ByKyle Allen, writer at

Other movies i've reviewed I don't know where to start because I have good things to say but not a place to start. With "Into the Woods," however, i'm not sure where to start for all the wrong reasons. Guess I might as well start with story, sense that seems to be working.

The story revolves around a single kingdom in which several grim fairy tales originate including Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood, and Rapunzel. All the stories intertwine when each of the characters enter the forest. Meanwhile, a couple that runs a bakery shop wishes to have a child but can't because of a curse set on them by a nearby witch. The only way to undo the curse is by giving the witch different items from the different tales. The goal of the couple is to retrieve the items from the different tales to undo the witch's curse so they can have a child of their own. Now I won't lie, it's an interesting concept. Just very, very, very, VERY poorly executed.

So first of all the movie is in the style of a musical. Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate musicals. I'm a musician myself. But the music from this movie is more than just annoying, it's completely unbearable. I couldn't find a single key change in the movie and the entire movie is a single song with only 2 variations. This might seem like a good idea, but if you shove the same song down my throat for 115 minutes, then at least let there be this little thing called variation.

Oh but trust me, the music isn't the only thing that stinks worse than canned chicken.

The acting seems simpily redundant and, dare I say, repulsive. Even with all the big name actors/actresses, there are moments that I feel like i'm watching a project casted by a kindergarden teacher. The only actually good moments I can find are when Johnny Depp enters the scene as "The Wolf."

Speaking of which, I know his character sings about wanting to feast on the child, but I can't help but mentioning that he sounds and acts like a complete child molester. Excuse me for saying it, but almost everyone in this movie seems like they have some sort of a mental condition.

Speaking of mental states, I spent half the movie confused. Different characters have certain motives at one second which then change without any sort of event to alter said attitude. Call it poorly written script or story, either way the movie suffers largely.

But it's not even me who finds this movie challenging to watch. I've collected the opinions of several different viewers and I kid you not, not a single good thing to say. Even the cast described this movie as a challenge, and i'm pretty sure not in a good way.

I could go on forever about any one of these topics but I'll leave it at this: unless your willing to test your mental endurance stay away from "Into the Woods."

I would say this film is worthy of canned chicken, but not even it's disgustingness can match this abomination of this film. People say "better than Sci-fi" or "still a better love story than twilight," but I think that we've seen a new standard set about how bad films can truly get.

Now if you'll execuse me, I'm going to restore the purity of my soul that is now tainted by this film with some Pitch Perfect. At least I can stand Anna Kendrick their.


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