Chapter 1: Awakening
He opened his eyes. He sat up and looked around. His memory was foggy. There was something about a party, an accident, he couldn't remember. Wait! There was a name! Howie? No, that can't be right. Wart? Nope, that's not it either. Howard! That was his name!
Howard was confused. Where was he? Who was he, besides just "Howard"? And most of all, what was he? He looked around. He was in a dark room. Lots of tables were sprawled across it. It was wet too. Wires and other gadgets were poorly connected to the walls. It looked like a lab of some sort. Then Howard made the mistake of looking down. All he saw was orange.
Howard screamed. What was this orange thing?! And why did it move when he screamed?! Howard leaped off of the table he was on and landed in what felt like a puddle of water. He bent over and saw something very unusual, which is a hard status to meet if you don't remember anything but can automatically identify something as unusual. From the reflection, Howard saw that his body was short, feathery and bird-like. He was wearing a suit and tie, which was also unusual. His mouth, however, looked like a beak of some sort. But with teeth. And his feet were the same color as his beak, except these feet were more like flippers.
"What the hell?!" Howard the duck exclaimed in a surprisingly nasally voice.
"Is...is someone there?" Came a deeper voice from across the room.
Howard spotted a moving figure by the distant wall and sprinted towards the figure as fast as his flippers would take him. When he reached the wall, he found something almost as strange as his own appearance. There stood a a horse-looking creature in a full suit of armor. A helmet sat on his head with wings across it and a red cape dangled from his shoulders.
"Who are you?" Howard asked, even more confused now.
"I...I believe my name is Bill," the horse replied, still confused, "who are you?"
"Howard, I believe," said Howard, "But I also believe that I'm a duck."
The two shook hands, or wings, or hooves, or whatever one makes more sense, and tried to find a way out of the room. After eventually finding a door, they walked out onto a strange, dark, vast purple wasteland. They looked at the building in which they had left to find that it was only a small one-room building with absolutely nothing around it. Hoping to find some answers and knowing that they would find none of it in that building, Howard and Bill walked across the wastelands.
As they walked, they told each other about themselves. This only lasted about 30 seconds as neither of them knew anything about themselves. In fact, Bill managed to tell more to Howard about Howard than Howard even knew about himself. And vice versa. Once they had finished describing each specific detail of their appearance, which Bill found to be much quicker for Howard as Howard was only half of his height, they began discussing possible scenarios for what the hell was going on.
They both tried coming up with possible scenarios for why they were there. Bill guessed that they were just born from there, somehow with an already pre-conceived knowledge of the universe planted into their brains by someone. Howard hypothesized that they were just the only two people on Earth and that he was set as the handsome being, whereas Bill was the opposite.
After what felt like countless hours of walking, Howard persisted on calling their journey off for the day (it was actually only about an hour and a half, Howard was just being lazy). Bill tried to argue, saying that they need to keep moving. Howard replied to Bill's argument with a middle feather. From there, Howard laid down on a soft mound of dirt on the ground, tucked his feathery hands beneath his head and closed his eyes. Bill sighed in resignment and laid down next to Bill. Within minutes, both were already asleep.
Howard opened his eyes, confused. Again. It felt as though the ground was moving. He also felt a very slow but steady breeze on his feathers, as if he were walking. He slowly moved his body up and looked around. Yes, he was certainly moving. It appeared as though he was sitting on something. Quietly, Howard nudged Bill.
"Begone, fire demons," Bill uttered in his sleep, "Back away from the mighty Beta Ray B-"
Bill's eyes suddenly opened once he realized that it was Howard who touched him. Bill too sat up and looked around, confused. The "dirt" they were sitting on, after a closer look, felt and appeared more like a dirt colored fur. It was as if they were sitting on a moving ball of fur. Howard then realized how stupid that theory was and started to put two and two together. Both Howard and Bill slowly turned their backs to face behind them, in the direction the "ball of fur" was moving. There they saw a large blue antenna with two blue spokes extending from it that had a bolt of electricity shooting from one bolt to another. At the bottom of this antenna was the head of a very large bull dog.
"What in God's name is -" Howard started.
Suddenly, the dog stopped moving and it turned its head towards the two animals sitting on its back.
"Aaaugh!" screamed Howard.
"Aaaugh!" screamed Bill.
"Aaaugh!" screamed the bull dog.
Howard and Bill suddenly fell to the ground flat on their bottoms. Without a sound, the dog had disappeared.
