So, if you’re reading this, hopefully y’all are familiar with the Pirates of the Caribbean and with Doctor Who, specifically with the Doctor Who episode named Blink and with any of the episodes guest-starring fan-favorite Captain Jack Harkness.
This is an alternate opening, which I’ve come up with, for the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. So, without further lollygagging, let’s get this show on the road shall we?
Sally Sparrow was quite an ordinary person with a normal job at a normal shop, a normal cat at home, and a normal life all around. Everything went regularly in her life, all except for that one encounter she had with four aliens from a very unique race, the Weeping Angels they were called.
The Weeping Angels were a species of aliens that looked like statues of angels covering their eyes as if they were weeping (thus the name). What really made them unique was they fed off of people’s time energy by touching them. By doing so they would send their victim back in time. Another quality of these creatures was they were extremely fast. If you even blinked, they would be gone, but they turned to stone if any living thing looked upon it. This certain attribute lead to the downfall of those four that had tried to feed off of Sally Sparrow’s time energy.
They had all been trapped in their stone forms when they all looked at each other, standing in a circle, in the cellar of an abandoned mansion.
Their they stood for almost an entire year, with Sally shaking with fear every time she passed that old mansion on her way to work every evening. She knew that nothing could ever happen now, they were trapped, but she still was getting that unsettled feeling now that she was passing by the house again.
“Why do I worry myself like this?” She asked herself out-loud, trying to reassure herself nothing could happen, “They’re trapped their forever and nothing can ever happen.”
Just as she said this, she noticed two vans parked outside the mansion. The vans had the words "Buttercotton's Renovation" on the sides. She rushed up to one of the men going to and fro from the vans with all sorts of supplies.
“What’s going on here?” She asked.
“Nothin’ lady!” the man said rather abruptly, “Now scram, we’s got work ta do!”
She followed him inside continuing to ask him why they were here, but he kept telling to either shut up, got lost, or go bother someone else.
“You can’t treat me like a child!” she said, “Tell me what you’re...”
She hadn’t noticed that she followed him straight down into the cellar where the Angels were. She watched in horror as some of the men were moving one of them away from the others.
“If they turn it’s eyes away from the other Weeping Angels, one of them will be free!” She thought to herself, “and that will be one far too many!!!”
She let out a scream as they dropped it. Its head was no longer facing the one across form it and he was free. The Angel vanished, rushing away faster than a bullet. She turned around just in time to see it touch one of the men. The man vanished into the past, never to be seen again by anyone from this day and age, and he was sent to the past. The Angel had turned one of the other aliens away from the others, freeing them all!
They were starving for time energy after nearly a year of fasting and were going around touching everyone and were about to lay their hands on Sally when ZAP! Out of nowhere came a handsome man in a flicker of energy. He reached out and grabbed Sally’s hand.
“Looks like someone needs a little help.” He said with a grin.
Sally was too scared and stunned to say anything and clutched onto his hand. He pressed a button on a device he wore on his wrist and ZAP! They were at her house, standing in her living room.
“What?...How?...Huh?” Sally was bewildered. How did that work? One second they were there, now they were here? Her head was spinning.
“I heard you scream.” Said the stranger, “ I was in the area tracking down some Cybermen, but I never turn down a damsel in distress!”
“Well, you sound like quite the ladies man.” Sally said, still slightly confused. “Who even are you? And how did you know where I live? How’d you know to bring me here?”
“Well,” said the man, “I am quite a ladies man actually and my name is Jack Harkness, Captain Jack Harkness, how do you do? And this little device on my wrist allows me to travel through time and space, so when I heard you scream, I went back in time a ways and found where you lived so I could take you to a more familiar, hospitable place.”
Time travel! Sally suddenly remembered her encounter with the Doctor, a time-traveling alien who was the person that saved her from the Angels last year!
“Well, if you can time travel,” she said, getting her nerves back, “why didn’t you just go back and stop the men from moving the Angel in the first place?”
“I tried,” Jack said, “Oh, believe me, I tried! But no matter how many times I tried, it didn’t work. The Angels got free somehow or another no matter what I did. It must be a fixed point in time or something.”
“A fixed point in time?” Sally was confused.
“Yes, something inevitable. A fixed point in time cannot be changed, time finds a way to make it happen some way or some how. For some reason, time WANTS them to be freed.”
“Well, we can’t just stand here!” Sally exclaimed, “The Angels could be any second!”
“Don’t worry about them!” suddenly a new voice came from behind her and Sally spun around to see an interesting looking man wearing a bow-tie standing outside of an old Police Box (the TARDIS it was called). “Yes, no need to worry about those nasty old rocks!” the man grinned a smug smile, “Because…I’m the Doctor!”
“What?” asked Sally, “You’re not the Doctor! I’ve met the Doctor and you’re not him!”
“What do you mean Doctor,” asked Jack, “What happened to them?”
“First off,” started the Doctor, “I AM in fact the good ol’ Doctor! It’s just that I’ve regenerated! It’s weird, I’ll explain later! Second, I went back in time and stopped those sweaty men from ever freeing the Angels! Presto! Problem sloved! Now you can go back to eating crumpets and sipping tea, or whatever it is that you British humans do.”
