ByRyan Hyde, writer at
Need a stoner's oppinion on anything comic book related? Of course you don't but give these a read anyways!
Ryan Hyde

Now, a couple of months ago I couldn't go anywhere on the internet without seeing something about Toy Story 4, nearly my whole damn Facebook feed was people just losing their God damn minds over the news. I, on the other hand was nothing short of sickened by the news, now before you lose your marbles, I am a huge Toy Story fan (Toy Story 3 still makes me cry!) But the news of Toy Story 4 honestly made me concerned, not for Disney necessarily, but concerned for us, and how Disney sees us. My first thought was does Disney really think we (paying viewers) will go see continuous, recycled, lets say bulls#!%. Now I love Toy Story and I'm sure the movie will be very touching, but it will always be a place we have been before, and that was the best part about Disney right? Going to new worlds beyond Andy's toy riddled room.

When, I came up with the title for this article (well lets be honest here, this is a rant not an article.) I knew there would be some people out there who feel Hollywood is a well oiled machine that is producing so many exciting movies (damn, that Hollywood is so hot right now!) But in all honesty Hollywood went from trend setter to trend snatcher. The studios are becoming nothing more than click bate, willing to find any popular story, book, or real life event and run that [email protected]# to the ground. Studios have become so consumed with striking that ever so popular hot iron, that they couldn't give less of a whoot about the quality of these films. Putting out half-finished or poor quality films has just become a regular, cash grabbing habit for these studios. Now I can go on for days complaining about whatever the hell Percy Jackson was, or hundreds of other movies that studios should feel ashamed for (which of course they're not!) Instead i'm going to shift my inner rage towards my fandom, superhero movies.

Crazy, that is the best word to describe the superhero genre in Hollywood today. Profits are up! Demand is even higher! Do not believe me? There are 50 plus superhero movies coming out in the next five years alone! In theory this actually sounds like a way better Hollywood, but in reality it is just way to much of a good thing. We are dangerously close to twenty if not more superhero movies a year, and that is assuming Fox and Sony give up, which I can only hope happens (gotta have a dream right?) If Marvel and DC released two movies a day out of their 2017 movie slate it would last longer than all of Black History Month, and only 3 of those heroes would be black (sorry that's a cheap shot at Marvel and DC, and no offense Falcon, Cyborg and Black Panther.) But seriously we can not let Marvels half-assed attempts to make a black superhero go unnoticed, seriously taking the Falcon and rehashing him into the Captain America suit is one of the worst ideas since She-Hulk. Is it just too hard to create a brand new hero now? I speak for only myself on this, but i'm fairly confident that comic readers would have appreciated a brand new character rather than killing off a loved Superhero just to have someone replace him.

Personally, I am a huge comic book fan, I was just as ecstatic as the next guy when they released DC and Marvel's movie slate through 2020. I grew up with these characters, right at the age I stopped wanting to read comics the X-Men movie came out, refueled my love for comics and I haven't looked back since. I've been waiting, anticipating the day when we would finally have a Marvel vs. DC battle for the box office. Unfortunately instead of it being like Christmas morning, this experience is starting to feel like that first grocery store trip you had when you first moved out, and you were like oh sh!$ my mom isn't here to tell me what to get! So you go and get Dorritos and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and it sounds like a fantastic idea until Wednesday comes and you've eaten only Dorritos and Cinnamon Toast Crunch all week. In short, come 2020 there will be a superhero movie every week during the summer. But that's not really the part that angers me, the worst part of all this is we will only be dealing with Marvel and DC characters (the majority of which will probably be rehashed every 4 years.) Now there are thousands of comic book characters but if you follow recent events of what studios are doing, you can easily suggest that we will only really see a handful of superheros and "different takes" of that superhero (which is just a malarkey excuse for a reboot.)