Chapter 2: The Search for Answers
Bill and Howard stayed sitting on the ground, confused. Where did the dog go? How did he disappear? What was that thing on his head? How was he so big? Suddenly, the dog reappeared about twenty feet in front of them. The dog took in two big sniffs and his eyes turned completely black. It was an enormous dog, too. He must have been at least six feet in height, and probably close to twice than in length.
The bull dog howled and stormed towards Howard and Bill, who ran from the dog as fast as they could. It let out numerous ear-ringing barks as it chased the duo, nearing closer and closer to them. Howard could feel the dog's slobber hitting him in the back of the neck as he ran. By the time the dog was only about two feet behind them, Howard knew it was the end.
Out of nowhere, a star-shaped aircraft zipped from the sky and flew right in front of Howard and Bill who, knowing they had no other options, leaped into the opened hatch. The hatch closed behind them, leaving the dog behind. The ship went full blast ahead at speeds that would easily break the speedometer on even the fanciest of sports cars. Two men in strange, blue uniforms with helmets confronted Bill and Howard. Both men had guns pointed which they pointed at the duo.
"Who are you?" asked one of the men.
"How the hell should I know?" replied Howard snappishly, "I was hoping you could tell us."
"We are lost and confused," Bill said in a calmer tone, " We don't know who were are, where were are or where we came from. We know nothing but our names and that he looks like a duck whereas I look like what Howard refers to as a horse in rags."
The men lowered their weapons and invited Howard and Bill into the cockpit of their ship. After Howard and Bill finished explaining all that they knew, the two men informed them of how they found them and where they were taking them. They were patrolling guards and received a distress signal that was triggered by their screams, so they went to investigate and saw Howard and Bill being chased by an enormous dog. They decided to rescue them.
The men then explained where they were going. The two men were part of the Nova Corps, or the "intergalactic space cops" was the term they used to make it simpler for Howard. They were taking them back to their home planet of Xandar to help them figure out who they were and what they could do. Howard sat in his seat for the remainder of the journey and watched the stars pass by as the ship traveled through space to Xandar.
Upon arriving on Xandar, Howard and Bill were immediately taken to one of the planet's top doctors. From there, an examination of their anatomy was taken. The doctor found that there were mechanical implantations put into each of their bodies. After a thorough X-ray examination of each Howard and Bill, it was discovered that their bodies were bionically engineered combining both mechanical and biological parts to make an animal-like body. Their brains, however, seemed to be cloned organs, taken from the DNA of other presumably deceased organisms, thus explaining their prior knowledge but difficulty in recalling the past.
With this new knowledge, Howard and Bill were escorted to the library in an attempt to learn more about how the new form of creating a being originated and who could have done it. With the help of many curious doctors and the assistance from a few of the Nova Corps, Howard and Bill dove into the research. Howard, to his own surprise, was able to understand many of the mechanical aspects of the mechanical aspects of the research when Bill had difficulty grasping it. Howard continued to dive into research, temporarily casting aside his snarky attitude to try to solve the riddle surrounding his confusing life.
Thousands of miles away, the bull dog still sat on the abandoned planet where he was left. He stared into the sky, trying to think. Thinking was difficult for him, but he soon managed to gain some focus. The vision of the duck and the horse reoccurred through his brain. He sniffed. He sniffed harder. He knew where he needed to go. Taking a deep breath, the dog teleported across the sky from point to point, each point no more than a mile away from the previous one. He began his journey through space to where the scent of Howard the Duck came from.
Chapter 3: Getting Nowhere
They had found nothing. Two weeks with absolutely nothing. No new research was discovered. There had been zero recordings of whatever Howard and Bill were and zero recordings of anyone even trying to figure it out before then. It seemed to Howard like spending time sitting in a library would get them nowhere. They would find nothing there.
"We need to get out of this shithole," Howard said abruptly as he, Bill and the doctors sat reading.
"Excuse me, sir, that is not appropriate language," the librarian said, followed by an ironically loud hush.
"Sorry," Howard whispered before correcting himself, "We need to get out of this vast gap of feces."
"Why?" Bill questioned.
"We've found nothing here except old Xandarian boogers hidden inside these books!" Howard burst out. "We sit here any longer and we'll be as flabby as that old bag over there." He indicated the librarian.
"Where do you suggest we go?" Bill asked curiously.
