NSFW Warning: Some of the following content contains sexually explicit subject matter and profanity.
99% of the time, a customer's experience of Disney World is, quite aptly, magical. Of course, this is no accident. It's the result of the tireless hard work done by Disney's truly exceptional employees, whose job it is to solve any and all problems that may erupt within the park's walls.
As you can imagine, the bizarre breadth of sights the average Disney World employee will encounter is immense! To prove it, Reddit user smokeymctokerson asked these staff members one simple question: 'Employees of Disney, what is the craziest thing you've seen happen in the park?'
The post elicited over 8000 responses, detailing every insane encounter from botched blow jobs to public break ups and violent bust ups. These are some of the craziest tales from the Disney insiders who've seen it all...
A Code 'Pooh' Emergency by in_the_vortex
Some quick, inventive thinking from this employee is needed to save a half naked child from his own pile of feces...
I worked at Club Disney for the brief time it was open. We had codes we used on the radio headsets that were coordinated with character names. For instance, code Baloo meant there was blood that needed to be cleaned up immediately.
One day, I’m taking a stroll around the club to check on things when I spot a small boy about two years old taking a massive dump right in the middle of the play area. He sees me, starts to cry, and runs away with no clothing on the lower half of his body.
I get on the radio and can’t think of what to say as we hadn’t discussed a code for “human feces in the play area and naked kid running around.” So I just called, “I have a code Pooh situation in the play area and Piglet’s on the loose.”
The Most Ferocious of Fathers by monorail_pilot
The moral of this story? Don't punch 12-year-old girls, especially when her dad is present and built like a brick shithouse...
As my name implies, I work at WDW as a Cast Member. There are a lot of crazy things I’d rather not get in to, but the worst was one night during the fireworks exit, we had a bunch of twenty year olds being dumb asses on the resort platform.
They start punching each other in the arms, being the usual pricks to each other. One of them ended up missing his friend and cold clocking a 12 year old girl. 12 year old girls dad had to be 6′ 4″ and 320 pounds. And built. I mean really built.
It took 4 security guards and 2 orange county deputies to pull the guy off the bloody pulp that remained of the kid. His friend ended up jumping into the bushes to get away from one seriously angry father.
Payback Time by Azov237
A wronged husband chooses the perfect, opportune time to reveal his wife's unfaithfulness.
I was working in the kitchen at Cinderella’s castle when this family of 4 came in for their dinner. About half way through the dinner the husband politely stands up and taps his glass for attention.
He announced that his wife of 15 years has been cheating in him for over a year. The entire place stood still in shock. He motioned for his kids paid the waitress and left the wife crying at the table.
Watch Your Mouth by O7Knight7O
No matter where you are, or what language you're speaking, someone will always be on hand to call you out for your rudeness...
Not a cast member, but I witnessed a cast member do this: I was in line at Disney Land California with a group of Japanese teenage tourists were ahead of me in line. I speak Japanese, so I could understand that they were making fun of Americans.
They were mostly saying things to the effect of “On TV they seem so cool, but all of these Americans are so fat and ugly.” They were laughing and even occasionally pointing at people. I was just staying quiet but then one of the cast members who evidently also spoke Japanese walked up to them and told them in perfect Japanese “You guys should really be careful, most Americans can speak Japanese.”
They all froze up and looked around at people, many of whom were giving them dirty looks. I nodded at them like I was backing him up, and they were horrified. They all left the line promptly afterward.
A Grad Night To Remember by steakandasideofsteak
A blowjob goes horribly and gruesomely wrong...
Grad nite 2007: I was walking out of the space mountain breakroom, and saw one of my guy friends at the then “Honey I shrunk the audience” look like he was about to vomit, and one of my girl friends who was laughing hysterically.
Apparently in the dark of the theater, some girl decided this would be a good time to go down on her boyfriend. Little did she know, about halfway into the show, one of the effects is this little tube that comes wiggling out of the seat to simulate mice running by your legs.
This hit her throat, she bit down, and he was bleeding pretty profusely. A grad nite to remember!
The Make-A-Wish Hater by broken_long_thumbkey
A particularly inconsiderate park patron complains about, of all things, a child on a Make-a-Wish trip skipping lines:
My brother-in-law worked there in the student program. I don’t remember what attraction it was for, but he said a little boy from Make-a-Wish got to go to the front of every line. This one lady saw it, and bitched so loud about how this little trash kid didn’t deserve to cut in lines and a bunch of other bullshit. He described the look on the boy’s parent’s faces as nothing but nightmarish heartbreaking shit.
He told the lady to get out of line and stop being such a bitch, explained that the kid was with Make-A-Wish. She apparently didn’t care, and asked for a manager. Bitches to manager. She is banned from WDW. My brother-in-law almost lost his job right there due to all of the commotion that was caused.
Big Willy Style by DorothyGaleEsq
Willy the well-endowed elephant lives up to his namesake...
Late to the party, but I was a safari driver at the Kilimanjaro safari attraction in Animal Kingdom. We had this elephant named Willy. Willy was an exhibitionist.
I was driving a safari one day, spewing out facts about Elephants when I hear a tiny voice from the back of tge truck yell: MOOOOM! HE HAS FIVE LEGS!!! I turn, and sure enough, there’s Willy, standing with his five foot long dick just swaying in the Florida breeze. I had to turn my mic off, I was laughing so hard.
A Barf Bath by atheistpiece
Okay, so puke stories may not be the most sophisticated of tales, but they sure are funny!
One day, a kid had ate a bunch of pasta with marinara and then promptly threw it all up right in front of the entrance to Big Thunder Mountain. It was a huge pile of watery barf, easily 2 feet wide and 3 feet long.
So we called custodial, and set up a couple of trash cans to do our best to block the area off so people couldn't step in it.
This dude, wearing all white (white shirt, shorts, shoes) comes running down the path from the exit of the ride to try and get back into the line as soon as he can. We tried to yell at him to stop running, but it was too late.
He thought he would be a super cool guy and jump between the trash cans. He didn't count on there being a river of barf. So he jumps, lands in the barf and his legs slip out from under him, and he falls/rolls into all the red marinara barf. It took him a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened, but he eventually let out a blood curdling scream.