ByDavid McDermott, writer at
TV Reviews with a Scottish flair...which is code for moaning a lot. Find more of my stuff at
David McDermott

[South Park](series:200459) over the years has done many things very well, however the area which the show excels in the most is with its celebrity parodies. Unlike shows like The Simpsons where a famous person makes an appearance and your eyes roll so hard they change color, South Park makes their appearances count and certainly in the early days very rarely fucked it up.

To make a top 10 for a show which has had so many episodes where each has had a selection of different parodies makes it pretty hard; however with many hairs lost and keyboards broken I managed just that. Sadly, many great people had to be let off the list so here are a handful who I felt deserved an honorable mention: Ben Affleck/Assleck, David Blaine, Barbra/Mecha Streisand, Kanye ‘Fishsticks’ West, Tom ‘I’m not gay’ Cruise and Charles ‘Charlie’ Manson.

Now on to the good shit.

10. Paris Hilton

Generally when you see Pairs Hilton on your TV screen it is a negative thing, however when South Park rolled her out in the episode "Stupid Spoiled Whore," it was a thing of joy. South Park holds no punches as they straight up call her a stupid spoiled whore, which - along with being accurate - is pretty damn funny in itself. Then we have the little things like Paris being sloshed, constantly coughing up semen and having pets who would rather commit suicide than spend another moment with her (something we can all agree with). Paris sees her demise when she enters a whore off with Mr. Slave who shoves her (and her pineapple) up his arse, although it may have been more apt if she had been shoved up her own arse, she seems to spend enough time up there anyway.

9. Rosie O’Donnell

The huge bulbous monstrosity, Rosie O’Donnell made an appearance when Cartman joined together with his Dawson Creek trapper keeper in the conveniently named episode "Trapper Keeper." The episode also included Bill Cosby (not the one who likes date rape) as the hero of the piece, but in reality it was Rosie who saved the day as she was absorbed by the trapper keeper blob (although maybe it was the other way around, nobody could truly be certain), which made it sick and allowed it to be destroyed, once again Rosie O’Donnell had saved the world.

8. John Edward

I’m not certain what a John Edward is but what I have derived from South Park is that he is the biggest douche in the universe (episode of same name), the first ever winner from Earth, which is quite remarkable, no surprise then that he received his very own South Park episode. Tackling issues like cold reading and pschicdiddlydoos, South Park delivered John Edward to a whole new market and allowed more people to see his truly…unique(?)…psychic…abilities…hm…

7. Phil Collins

I find this hilarious. They centered an entire episode ("Timmy 2000") around slagging off Phil Collins because he beat them to the Oscar (travesty that it was). It’s ridiculous, he isn’t anything like Phil Collins but that’s what makes it all the funnier. Naturally it is heavily (like hit with a spade in the face heavily) emphasized that Phil Collins is mentally disabled, as he walks around carrying his Oscar and shouting in the most ridiculous accent you’ve ever heard, so ridiculous it is quite brilliant. The episode ends with everyone remembering that Phil Collins sucks (drugs were involved previously) and shoving his shiny Oscar up his arse, as you do.

6. Rob Reiner

If you were to build a fat bald man from the ground up you would build Rob Reiner. Reiner showed up in the episode "Butt Out" where he leads an anti-smoking campaign through the use of fear and distortion. Clearly Rob sounds like a stand-up guy who is really only doing what’s best for the world and if that requires killing kids to prove a point then I think we can all agree with that. Rob is also portrayed as being somewhat of a sex symbol as he rubs himself with butter and shows his belly off for all the ladies while also eating some cheeseburgers, showing that he isn’t one of those anorexic Hollywood stars, something we could all aspire to. Sadly, Rob was drained of all his delicious goo at the conclusion of the episode which had everyone in tears as a true hero was stricken down.

5. Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's appearance on South Park
Michael Jackson's appearance on South Park

Michael Jackson has shown up a few times in South Park but his first appearance was in "The Jefferson" (I’m ignoring the rest of the shit which came afterwards). Michael Jackson plays an eccentric millionaire but with a twist, this time he is playing an eccentric millionaire with a moustache! Michael dresses up as Peter Pan, has child parties and goes to a slumber party, quite the adventure really. Sadly for Michael, the police are out to get him (because you know what cops are like) and his face begins to fall apart because he stood to near a candle or something. In the end, Michael ends up with no money which is very resemblant of real life, and who said South Park was unrealistic?

4. Al Gore

I’m super cereal. Al Gore appears in numerous episodes, but his best showing is in ManBearPig where he leads the search for the dangerous creature ManBearPig (half man half bear half pig). Climate change is a big issue and Al Gore tackled it like only he can, with gusto! Gore is as ridiculous as he is in real life, wearing his trusty cape (gifted by Hilary Clinton, I believe) and educating the planet on sciencey issues. Yes, Al is a little special, but his performances on South Park are a thing to behold. Excelsior!

3. Russell Crowe

Making movies makin' songs 'n fightin' round the world! The episode the "New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer" isn’t really about Russell Crowe, but his smattering appearances are perfect. Russell and his good pal Tugger go around the world beating up people in what sounds like the best television show ever. It is essentially a nature show but imagine if David Attenborough beat the penguins up instead of observing them and then sang songs. Russell gets into fights with some people on a pier, Chinese people (who can grow to over 5ft tall), Indians, minorities in Brooklyn, his editor (who is a testicle), some doctor, and cancer. Best of all, we get a happy ending as Tugger recovers from his accidental suicide attempt and once again finds old Wall-E-Bee. "Tugger’s whistles blowin', means we must be goin', no more Russell Crowein' for you, but now don’t you start to whine, I’ll see you again next time, because there’s plenty of more fightin' left to do! Hooray!"

2. Mel Gibson

Yes Mel Gibson is crazy, but damn he knows plot. Gibson shows up in the Passion of the Jew where Stan and Kenny steal $18 from him and all he really wanted in return was them to torture him a little, which sounds like a bargain to me. Gibson is a fan of the trend of only wearing your y-fronts, (something which is very popular in Europe, I’m told), he also loves it when people twist his nipples (although who doesn’t like that?). In the end, Gibson shits all over Cartman’s face and skips around South Park with not a care in a world, what a guy and what an accurate depiction.

1. Saddam Hussein

Could it be anyone else? Saddam is constantly showing up in South Park. He took over Canada on two separate occasions (you would think after the first time you’d realize Canada is smelly), dated Satan, leading to the American-Canadian war, was a jealous ex-boyfriend of Satan’s and created a chocolate chip factory in heaven with the help of Mormons... he really has done it all. We don’t know why, but Saddam has the appearance of a Canadian with his floppy head and silly moustache. One can only assume that all along Saddam was in fact a Canadian dictating over hell and Iraq. If South Park is a reliable source (which it probably is) there is no wonder Bush and Blair were so desperate to get shot of him, even Satan thought he was a bad guy.

There it is, the top ten celebrity parodies in South Park. It was a tough list to crack but these ten were the best of the best and sit atop the pantheon of South Park folklore. No doubt there will be people who disagree with the list but there are only two ways to vent your fury…you could write and send me a well formed letter about the disgrace of leaving somebody off the list, or alternatively you could just leave a comment…one of them is probably more effective than the other.

If South Park top tens are your cup of tea, then why not check out the 10 greatest episodes of South Park?

Best of all, if you loved the content or even if you thought it was a level below shit you can find more of this mediocre content by checking out my Facebook and Twitter pages, or check out my blog, it may well be the first step in the path to righteousness.

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