"What about back to the place we came from?" Howard said in a sarcastic voice. "If we just bring these Nova dorks with us, we might be safe from that dog with a TV antenna on his head."
Bill eventually agreed that it would be smart to go back to where they were "created". They convinced the Nova Corps to escort them back to the planet for further research along with many Xandarian doctors who were all intent on solving the enormous riddle surrounding the two talking animals.
Before their departure, many of the doctors insisted on making one more trip to the library to collect the research they had done and to double check for more. Howard leaned against the wall of the library next to the window, tapping his foot impatiently. He thought he saw something briefly out the window in the sky, but shrugged it off once he saw that there was nothing. That's when the bull dog appeared in front of him.
The dog's eyes quickly turned black again and he howled angrily. Howard sprinted towards the door, followed by Bill. The ran through the doors, and made sure to close it behind them. As they ran down the library steps, the enormous dog trampled through the walls surrounding the door and dashed towards the two of them. Many of the Nova Corps officers quickly arrived to create an electric barricade to separate Howard and Bill from the dog. A very large Nova ship landed in front of the duo as they quickly leaped in. Three of the doctors sprinted towards the ship as well and made it in before the hatch closed.
The dog soon managed to break through the officer's barricade. The dog trampled towards the escaping ship, which was significantly larger than him. The dog leaped through the air towards the ship and missed. As the dog fell, he disappeared into thin air like many times before. The Nova Corps were unable to find him as the ship shot into space with Howard, Bill and the doctors on board.
In a large compartment of the ship that no one had even known about, the bull dog rested his head. Once again, his instinct had messed him up. He did not want another instinctive attack. Instead, the dog fell asleep aboard the ship heading back to the planet he had spent two weeks slowly teleporting across space from.
Chapter 4: The Cocoon
The ship scanned the surface of the planet. They scaled the entire area where they found Howard and Bill. There was no sign of it. No lab was found. There was no building, no small room, no anything. It was a vast wasteland once again, but this time missing the only structure one the entire planet.
That's when one of the Nova Corps officers piloting the ship spotted it. Not the building. That was still just suddenly gone. He spotted something else. Smaller. Rounder. And a bit more creepy looking. They landed the ship next to the strange object, and many of the doctors rushed to it, each trying to figure out what it was first.
"It's a cocoon!" the doctor with over-sized glasses exclaimed extra loud to make sure everyone knew it was him.
"I was thinking it, I just didn't say it," one of the other doctors muttered under his breath.
"What's in it?" Bill asked.
One of the doctors shined a very large light from one side, illuminating the inside of the cocoon. Inside appeared to be the body of a man.
"Is that a person?" Howard wondered out loud.
"If there's a person in there, we cannot leave him on this planet alone," Bill stated, "We need to bring him with."
"Are you crazy?" Howard yelled, "The only other thing we ever found on this planet tried to eat us and some how managed to leap across the galaxy just to try to eat us again! And you think we should just bring this one that could open up to be another creature at any moment with us in a pressurized ship in the middle of space because, hey, this guy might be a person?! No!"
"If we don't bring him back for his safety, we bring him back for answers," Bill replied calmly.
"Fine." Howard said, crossing his arms, "But if he blows up our ship, I want that guy shooting out the window first. Got it?"
Howard pointed to the doctor with over-sized glasses, who backed up a step, suddenly worried for his own life.
"Does it matter who goes out the window first?" Bill asked Howard who just stared blankly.
"How will we get this cocoon on the ship anyways," the doctor with glasses asked, breaking the silence.
"I've got it," Bill said.
Bill bent his knees and grabbed the cocoon from the bottom. To everyone's surprise, including his own, Bill managed to carry the cocoon towards the ship. Suddenly, one of the Nova Corps officers burst out of the ship's hatch urgently.
"We need to get out of here now!" the officer shouted, "Our radar shows a swarm of Broods heading this way at very high speeds. They will be here any second!"
Right on cue, a swarm of flying, black, large, insect-like creatures shot from the sky, scooping up the Nova officer. Bill, Howard and the doctors all ran towards the ship as fast as they could go as more Broods shot down. Howard looked up and saw the officer being torn to shreds in the air. The Broods were like giant flying piranhas, except these were much creepier looking. Two of the doctors were snatched by the Broods and were reduced to miniscule bits of skin floating back down towards the planet within seconds.