“But Doctor,” Jack put in, “It was a fixed point in time!”
“Oh well,” grinned the Doctor, “I just ignored that bit! Besides, time is just a big ball of wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey stuff. There are dozens of loop-holes!” he turned his head to side and said to himself, “Now that I mention it, that’s all time is, a big loop-hole…huh!”
“Wibbly, wobbly? Timey, wimey?” Sally realized, “I suppose you are the Doctor somehow. He used to say that!”
“Ahh!,” The Doctor said, “Now you’re getting it!! Now if you two will excuse me, I have to go save a certain planet from unavoidable destruction. Krypton? I think that was its name. Farewell!”
He jumped into the Police Box and soon it started to fade away, making this groaning, beeping and hissing noise, until it vanished altogether, and was gone!
“Well,” said Jack, “I suppose that wraps this little adventure up! Would you mind if I used your couch for the night? Chasing Cybermen and running from Weeping Angels isn’t exactly relaxing!”
“Umm..of course, I suppose.” replied Sally shocked at the request, “But I should probably go to the shop now, I’m late enough for work as it is!”
“Skip work!” Jack said, lying down on the couch, putting his hands behind is head, “You were just attacked by aliens! Take the night off!”
Without saying a word, Sally flopped down on a chair beside the couch.
There the two sat for a few hours, both telling each other of the run-ins they’d had with the Doctor and the adventure they’d had. Sally explained how the Doctor had first warned her of the Weeping Angels through messages on DVDs, while Jack explained how he had gained immortality during one of his adventures with the Doctor. He could die, but he would always come right back to life within seconds!
The next morning, Jack was about to go off on his way, but Sally stopped him. She asked him to stay another night, just so she felt safe.
Jack liked Sally and thought that it would be nice to stay a while longer. And quite a while longer he did stay. For over two months! They were nearing in on three months of Jack staying with Sally when he finally popped the question and of course Sally said yes!
The wedding would be in three weeks. They got about their preparations immediately. A dress was picked out, a location and decorations were set up, and invitations were sent. One of course to the Doctor!
Jack said, “I do.”
Sally said, “I do.”
And the minister said, “…man and wife.”
They were married! The day had gone perfectly. Everyone showed up! Everyone, that is, except the Doctor.
They were going into the reception room when they heard that very distinctive groaning, beeping, hissing noise, the TARDIS. Out stepped the Doctor, still wearing the same clothes as he had on when he left them months ago.
He looked a little disoriented and looked this way and that turning his whole body around with his head wherever he looked, until his eyes landed on Mr. and Mrs. Harkness!
“You have a time machine,” said Jack with a chuckle, “and you still manage to be late.”
“Ahh!!” he shouted, “The Sparrows!!!”
“No Doctor,” said Jack.
“We’re the Harkness’ actually.” said Sally.
“Nonsense!” said the Doctor, “You’re now both Sparrows! If you know me at all, you know that I prefer girls’ names over boys’. Such as Sparrow, Pond, Jane, Joey, etc. Now I suppose you’re Captain Jack Sparrow!”
“It does have a nice ring to it!” Jack said, looking at Sally.
They both chuckled, but then started as they heard a shriek!!! They looked around to see a Weeping Angel standing there with an arm out-stretched, about to touch one of the guests.
“Everyone look at it!” said the Doctor, calmly, “Nobody look away and we’ll be alright!”
“Doctor,” said Jack still looking at the Angel, “there are three more of them you know.”
“Yes, of course I know!” said the Doctor, “I just didn’t want to cause a panic! I suppose there really isn’t a way around a fixed point in time. Sorry Krypton. Look out for the other Angels!”
But it was too late. Jack was looking at the first one still and all of a sudden, he didn’t know what he was looking at! Was it a star, or an elephant? Now it was an airplane, but it was changing into a clock! Everything was rushing past him, he was being sent back through time, seeing time whisk past his eyes!
All of a sudden, he was looking at a palm tree! He turned around and around and saw he was on an island! In the middle of the ocean!
“What happened?!?” screamed Sally, “What’s happening to Jack?!?!”
They looked over and directly behind Jack was the second Weeping Angel. It was stretching out its hand touching Jack, feasting off his time energy. Then they were all grabbing onto Jack, all four of them soaking up his unlimited time energy (due to him being immortal), sending him further and further back in time.
They absorbed his energy until finally he disappeared.
“They fell into a food coma of sorts,” said the Doctor, “They ate his time energy so much that they over-filled. We won’t have to worry about them for a while. That gives me enough time to figure out what to do with them.”
“But…” said Sally, trying to hold back the flood of tears behind her eyes, “What about Jack?”
“He’s gone now, “said the Doctor calmly, “Since they took such a large amount of time energy, there’s no telling when he is now. It’ll take some time, but I’ll find him.”
