Hey there movie fans! It's your friendly neighborhood Tony here with another kickass list! Today, we're tackling a subject that is often discussed and rarely put into practice by the big-wigs: SPIN-OFFS! We've all seen that T.V. show that was SUPER cool with great characters and killer stories, but sometimes there's a character or sub-plot we wish would get its own threshing-out on the small screen. Sometimes they work, like Frasier or J.A.G., and sometimes they're total wrecks, but this is a list for the ideal world. This is the list for the alternate universe where spin-offs are ALWAYS awesome and I'm already a best-selling author and screenwriter. A man can dream, right? Without further ado, let's start this off right! Also, as per usual, I'm gonna spoil the hell out of some cool shows, so:
#6: King of the Hill (1997 - 2010)
Our first spin-off would come from the HYSTERICAL Mike Judge joint, King of the Hill. This show had all the elements of an awesome animated series. Hank Hill is the ultimate vendor of PROPANE AND PROPANE ACCESSORIES. The tale of his middle-class Texan family is always relatable, rife with the hilarious misunderstandings and happenings of the every-man, and full of excellent characters, but no single character was more ridiculously entertaining than Hank's high school buddy, JEFF BOOMHAUER! Boomhauer is the quick talking, lady seducing, oft-unintelligible neighbor of our Propane Hero, and he always has something to spew from that Texan mouth, capped off with an "I tell ya what." He's also a TEXAS FREAKING RANGER! I know they only reveal this in the series finale, but how cool would it be to see him driving around, pulling people over and just witnessing the daily doings of a semi-crazed Southern man? All I'm asking for is a pilot, Mike Judge. Somebody share this to his Facebook so he can do it. Boomhauer: Texas Ranger would be epic. Just sayin'.
#5: The Walking Dead (2010 - Present)
No, not THIS SPIN-OFF! I know, I know, they're already doing one, and it looks WICKED, so why am I trying to shove more The Walking Dead goodness down your throats?! You're about to find out! Tee-hee! I'm gonna spoil the first season and a little of the third, so if you somehow call yourself a fan of this show and haven't seen up until the half-season finale of Season 3, GET ON IT, MAN!!! Ready? Alright, remember how Daryl Dixon's racist bro Merle got chained to a pipe and then CUT HIS DAMN HAND OFF to escape?! We never see what happens in the eight months between his self-amputation and his reveal at Woodbury, but I WANNA SEE THAT! Merle is badass, and although he's an asshole, it would be excellent to have a Walking Dead spin-off that centers on a ruthless hick with pretty much no morals!
Don't even tell me you wouldn't want to see Merle roughing it with a stump, mutilating walkers and wrecking people's shit when they crossed paths! Plus, I want to witness the design process for his cool bayonet prosthetic. Let's get even more Dixon action going, even if it's just for a season or two! Merle the Maniac could be SIIIIIIIICK!
#4: Bates Motel (2013 - Present)
"Oh great, now he's gonna defile a prequel series!"
Silence, haters! We need to talk about Norman. Well, actually, we need to talk about his brother, Dylan Basset.
The 22-year old half-sibling of the insane young Mr. Bates is in the employ of the Wilson crime family, a pack of wolves on the hunt for their enemies and only competition of the rival Ford family. These formidable foes prove to be more than a little trouble for Dylan and the crew, but the history of violence between the two criminal clans has been going on for decades! Nick Ford, the enigmatic leader of the Ford gang, has an especially interesting story to tell regarding his back story! Y'know what this prequel series needs? A PREQUEL TO THE PREQUEL! Let's explore the origins of the two major families of White Pine Bay! Let's see what happened to turn Nick Ford into such a force to be reckoned with! Let's see the relationship between Jodi and Zane Morgan as they grew up in such a dangerous town, under the care of the other most deadly man in the state! Blood Pine Bay: Morgan vs. Ford seems like a righteous prequel to this already-successful origin story!