Bill heaved forward as fast as his hooves would take him while he carried the cocoon on his back. Howard sprinted in front of Bill, with his duck knees shooting up higher and higher every step as he neared the ship. Another Nova Corps officer leaped from the hatch with a gun that he used to shoot down a handful of the Broods. Bill, Howard and the doctor with glasses darted through the hatch and into the body of the ship. They turned and saw the officer being shredded like the others as the hatch closed shut.
"Get in here!" came the voice of the only remaining officer from the cockpit.
Bill gently set the cocoon down and followed Howard and the doctor into the cockpit of the ship. Broods crashed themselves against the windows, trying to get in, as they buckled themselves into the seats. The officer shot the ship into the air and away from the Broods as fast as it could go. At its top speed, the ship escaped the planet and soon they had completely outrun the Broods. The Nova Corps officer sighed in relief and continued through space at the same high speed with no intention of slowing down for the Broods to catch back up.
Meanwhile, in that secret compartment from earlier, the dog awoke startled from the movement. Frightened, he teleported several feet forward in front of the ship.
The officer only had a brief half of a second to scream as he spotted the enormous dog that suddenly appeared right in front of the ship. The half of the second ended when the ship suddenly collided with the dog. The dog broke entirely through the windshield and the ship spiraled off with all the air moving towards the broken front window. The doctor with the over-sized glasses shot out of the window first.
Chapter 5: Lockjaw
The ship spiraled through space. Pieces from the inside shot out into the abyss, like the Nova Corps officer, articles of clothing from the storage compartments and a limited-edition bobble head. Howard and Bill held onto the inside of the ship as hard as they could before they too were lost in the abyss. Howard's necktie waved like a flag on his duck neck as the ship continued to spin around and around. Even the enormous dog managed to bite onto a part inside the ship to keep himself from shooting out as well.
All three of these strange animals held onto their last breath as they continued to spin. Howard felt his head going light as his lungs demanded more oxygen. Bill lightly cringed as his own breath started to run out. And the dog, he just kept holding on, too freaked out to think of anything else.
Out of nowhere, a bright light shined down on all of them and the ship's spiraling began to gradually cease. The ship started to rise as the light continued to blare onto the interior of the ship. Howard let go of what he was holding onto and saw that the light was coming from an enormous ship. In fact, this light was a beam tracking their smaller ship into the big ship itself.
"This better be a rescue ship," Howard muttered under his breath.
The Nova Corps ship glided gently into the enormous ship's opened hatch and came to a rest. Howard and Bill stepped out of their wrecked ship curiously, leaving the dog behind, still frightened and confused. Fifty fully-armed, armored blue men right from behind a corner and surrounded the ship.
"You will come with us, immediately," one of the blue men ordered.
Two other blue men walked behind Howard and Bill, put their guns to their backs and escorted them through a large doorway. Five more men ran into the wrecked ship and escorted the dog as well who, to Howard's surprise, did not struggle. The army of blue men took Howard, Bill and the dog into a large room inside of the ship where a larger blue man with black make-up on his face sat in a throne, looking down at the strange beings that were brought onto his ship.
"You have come into my borders," the blue man started, "And invaded our territory, in the ship of our enemies. You have littered in our region of the galaxy with your wreckage and waste my time. Now tell me, who are you?"
"Sir, we are just a mere group of-" Bill began.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Howard interrupted to Bill's detest, "Who are we?! No, no, no, no no! You tell us who you are and why you feel the right to talk to us like this!"
"I am Ronan the Accuser!" the man bellowed, standing up. "I lead the most vast section of the Kree army! I protect our borders of the Galaxy and do not approve of being patronized by the likes of a duck, a horse and a dog who dare to enter my borders without my approval! Now I ask of you, who are you?!"
"I apologize for my partner, sir," Bill started again, bowing this time. "For we have been through a lot. The question of who we are is one that even we are not fully able to grasp. We are experimental creations made by someone we do not know. We were escorted by the Nova Corps to the planet in which we were born but were attacked by Broods. Our ship was torn apart as we attempted to escape, and that is when I believe we flew into your territory. We deeply apologize for this and will be leaving at once if you, sir, will allow us to."
"Your tale impresses me," Ronan said, sitting down. "Very well, I will not kill you."
"Thank God!" Howard exclaimed.
"I will, however, will be locking you up for the rest of your sorry lives for your criminal actions towards the Kree Empire," Ronan continued. "My guards will escort you to the brig upon this warship, and when we arrive on my planet in two weeks, you will be taken there and locked up in our highest security prison until your skeletons rot into the stones. Thank you for your company, it was a true pleasure."
