I remember the good ol' days of wanting to become a superhero. Sat with friends in the playground at free time, trying to figure out which three superpowers would be best suited to our heroes of choice. "Would you fly, would you swim really fast? Would you be really good at fractions? X-ray vision that can only see through clothes?" Yeah, real inventive kids we were.
Little did we know at the time, that in order to perfectly portray the heroes of our imaginations, and truly strike fear into the hearts of evil doers, we'd have to hit the gym and protein shakes as hard as a particularly vexed Hulk and bulk up, for the sheer aesthetic value.
Much alike the first Avenger himself, though I'd take his route any day. I'm not blessed with an abundance of patience:
Considering I'm as skinny as f*ck, it would seem as if crime would have a monumental head start until I figured out how to use my ability to shoot lasers out of my toes, and telepathically communicate with crane flies (I can't really do any of these things).
But, lo and behold, one company has been building, and excuse the poor pun, a high amount of mass from media attention with their ridiculously pumped body suits that will bestow upon any couch potato the physique of a bonafide Avenger. This heroic company is called Flex Designs.
Welcome to the Gun Show
These lycra full body suits come in wide variety of sizes, ranging from a Spider-Man-esque lean muscle suit, to the more intimidating mega muscle (pictured above).
The suits also come in a pretty sweet array of colors, meaning you can easily turn yourself into your favorite hero and forever scar childhoods with a particularly unique Pink Ranger cosplay. The suits also come with the option of adding veins and airbrushing to really bring home just how close to reality these magnificent creations are.
Flex Designs are looking into releasing specially-designed suits that come complete with accessories, like their "Red Ninja" suit, which looks suspiciously similar to Deadpool, twinned with a pair of katanas.
Sounds like the perfect addition to your cosplay closet? Yeah, definitely if you have some thousands of dollars to spare. Using the mega muscle suit as an example, you'll be expected to shell out a whopping $3,499 for the muscular goodness, which is a lot of burgers and Doritos. I chose not to count how many, just to not freak myself out on how much money I spend on delicious burgers.
But, I guess any muscle suit that has the backing of the Furious franchise has my vote. The suits are so anatomically correct, some were used during filming of Furious Six. I didn't even notice, how about you?
If it wasn't for Flex Designs, we also wouldn't have gotten a glimpse of the late Paul Walker's cheeky imitation of Vin Diesel, with his rendition of "Diesel Time." Aah, the high jinx of the stars.
So, worth the investment?
What do you think?
How are you going to explain this to suitors brought home after a night at the bar? "Sorry love, can't reach the zip. Could you...?"
(Source: Flex Designs)