REBOOT! REBOOT! REBOOT! I imagine there is a Las Vegas style neon sign that says those words in every studio's office. It used to be something funny, once a month while hanging out with my friends I could crack a joke like "YES! Guys The Equalizer is getting remade into a movie! Whose excited?" It was hilarious, because who in their right mind would get excited for an Equalizer movie? That's beyond the point, but its no longer funny just this morning they confirmed an Equalizer sequel is in the works. A sequel to a copy of a copy (now that's something only Hollywood could [email protected]#$^&! pull off.) I'm assuming one day everybody who worked for Disney and all these other major studios woke up and said "I could finish this story i'm working on, or find some movie or show nobody gave a single [email protected]#$ about twenty years ago and modernize it." I just assumed this of course but I'm willing to bet i'm not to far off. This lack of creativity is even starting to effect all the movies we get from our beloved superhero franchises. If you ever need a good laugh just go look at all the Ideas Sony came up with before selling half of Spidey's rights back to Marvel. I'm serious they tried out the idea of a solo Gwen Stacey movie (Holy Moses! Could you imagine if they did, it would be a laugh riot) they even thought about a Aunt May spin off (yes, that's real, I wasted 10 minutes of my life reading about it when it leaked.) These are also all ideas for a franchise they just rebooted seven years after their last trilogy! Its insanity! Sony what are you doing, you made every single mistake in The Amazing Spider-man 2, as you did in Spider-Man 3 (which is the movie that made them reboot the series!!) It's not just Sony, 20th Century Fox is having the same problems! Currently Fox is scripting X-Men movies to cancel out previous X-Men movies. Even DC is falling victim to these horrible attempts at originality, Suicide Squad will be introducing 5 new characters to the DCU (all these characters will be making cinematic debuts.) Sounds like a great thing right? Well not really DC made David Ayer rewrite half the script to fit in the Clown Prince himself the Joker. This is just going to take everything amazing about these 5 new characters and immediately cast a shadow over them by adding the Joker. There is no in between here people you are either excited or upset when it comes to the news of the new Joker. Personally, I believe Jared Leto will do a fantastic job as the Joker, but just a year ago I was telling everyone I know (well all who would listen) that Hollywood would never attempt to reintroduce the Joker. It's only been seven years and we are already getting a new Joker, and in a movie that honestly he has no right being in. The DCU is introducing new villains and then taking away that spark of that new flame by adding the Joker.

Now, you have probably read this far into this article and have the same thought i'm sure most have when I have this conversation with them, what the [email protected]#$ is your point to all of this? If there is a point to any of my rambling its that somewhere out there in this country or world there is a man or women with stories. Yes stories and ideas that are original and great! The problem is Hollywood is whoring themselves out to unoriginal rehashed bullsh!$. So the point of this article is in hopes of reaching those talented and creative people who might think its pointless to try and make their art. These artist need to know that there are more people out there who will accept their original ideas, trust me, bad original ideas are better than all these recycled movies. Also the point of our "Ongoing Failures In Hollywood" articles our (well originally before I went a little off the rails) to point out the cliche cycle of repedidness Hollywood is headed towards, if not already there.

That, last paragraph may sound like i'm anti superheros or only want movies titled "Coffee Theater" or something trash along those lines. All i'm saying is the superhero genre has fallen victim to same problem most of Hollywood has, lack of originality. There is always one burning question in the back of my mind, why must superhero movies originate from comics? Disney and Warner Brothers spend top dollar on screenwriters to only adapt comics. It leaves me baffled that the studios can not hire these writers to make an original superhero story. If you need evidence for that statement go watch a little movie called "Chronicle" this movie was not only original in almost every way possible, it was also acclaimed on almost every level. I'm not against superhero movies originating from comics but just angered by the fact that no one has even tried to make anything like Chronicle. Ill take this with a grain of salt obviously for every Chronicle we would get some terrible movie, but at least it would be progress. While i'm on this topic kinda, why must logic and all physics go out the window in superhero movies? Since it is a fictional story, it should most importantly have logic, physics, gravity and common sense (or am I the only one thinking this?) Just don't get me started on shared universe's, Studios have taken a good thing in shared universe's and already ran it to the ground before it has even started. Fox already confirmed that the Fantastic Four will be teaming up with X-Men in the future. In case you did not know (fox were looking at you) both of the Fantastic Four and X-Men our already team ups on their own! Were gonna save that for another rainy day though!