Howard and Bill pleaded as they were dragged away, along with the bull dog, to a jail cell on the ship. Their struggles were useless, though, and all three of them were tossed into the cell.
"See what you did?!" Howard yelled at Bill.
"I saved our lives," Bill replied in his calm manner of speaking. "It was apparent that he intended to kill us. Do you see anyone else in this jail cell?"
"Not except the fat mutt that put us into this mess," Howard replied.
"That's because he most likely killed the others," Bill said gravely.
"One...was...here...recently," came a growly voice from behind Howard.
Howard turned and saw no one but the dog.
"Did you just talk?" Howard asked, astonished.
"Yes..." said the dog, "You both...talk. Why...is it...crazy...that I...do too?"
"I'm sorry," said Bill, "We have just only heard your bark and howl. We never heard you actually talk before."
"Talking...hard...because of...lip," replied the dog, gasping between words. "I...tried to...talk...earlier...but dog...instinct...kicked in."
"You better get talking. Fast," Howard threatened.
"Name...is....Lockjaw," the dog began, "Me...like...you. Lost...experiment...no past."
Lockjaw went on to explain that he only attempted to talk to them during their recent encounters because he too wanted to learn about his past. Every time he got close to Howard, however, his dog instincts kicked in and Lockjaw was unable to resist his urges of, well, tearing Howard to shreds. He also discovered that the person who experimented on him gave him the glowing antenna on his head which, surprisingly, allowed him to teleport from location to location.
Finally understanding Lockjaw and why he did what he did, the three discussed an escape plan to continue their adventure. Within five minutes, they already had a plan. Due to Bill's insistence on protecting the cocoon, they decided rescuing it would be in the plan as they believed it was still in the wreckage of the ship.
Starting off their escape plan, Lockjaw teleported just outside of the cell. He backed up several feet and then trampled forward towards the cell wall. With just enough momentum, Lockjaw broke through the wall and Howard and Bill escaped the cell. They ran down the hall, sirens starting to blare, towards a section of the warship where they had spotted smaller pod-shaped ships. Once they reached it, Lockjaw quickly teleported away and returned moments later with the cocoon on his back. Just as the guards arrived, Howard, Bill, Lockjaw and the cocoon on his back dove into the nearest ship and shot away from the warship at its highest speed. They had escaped.
"Should we go after them?" one of the guards asked Ronan as they watched the ship shoot away into the abyss.
"No," Ronan said calmly, "But do send a couple scouts after them. They have committed crimes against us and will pay, but we will let them move a little further. When the time is right, at the point where they almost find the truth, that is when we will strike to truly crush their spirits forever."
Chapter 6: The Truth Revealed
They had landed in the head of an ancient celestial being which was now filled with an enormous city, ruled by a mining corporation. There were no rules and no laws. It was the perfect safe haven for outlaws. It was called Knowhere. The only reason Howard the Duck, Beta Ray Bill and Lockjaw the Dog were even there was because Howard thought it looked cool and told Bill to land their ship there.
After leaving the cocoon in their ship, the trio walked around the strange city for an hour before finding a place to finally sit down. So a duck in a suit, a horse in armor and an enormous bull dog walked into a bar, and the bartender said, well, he didn't say much of anything. These kinds of things were normal in Knowhere.
Howard and Lockjaw went straight for the booze while Bill went to the bartender for answers. He spoke to the bartender about their situation and asked if anyone in Knowhere could help them. The bartender thought about this for a moment. Bill glanced back at his friends during the pause and saw Howard sitting on Lockjaw's head pouring two enormous bottles of ale into Lockjaw's open mouth. Bill tensed but looked back to the bartender.
"The Collector should have some answers," the bartender said. "He has a museum towards the center of the city. There's a great big dome at the top. It's impossible to miss it."
"Thank you," Bill said and left a pile of coins he had found in the pod on the bar.
Bill walked up to Howard and Lockjaw who were both clearly drunk.
"Oh, Bill, Bill, you, you have to meet my friend here," Howard said, wobbling as he spoke. "It's, uh, it's Lockjaw! He's a big fat dog and he can like jump or sumpin'"
"That's...right...Billy boy," Lockjaw gasped with even more space between his words.
"Bahaha!" Howard laughed, pointing at Bill, "He called you...Billy boy!"
