wire transfers) and that Lendl Global was actually paying for the mercenaries to act as decoys to their real scheme: getting the government to bail them out despite not losing their money in the first place. It appears that Lendl Global used Ershon to funnel the $32 billion "loss" into off shore accounts. And with the addition information surrendered by Roger Wesley in a plea bargain for a shorter sentence, it was clear that the real criminal in the whole grand scheme of things was CEO Pamela Boardman. And she would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for us meddling kids...
Partying Terry Hoitz Style: Even after all the traveling, shoot outs, gorgeous women, car crashes, baseball bats, a ruined wedding, solving the case and not sleeping in the past 24 hours, it wouldn't be a mission accomplished if it didn't end with a Terry Hoitz banger. When he says you're in for some serious drinking with Terry Hoitz, he wasn't lying.
The night starts off with us crashing the wrap party of the most recent season of America's Next Top Model. Hoitz gets into a sing off against Josh Groban and surprisingly wins. When I ask him about it, he says that he was classically trained so that he could make fun of the scholarship kids from Julliard. We all celebrate with bottle service of Glengoolie Scotch and Snake Juice and watch Gamble get into a fight with a little person who he insists is Peter Dinklage. I find myself in a dance battle with the Jabbawockeez while Gamble and Hoitz attempt to DJ. And the last thing I can remember is security attempting to escort us out after we all fire off a "club pop."
There you have it! The craziness that a day with Detective Terry Hoitz could be. Hope you enjoyed my mini-movie plot. Let me know what you think in the comments!