#3: Friends (1994 - 2004)
Let's talk sitcom spin-offs! I think it's safe to say that Friends is one of the most influential shows of the '90's, and the crazy antics these not-so-young adults get into is usually pretty damn funny. Between Chandler's TERRIBLE JOKES and every character's complete ineptitude when it comes to normal social behavior AND parenting, there's some quality material here. However, above all, my favorite character is DEFINITELY Joey. His entry is always heralded by his iconic "How you doin'?!" catchphrase, and the man knows how to get the ladies.
So why isn't there a Joey-centric show yet?! Can we please time-travel to 1997 and set this up?! I think the world NEEDS Joey Tribbiani's ridiculousness WAY MORE than they need Ross and Rachel's drama. No drama, no bullshit, just the funny life and times of Joey and the weird shit he'll get into. I may have missed the boat on this one, but if someone has some spare Plutonium let's fire up the DeLorean and get back to the '90's for this zany spin-off!
#2: How I Met Your Mother (2005 - 2014)
The runner-up for my spin-off list is in VERY CLOSE contention with the top spot, and for good reason. There are few things I like more than kicking back and watching How I Met Your Mother, especially the first four seasons. However, there was one thing the consistently bugged me about that excellent and drawn-out show: I HATED Ted! Sorry Schmosby, but your constant state of melancholy really put a damper on the humor of the show. I get it, it's his story about finding his wife and everything, but my idea of a spin-off is more like what I WISH the show had been!
BARNEY "LEGEN-WAIT-FOR-IT-DARY" STINSON! The enigmatic millionaire who hangs out with the gang (for some reason??) and gets ALL the ladies with his hair-brained schemes, he's the PERFECT character to base a show around. In a number of episodes, I found myself wondering why the show wasn't called How I Met Barney with all his wild antics. From disguises to a 300'' T.V., this man has everything he needs, with the exception of stable emotions, and I could easily watch him go about his daily crazy business! Also, this gives us the chance to answer the biggest question of all: WHAT DOES HE DO FOR A FREAKING LIVING?! This has some great potential, folks. All we need is that time machine so we can wind the clocks back to 2008 and start that show! I don't care who Ted's wife is! I wanna see more of Barney Stinson: Unleashed!
So what's number one?!!
#1: Game of Thrones (2011 - Present)
FINALLY the Game of Thrones entry!! There are a billion reasons why you should watch this show! The characters are amazing, and there are TONS of them. There are probably 8 different stories going on simultaneously, and pretty much all of them are enthralling and exciting! Also, NO CHARACTER IS SAFE! That makes the show a most harrowing experience, and sometimes emotional too. R.I.P. LIKE EVERY CHARACTER I THINK IS COOL!! Is anyone else finding it hard to like characters after all the brutal deaths of fan-favorites so far?! Anyway, as I collect myself, the real reason I called you all here for this meeting is to discuss the new retcon spin-off series that SOMEONE should be making! Now, there are a ton of cool storylines we could explore here. Rhaegar Targaryen vs. Robert Baratheon. Or even a Barristan Selmy story about his time as a freaking BADASS when he was younger? I think the one we're begging for the most though, is this:
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the BEST SPIN-OFF EVER would be Arya and The Hound (Sandor Clegane) roaming the countryside, wrecking fools as they go, and doing that hilarious banter that they do. Think about it. The two seasons we DID get of them hanging out (Well, okay, technically Arya was the Hound's captive, but who's counting?) were AWESOME! They're like a pair of buddy-cop-knight-whatever-fugitives, and their bickering is hilarious. I'm hereby retconning The Hound's death (Seriously, I warned you about spoilers!) and petitioning that this be a spin-off! Go bug HBO with that idea!
Well folks, that about wraps it up for this entry! I'm in exam season at school right now, so that's why I've been away for almost a week, but fear not! Exams are almost vanquished, and then I can get back to writing like a madman! Let me know down below what you want to read about next, thanks for checking this out, don't forget to look me up at moviepilot.com/TonyAnnounces , and as always, have a KILLER day! Muhuhahaha!