Jack was stunned; he must’ve been touched by an Angel. There was no sign of any intelligent life anywhere. The island seemed deserted, but he thought he could make out…sails? Sails for a ship? Then he saw a pirate’s flag waving in the wind above the sails.
“Oh no,” he thought, “I’ve been sent back to pirate times!!”
The ship came closer and closer until they were almost to the island and they then dropped their anchor. Then smaller boats were being filled with people and being lowered to the water. They started rowing towards shore.
Jack watched as they reached the beach and as one man wearing a large hat with a large feather jutting out of the front. Behind him, more pirates were climbing out of the boats.
“I am Captain Teague!” said the pirate with the feathered hat. “Who be you, and why be you dressed all purty-like that way? You one of the king’s lackeys?”
“I am Captain Jack…erm,” he wanted to keep his real name a secret from the pirates, so he finished by saying, “Yes, I’m Captain Jack Sparrow!”
“Captain?” Captain Teague chuckled, “Of what? You aint a pirate. And if you be a captain of the king’s fleet, we’s gonna have ta spill your blood on this here beach right now, ay!”
“Well..uh…of course I’m a pirate!!” Jack didn’t want to be stabbed or anything. It wouldn’t kill him, but it still hurts, “I just lost my ship!”
“HA!” Teague threw his head back and laughed, “You LOST your ship?!?! Well aint that the darndest thing I ever heard! If you really be a pirate, which I doubt, you’re a sorry excuse fer one. We should just kill ye now.”
Jack took a step back as Captain Teague drew his dagger from his belt. But before he could put the dagger to use, one of the other pirates stepped up.
“Captain!” the pirate said, “We don’t have ta kill ‘im! We are short a considerable amount of crewmen after our last pillaging. We could use “im.”
“Shut it Mr. Gibbs!” yelled Teague, “I’ll decide who gets the pleasure of joinin’ me crew.”
He paused for a moment, put his dagger back in his belt, and said, “Welcome to the crew Jacky boy!!”
Everyone cheered as Teague threw his arms around Jack!
“Get this man some rum!” he motioned to a few of his crewmen to carry out the task, “But none of the good stuff mind ye.” He whispered to them as they passed by.
Jack didn’t wake up that morning thinking he would be sent back in time by an alien and become a pirate, but that’s what happened. He missed Sally already, but he knew that the Doctor would find him and bring him right back to the wedding reception, so he thought he might as well have fun while he waited.
The pirates brought him onboard their ship, singing and laughing in celebration! The Black Pearl was the name of it, he heard one pirate say. Jack liked the name!
“Where’s the rum?!?” yelled Teague, “We need some rum!!!”
Mr. Gibbs hurried up towards the captain, “The rum be gone Cap’n.”
“Why…” Captain Teague raised his arms and looked towards the sky, “Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?!?!”
Jack had expected the Doctor to show up in a day or two, but it had been years since he first appeared on that beach and there was still no sign of the TARDIS or the Doctor.
A lot had happened over the past few years. Captain Teague took Jack in as a son and Jack really grew to like Teague and grew accustomed to the pirate ways. Teague eventually gave Jack the Black Pearl and made him captain of the vessel. He also gave him a special compass, who’s needle would point towards whatever the person holding it wanted most in the world.
Jack kept Mr. Gibbs as a member of his crew, but he had another pirate as first-mate, a man by the name of Barbossa, a cruel and ruthless pirate.
Bit by bit, Jack started dressing like Teague and acting like him to! He grew a bit of a beard, let his hair grow out, and was made considerably tanner due to his being out in the sun all day every day. One could hardly recognize Jack as the man who married Sally Sparrow all those years ago in the future. He was now a pirate!
Jack sailed the seas searching for adventure whenever he could find it. If he heard tale of a cursed treasure or something like the Fountain of Youth, he would be the first person to go searching for it.
He never feared waltzing right in the middle of an army of men with their swords drawn and pistols cocked. They couldn’t kill him. Obviously he didn’t want to be shot or stabbed and naturally tried to avoid such things, but wasn’t afraid of death, since death could not take him.
The only time that pirate Captain Jack Sparrow was ever truly afraid was when he was being hunted by Davy Jones, a cursed pirate who wanted Jack as his eternal slave. Now that was a scary thought!
He was still quite the ladies man too. Whenever he came across an even slightly good looking woman, he’d win them over to him and leave them once things started getting remotely boring. What a bachelor party, he would think to himself. Soon he had almost every woman he’d come across hating him for dumping them.
Jack was sitting in his cabin on the Black Pearl, thinking about Sally when his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a gunshot! He started from his chair and walked towards the door.
When he opened the door, he saw the whole crew scrambling around the deck fighting each other, screaming things like, “Die you blackguard!”, “Down with the Captain!”, and, “Mutiny!!!”
Then, through all the chaos, Barbossa stepped towards Jack saying, “I’m captain now, Jack.”
Well, that's that I suppose! I hope you enjoyed this alternate beginning to Pirates of the Caribbean! If you liked it, please click the little heart down at the bottom and (if you dare) you could even decide to follow me! Thanks for reading!!!! :)