Most of us grew up watching the hilarious TV shows and films offered to us by Nickelodeon. I am currently in my mid-twenties and I still to this day cannot pass by a house without saying "Stoop kid's afraid to leave his stoop!", I can't help but imitate Spongebob's high-pitched laugh more often than I'd like to admit, and I find myself wishing Doug's favorite band The Beets actually existed.
As a child, all subtle hints revealing underlying themes tend to fly way over our heads. But now that a majority of us are adults, and hopefully much more astute, the subtext tends to hit us right in the face. And we immediately think "HOW DID I MISS THAT AS A KID?" Well, probably because we were kids.
Below is a list of insane theories about a bunch of our favorite cartoons that we were practically raised on. And I warn you: you will never think of them the same way ever again.
1. Hey Arnold! And His Football Head.
The already unfortunate orphan Arnold, who lived with his kooky yet loving grandparents, was lamentably nicknamed "Football Head," especially by Helga Pataki. According to the theory, Arnold's grandparents are actually his real parents who were too psychologically damaged to tell him the truth.
The medical answer behind his unusual head shape has to do with the fact that Arnold has a disease called hydrocephalus, which causes a expansion of water in the brain and also increases head size. This is also called Arnold Chiari syndrome...which would explain why his name is Arnold.
On top of all this misfortune, his supposed "friends" are actually imaginary and also have misshapen heads to help him cope with his issue. Does anybody else feel insanely melancholy and heavy now?
2. Bikini Bottom = Bikini Atoll?
As happy-go-lucky as Spongebob and his friends may seem (except for maybe Squidward), the story of Spongebob is as dark as hell. During the late 40s and 50s, nuclear testing was on forefront at the Bikini Atoll. And since they live beneath the atoll, they call that area Bikini Bottom.
Apparently, Spongebob and the rest of the characters are actually a result of radiation, which makes sense if you think about it. A living sponge? A squid who is also a talented musician? Yep, there's something fishy there, no pun intended.
3. Doug Funnie Sees Past Race And Into Color
Ever wondered why every character is Doug is a different color? I'm not talking African American, Caucasian, Asian, Native American, and so forth. Why is it some characters are purple, yellow, orange, white, teal, and pink?
This theory claims that when Doug writes in his journal every night about his friends, he is actually colorblind and assigns random colors to each peer for whatever crazy reason. It doesn't appear as if any colors pertaining to any character refers to a specific personality trait or even race.
The world must be a beautiful, vibrant place for Doug.
[Source: Doug Funnies Journal]
4. Delusional Angelica's Baby Friends
Angelica is actually a child that has experienced a pressing amount of death at too young an age, and the only way she could cope was by pretending the people surrounding her were still alive.
Chuckie and his mother died, which explains why Chaz is consistently an anxious worrywart. Tommy was a stillborn, which caused Stu to obsess over making toys in the painful memory of his dead son. And finally, the DeVilles had an abortion before the sex of the baby was known, and therefore invented the twins in her brain.
The final part of the theory claims that Dil is the only Rugrat that isn't a figment of Angelica's imagination. When Angelica hit Dil for the inability to cease his crying and disappear when she wanted him to, he suffered from a brain hemorrhage, which caused him to become deformed. In All Grown Up, Dil is treated as a pariah, and is taunted for his unusual personality.
5. Rocko's Perverted Life
As a kid, this show would constantly send me into a fit of giggles as Rocko's wacky antics were hilariously ridiculous. But I have never really realized just how dirty the show was until I read up on some of the examples.
Rocko and Hefer always ate at a restaurant called "Chokey Chicken" which had to be changed to "Chewey Chicken.
When Rocko lost his job at Kinda-Alot-O-Comics, he began to work at a sex hotline as a phone operator.
Filbert cross-dressed in a multitude of episodes, and Hefer's father, who was a wolf, would spot Rocko and say "let's eat the beaver," clearly a reference to something else we all refer to as a beaver.
Who knew there was so much darkness and anguish hidden beneath the silly, cartoony surface of these kid-friendly animated shows?
I now crave an evening of cookies, milk, pajamas, complete with some Rugrats All Grown Up or even some Rocko's Modern World. Perhaps I'll figure out a theory of my own.