Now, I am not outraged by Hollywood cashing in and trying to strike the hot iron, I am outraged by the lack of originality, the lack of quality movies, as someone who has written and appreciates original art! Just look at Disney, I'm starting to think maybe us (movie viewers) our like those pushover parents you see on intervention (the ones who are oblivious to their kids actions) Disney is our child, and Disney's drug is Live Action movies. You may think i'm joking but I am serious, expect every week for at minimum another year or two (who am I kidding its gonna last a lot longer than that) for Disney to announce some terrible live action remake. Viewers flocked to see Cinderella (insert resting [email protected]#$ face emoji) thus making Disney see dollar signs, more dollar signs, and even far beyond those they saw a [email protected]#$ load of more dollar signs. You can not put Disney at fault for all of this though, you have to put the majority of the blame on the general public. Yes, the general public (including myself) should be ashamed! Hollywood is treating us like we are an artless brain dead society, and i'm starting to blame them less for it. The general public is just going through the motions and not questioning these multi-million dollar budgeted movies. THIS IS WHY TRANSFORMERS 4 WAS THE HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE IN 2014!! That's scary people, that sentence should prove to everyone reading that we are truly losing our art, this is a serious cultural problem in America. We are doing nothing short of dumbing down our art, and making it substantially harder for true artist to get funding. I know what you are probably saying, but this is just movies, that does not represent all of art (and you're correct!) Movies are just my background, I can make an argument that artistically music has gone to complete [email protected]#%, the music industry is just jamming whatever they choose down our throats, repeatedly, that before we even have a chance to decide if we like it, we are used to it and singing along! But back to the movies, it should concern all of us that Disney has bought out Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars. Now, for the first couple of years it will most likely be a good thing (episode VII looks, lets say spectacular) but after that first couple of years it will only get worse. Expect to see a biblical sized amount of merchandise, books, TV shows, spin-off movies, cartoons etc..( that is just Star Wars.) Disney, you are gonna make me sick of something I love, i'm begging you slow down! Even Pixar the poster child of originality in Hollywood is falling victim! So I guess if our beloved Pixar is now becoming a cash grabbing whore, then we are all [email protected]#$%.

From, a financial stand point I get it, you are a business and businesses need to make money. Although I will say that you can be a well profitable business without being a flat out whore. You can be a money making business without using some semblance of creativity, like you are now! This is why Transformers is making billions and true artist can not get funding. If you want to be a business that forces out half finished movies with the facade of any artistic qualities, than that's okay! You just have to get rid of all awards involving movies, and replace them with "box-office'ies" that just award studios on their ground breaking box office sales. There you go Vin Diesel all your hard work on the Fast & Furious franchise will finally pay off! All i'm saying is studios are refusing to let their creators have any form of creativity, the only reason we have a Christopher Nolan or David Fincher is some studio took the bold choice to let their creative people be creative! The MCU can still be worth billions if you let the people you hire be creative with these characters, whose to say any of there movies have to arrive from comics? Just look at what Christopher Nolan did with The Dark Knight, he maybe referenced some comic book gestures here and there but that story is far from the comics!

Honestly, I have no idea how to close this article/rant, I guess I really never do know how to. So, I shall give you guys just another quick example of the horrible things Hollywood is doing. Currently as I type this 20th Century Fox is in town filming directly behind me (using our parking spots, because work was not painful enough!) They are currently doing some re-shoots of a movie titled "Paper Towns" (another lovely book to movie adaption.) Now my problem isn't with the movie being a book to movie, although I am, my problem is they're doing re-shoots 2 months before the movie comes out. I know, I know, movies do re-shoots all the time, but really Fox you couldn't get the straight book to movie adaptation right you had to come back and ruin my parking situation all week? Sorry that is just a personal problem but you can get my point (at least I hope so!) Also, i'm pretty sure they have been stealing my internet which is why it has taken me two days to post this (definitely not the marijuana distraction!) Now i'm sure after reading this you will most likely go click on review of The Avengers, and it will be some guy giving it a 9.5 talking about how it blew his socks off or what not. Just hear me out all these MCU movies are starting to feel the same am I wrong on this? The score, the cinematography, the dialogue, the dramatics..etc. So exactly how long until we get sick of seeing these movies? or even worse we feel like its our obligation to go pay and see these movies? I could be wrong on all of this and we could get an amazing balance of comic book, and original superhero movies (but, i'm pretty confident that will never happen!) Or we will just continuously get our big bag of buttery popcorn, turn our brains on auto pilot, sit back and watch the big old fashioned apocalyptic porn these studios keep producing (shouts out Birdman on that quote!)

Oh, quick side note go see Ex Machina if you want to see a movie that will really knock your socks off! Oh, and apologies to those my foul language may offend (I get passionate sometimes!) Also I was going to initially add some pictures but I feel like that would take away from my angry-ness in this post (and I couldn't really find any pictures to fit my emotions.) Don't forget to let us know if you want original superhero stories or if you only care for the comics, and comment below if you are angered by Hollywood as well and want us to do more Ongoing Failures In Hollywood articles.. or not, both work for me!


Would you rather see more comic book adaptions or more original superhero movies?


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