ByTj Smith, writer at

Late Night With J. Jonah Jameson

Announcer: "Ladies and Gentlemen we are coming to you live from the debut episode of Late Night with J. Jonah Jameson and here's your host J. Jonah Jameson."

(Crowd applause as JJ takes the stage.)

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the NEW Late Night, so I don't know if you heard or not but i'm taking over this show because I retired and sold The Daily Bugle."


"Yeah I tried to enjoy my new found freedom, but then I remembered why i spent so much time at work i'm married."

Crowd OOOOOing

"My wife introduced me to this thing that might be a bigger menace then the wall crawler.... a honey do list."

Crowd laughing

"She got painting the bathroom, wallpapering the bedroom, and don't get me started on the yard work."

Random chuckles

"When she asked me to build a bird bath and a gazebo I knew i had made a mistake and I couldn't wait til i got the callback from the network telling me they had finalized the deal and here I am today."


"Let's see what else is going on in the world today ... oh you may have heard scientist have completed a study this week, a very interesting one at that scientist believe they have finally figured out why the Hulk is so angry yeah amazing right."

"Turns out it has nothing to do with gamma radiation or the fact that people run in terror at the sight of him. Know let me give you a small bit of background info, Dr. Bruce Banner is an average size man 5'7", 5'8" in height and about 180 pounds."

"And once the change takes place the Hulk is about 7'0" 350 pounds, but... but the interesting part of this is that once he Hulks out everything expands and grows except for one key aspect of his anatomy."

"You ever wonder why all his clothes tear off but he never splits his pants, let me put it this way the first time Betty told Hulk to smash she wasn't talking about pounding Hydra."

Crowd laughing

"Alright that's enough of that, tonight we have a special show planned for you, Our guest include the mighty Asgardian Avenger Thor."


"The beautiful psychic ninja Psylocke of the X-Men will be here to talk about her recent misadventures with the Sisterhood."


"And last but not least the controversial political leader of the Friends of Humanity Grayden Creed."

Mixed reaction Applause

"Okay time to pay the bills we will be right back after a word from our sponsors."

To Be Continued...


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