"We have to go," Bill said to Howard in a stern voice. "I think I found someone to give us some answers."
"You know what answer I want?" Howard bellowed loudly. "I want to know why that green guy over there is so damn fat! And ugly!"
The green man Howard was referring to turned towards Howard, walked up to him and punched him across in his bill. Howard shot across the room and landed on the ground. There was a brief empty silence in the room, followed by a full bar rumble as every person decided to start fighting another random person they may or may not have known before this. Chairs were tossed. tables were thrown. Hell, Bill thought he even saw a baby being thrown at one point.
"We need to get out of here, Howard," Bill screamed at the drunken duck over the deafening sound from the rest of the bar.
"Yeah, you're probably right," Howard said, now fully aware of his surroundings.
The two started to run for the door, having already lost Lockjaw. Suddenly the green man stood back in front of them.
"Where do you think you're going, duck?!" the man asked rudely. "And who is this? Your boyfriend?"
"Sorry," Bill said, moving towards the wall. "But we've got places to be."
Bill pulled on a pipe that was sticking abruptly out of the cement wall. The wall cracked and a portion of it broke off and stuck onto the pipe. Howard struck the green man using the cement. The man fell to the ground and bled out from the side of his head.
"Whoa," Howard said, impressed. "Nice hammer."
Some of the green man's friends confronted Howard and Bill, ready to get back for what they did to their friend. Suddenly, an enormous furry beast crashed all of them into the wall at once and turned towards Bill and Howard.
"Get...on," Lockjaw told them as quickly as he could.
Howard and Bill leaped onto Lockjaw's back and they trampled their way out of the bar, which was now partially on fire. Once they had made enough distance, Bill told Lockjaw where to go. Lockjaw ran down the poorly structured road towards the dome in the distance with Howard and Bill on his back. Bill realized he still had the hammer-shaped piece of the wall and pipe in his hand. He liked the feel of it and decided to keep it in case they needed to fight again. Howard looked down at Bill's hammer and realized that he was jealous. He wanted a weapon too, but maybe something a little bit better than a hammer. Maybe something more explosive.
They arrived at the Collector's museum and knocked on the entrance door. After a couple moments, a strange looking man with white hair combed backwards, a plethora of make-up and a large fur coat.
"What are you?" asked the Collector.
"We have the same question about ourselves," Howard said in his regular snarky voice. "Can you help us out?"
The Collector, eager to examine the new specimens, welcome the trio into his museum. After examining each of them separately, the Collector came to the same conclusion as the Xandarian doctors: they were artificial beings with cloned brains of others.
"Yeah, we know that already, dumbass," Howard said to the Collector. "How about helping us find out more. Whose brains were we 'cloned' from? Who made us this way? And why the hell am I a duck?!"
"Though I cannot answer most of your questions, Mr. Duck," the Collector replied in his almost-Shakespearean voice, "I may be able to find out some history of who you were previously."
Placing each of them on their own separate tables, the Collector connected a strange device to each of their foreheads. Howard heard strong electricity running at one point from his machine, but that was it. After a minute, the Collector removed the devices. Howard and Bill sat up while Lockjaw stayed rolled on his back.
"While I have been unable to discover everything about your previous lives," the Collector said to them, "I have been able to find some things new. First of all, your brains were not entirely cloned from a living being's brain. The original carrier was killed by your designer, whom I have been unable to identify, and then the brains were cloned from there. I also found a few bits of each of your histories. Howard, I will start with you."
"This should be good," Howard said, excited. "I hope I was rich!"
"In fact, you were," the Collector replied to Howard's enjoyment, "You were the founder of a major engineering company on a distant company. You had lots of money and you helped many different wars by supplying them with weapons. You were killed in a car accident caused by whomever created you, but it seems as though some other group has taken credit for it instead. It is hard to tell. In any case, it appears as though he took your brain's DNA for your high levels of intelligence."
"Bill," the Collector said, moving onto the horse, "You were one of the greatest warriors of a now extinct species called the Korbinites. Your entire planet was destroyed by a fleet of fire demons, but whomever your creator was, he chose to take your life himself to experiment on your brain's DNA due to your high amounts of bravery and determination.
"And finally, you, Lockjaw. Yours was the most difficult. Your brain is very heavily guarded. Though your body is larger, your brain is still the same size as the others. It is just surrounded by pounds upon pounds of fat. Though I could not find much on your past life, I did discover that your creator chose you for your loyalty to your friends. This would explain the form that he put you in as the dog is often considered the loyalest companion."
