Long before becoming a legend amongst the world (well, mostly just Aperture), there was a brave wanderer who had battled many adversities to accomplish that recognition; battling alongside the notoriously evil GLaDOS, surviving a fatal plunge, and enduring the pecks of an evil bird. Of course, there can be only one logical presence for this origin anecdote: The Potato.
Born into a wealthy home alongside several spud siblings in Burley, Idaho, The Potato quickly became the outcast between his families. He would spend his time bullying the fields of beans and wheat with his fruit friends, Cherry and Banana. Many lives were traumatized from the threatening actions of these three, and eventually led to a spiraling downfall.
The Potato began using very little amounts of mixed pesticides, just enough for the high without the chance of a deadly overdose. His friends quickly abandoned him and he found himself without a home. He had lost everything he cared for, and decided to end his own life.
Before he would find himself mashed potatoes, a young man saw The Potato and quickly grabbed him. He was thrown into a sack in the back of a pickup and would begin his southward journey. Several hours later, the blinding light of the sun burned his eyes as the sack was opened, until he focused in on a flag flying high above. It had a black circle with an odd image on the inside bottom. There were letters underneath, but The Potato had forgotten how to read after his abusive pesticide use. There were large rocks surrounding the entire area, much larger than he had ever seen in his life.
After months of being tested on and locked away in a metal box, everything was about to change. As he was being transported to the lab for more studies, a man with glasses and a goatee passed and glanced at The Potato. His ability to read had been regained from various tests, and he spotted a mysterious sign above the door the man had just entered. It read ‘Anomalous Materials’.
Before he could even make it to the lab, the building began shaking and scientists were running and screaming. The metal box fell to the ground and The Potato landed in the middle of a huge red circle. An immense beam of light filled the area, and The Potato felt a warmth all around him. A portal opened below him, and he was suddenly floating in darkness.
There were stars all around, and below him were a few floating islands. It was quiet. The Potato could do nothing but helplessly drift wildly toward an opening in the rocks. He passed by a towering creature with 4 crab-like legs and a sac below its body. It swung a massive claw at The Potato, but he was just out of its reach. The cave exit could be seen ahead, but before he made it, another portal opened, and he was sucked inside.
Falling from the sky, The Potato eventually crashed through a skylight, landed in a ventilation shaft, and began plummeting through dust and cobwebs. Bursting through another grate, The Potato landed in a large open room. As he was investigating his surroundings, he heard a voice. It was a female voice, but it seemed altered. When The Potato looked up, a large robotic body with a single eye was staring back at him.
Thus begins the relationship between GLaDOS and The Potato. He would eventually be tested again at GLaDOS’ recommendation, and became equipped with a wiring harness. It gave him power, finally allowing his self-esteem to intensify and once again give meaning to his life.