ByCindy Ramirez, writer at
20 something movie lover with passion for sci-fi and pop culture in every way. Let's talk about TV, movies, books, graphic novels and more!
Cindy Ramirez

For me, at the moment, the answer to that question is, NO.

I have been watching [Grey's Anatomy](tag:200746) for 11 seasons, 10 years, millions of minutes that I've invested here. I have cried from the start, suffered at the hardest moments and walked away after every episode with a lesson that would make me stronger. And... Why?

Because it gave me hope.

I have always been a romantic, and even in the darkest moments this show has always made me feel a little bit of hope. Hope knowing that even in the darkest moments, Derek and Meredith would find a way to move forward and grow together. Hope that love like this, like in the movies, passionate, selfless and wonderful could be a real thing. Hope for a happy ending.

This McRomance was unique in every way, it was not only "guy meets a girl in a bar", it was a match meant to be. Made for each other. And now ... is over.

Life is not fair, you can work hard, do what you are supposed to do, be better than the rest, and still; it never guarantees a happy ending for you. Death is at every corner.

I have to admit, I don't handle (fictional) death as good as one can expect. I wasn't ready for when Mark and Lexie left, I felt George's demise was poorly executed, and now I think that McDreamy deserved more, a more heroic way to die. But then again, his death was real.

For those of you hiding under a rock, or not on Twitter at all (or not interested in Grey's Anatomy) the last night was a sad one.

With the shocking departure of one of America's most beloved characters, Grey's Anatomy is not only saying goodbye to Derek Shepherd, he's saying goodbye to millions of sad, depressed and insulted fangirls (like me) who stood up behind this show for all it's 11 seasons, fans who feel like this characters are their families. Fans that would watch ever single member of the cast and would have been able to say goodbye to them, if Mer and Der could've been together in the end.

But after this shocking death, I'm not sure I'll be able to move forward with watching Grey's Anatomy.

So, I've written this letter to let my favorite show know that I need a break from the emotional trauma that is causing me every week. Our relationship shifted last night, and I'm not sure we'll be able to carry on.

I think that is a terrible decision that I have to make, and I'm not sure about the future of me and this show. Grey's we've had 11 wonderful seasons, and I will always cherish the happiness, sadness and excitement you gave me on each one of our previous episodes. But now, with this latest development (killing Derek Shepherd) I think that we need some time off. Maybe I'll see you again in the fall, but for the time being, this is the last I want to hear from you.

Next stages: Binge watch every episode where Derek was a rock star "Is a beautiful day to save lives".

Patrick Dempsey in Grey's Anatomy
Patrick Dempsey in Grey's Anatomy

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