Knowing that they would get no more information from the Collector, the trio thanked the strange man for his help and hospitality. He insisted that they stay longer so he could examine him more.
"Sorry, but we've got some giant cocoon thing that pony boy here is in love with," Howard protested. "He doesn't want to leave it unattended for too long in case, you know, it hatches."
"Very well," the Collector said to them. "You may go. But should you need help in the future or should you be willing to assist my research, you know where to find me."
Howard, Bill and Lockjaw left.
"Did the duck say he had a giant cocoon?" The Collector asked his assistant, who nodded. "That's what I thought. I am going to follow them. I may need to collect this strange artifact."
Chapter 7: Coming out of Knowhere
Howard, Bill and Lockjaw walked to their pod in silence, each thinking about what had been told to them. They walked up to the pod and the hatch opened. Suddenly, they heard the Collector's voice behind them, screaming for them to stop. They turned as the Collector was seen running up to them, heaving for breath under his fur coat. He approached the trio.
"I'm sorry," said the Collector. "I just needed to see..."
The Collector's eyes gazed upon the cocoon, clearly visible inside the pod's opened hatch.
"Again, I'm sorry, but," the Collector started again, this time reaching into his pocket. "But I just can't let you leave with that cocoon."
The Collector pulled out a strange, small, cubic device from his pocket that shot out a laser towards the trio. They quickly dove into the pod and shot away from the Collector's attacks. The Collector, irritated by their escape, found a smaller pod someone had parked nearby. He leaped in and shot towards the escaping animals.
Howard and the others began to flee Knowhere before they spotted something that made their hearts drop. Ronan's warship sat just outside of Knowhere's exit point, blocking their escape. Hundreds of Kree pods, just like the one Howard was in, shot out of the warship, all with the intention of gunning down their escaped prisoners.
"Well, shit," Howard said profanely.
Howard took control of the ship from Bill and turned it around as fast as he could. He shot the pod forward as hundreds of other pods darted after him. The Kree pursuers shot the ship's blasters at Howard's.
"Whoa, I didn't know these things could shoot!" Howard shouted. "That's sweet."
Howard steered the pod around the buildings of Knowhere, shooting down anything that stood in his way, as the other Kree ships followed. A few of the Kree ships crashed into buildings and exploded, but most stayed intact, much to Howard's dislike. Suddenly, a blast from one of the Kree ships shot at Howard's pod, sending them crashing into the ground.
Howard, Bill and Lockjaw stumbled out of the pod and dashed away from it. Bill looked back at the cocoon, still in the pod, and then saw the Collector land in a pod nearby who rushed towards the lonely cocoon. Bill swallowed deeply and accepted that the cocoon would be better off in the Collector's museum anyways.
The trio ran through the streets as fast as they could. They turned a corner and found themselves face-to-face with fifteen Kree soldiers, each with their guns out. They turned, but every direction they saw more and more of the Kree. They were trapped. Howard's eyes searched across his surroundings before he spotted something marvelous sitting conveniently just a few feet away, abandoned on the ground.
"If we go down," Howard said heroically to his friends, "we go down together."
Howard dove towards the bazooka he had spotted as Bill charged at the soldiers with his hammer and Lockjaw trampled over many of the others. Howard lifted the bazooka over his shoulder and aimed it straight at twenty approaching soldiers.
"See ya later, bitches!" Howard screamed as he pulled the trigger.
An enormous missile shot from the end of the bazooka, tossing Howard back into the wall. The missile hit the leading Kree warrior and resulted in a massive explosion. It was lucky for Howard that he crashed through the wall. Had he not, he would have turned to ashes within seconds like the other guards.
Howard climbed from the rubble, his ears ringing, to see his friends putting up a good fight against the Kree. His head turned away from them and saw Ronan the Accuser walking towards them with an entire team of body guards, intent on doing what he should have done when he chose their sentence. Ronan was ready to kill these animals. A large hammer was held in his hands as he marched forward and right to the edge of the battle.
"Enough!" Ronan bellowed. "You destroyed several parts of my warship! For this, you animals must pay."
"We...will not...bow to...you!" Lockjaw gasped.
Lockjaw prepared himself to teleport over Ronan to crush him. A moment before he actually teleported, Ronan knew what the dog intended to do. Ronan instantly raised his hammer over his head as Lockjaw teleported his thick body right around it. Ronan tossed his hammer with the body of the bull dog onto the ground. Lockjaw's lifeless body landed in front of Howard who stared in disbelief.
"Noooooooooo!" Howard screamed louder than he had ever screamed before. "You killed him!!!!! You killed my friend!!! You killed him, you son of a bitch!!!"
Bill, sensing the need to escape, sprinted towards Howard, scooped him over his shoulder and ran. Howard protested, screaming he wanted to go back to Lockjaw, but Bill continued to run as fast as he could away from the enemies.
"Kill them," Ronan said to his army as he turned back towards his warship. "Kill them both."
The army pursued Bill who fled with Howard. Unfortunately, the army was faster due to Bill's fatigue from the earlier fight. Just when Bill's knees were about to give in, a large electric barrier appeared between Bill and the rest of the army. Bill turned his head, expecting to see a rescue team from the Nova Corps. Instead, the Collector stood with a new device. He had created the barrier. Bill dropped, exhausted, dropping Howard onto the ground as well. Howard's vision was blurred from his tears, but he did not care for anything he would see anyways. He just wanted his friend back.
A blurry figure walked over Howard and stuck something sharp into his neck. Howard fell asleep.
Howard woke up in a glass case. It took him a moment to recognize where he was. He soon realized he was in the Collector's museum. Trapped. Abandoned. Alone. Left as nothing but the Collector to occasionally chuckle at if he was bored. He looked around and spotted Bill in a different glass case some distance away. Bill was still asleep. He also spotted the cocoon in a different glass case. Howard then scanned the room for Lockjaw, hoping he would be there too. As Howard had subconsciously expected, Lockjaw was absent. Howard lowered his head in memory of his friend.
Howard was trapped in that case for a long time. He couldn't even tell how long he was in there. It could have been a week, a month, a year, two years, he did not know. He watched the Collector work. The Collector would often do research in his free time. On occasion, he would bring in people to tour his museum. Howard's eyes would often wander to Bill's glass case. He wondered why Bill did not move. One day, he overheard the Collector explaining that the "specimen" which was referred to as Beta Ray Bill attempted to escape the first glass case he was put in and had cracked the glass of it with his fist. Bill was then moved to a different case and had been kept on a sleeping gas ever since.
Howard also watched many different artifacts and species come and join him in their own exhibits of the museum. One of these species was a strange looking dog in what Howard somehow recognized as an Earth space suit. He spotted markings on the back of the dog to the ones on his own back. Howard then knew that whoever had created him had also created this dog.
On one fateful day, a group of four different beings entered the museum with a strange artifact to give the Collector. He looked closely beings. It looked like a raccoon but also had the same markings as he did on his back. Suddenly, before Howard realized what was happening, the room exploded in some big purple mess.
Howard awoke from after being knocked out. He sat up and realized he was no longer in his glass cage. He stood up, feeling free, and looked across the ruins of the Collector's museum. Howard knew exactly where he wanted to go first: the Collector's booze cabinet. He poured himself a martini and walked over the rubble. He took a seat in one of the broken glass cases and watched the Collector sit in his own failures. The dog in the space suit walked up to the Collector and licked him across the face.
"What do you let him lick you like that for? Gross." Howard said before taking a sip from his martini. "It burns going down."
Howard jumped out from where he sat and walked up to the dog.
"Here boy," Howard said, "Come with me. I may need a new dog. Bill! Come on! We're going!"
Bill rolled over from where he crashed during the explosion. He sat too sat up after a very long nap but instinctively followed his friend. After around 23 years of being trapped in the glass case, Howard the Duck walked free from the Collector's museum and continued his journey to find out who had made him and why he made him that way.
Neither Bill nor Howard noticed as they walked out of the museum the body crawling slowly out of the cocoon they had worked so hard to protect all of those years before....
What did you think? Any thoughts? Does this accurately match up with the MCU or did I miss a couple key points? Was it funny? Stupid? Too long? Too good? And should I continue Howard the Duck's adventure to find his creator? Let me know in the comments!
Post Closing Statements Scene
Many miles away, a strange, shadowy man sat up from his power nap. He felt something change. It took him a moment to realize what it was, but then he grinned. He grinned evilly. Mangus grinned because he could feel that his creations were coming back to him, but more importantly, he also felt that his second half was finally born. Mangus had awoken his second body from the cocoon he had planted all of those years before, and now his plan could finally come into place.