BySandra Burt, writer at
Just your average film nerd who thinks that they are a professional film critic
Sandra Burt

Title: Fifty Shades of Grey
Release Date: February 14th, 2015
Starring: Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan


Fifty Shades of Grey is based off of the equally terrible book by E.L James. Who ever thought that an internet nerd like us could get so rich off of twilight fan-fiction? First the book somehow made its way onto shelves and then somehow they thought it was good enough to make a movie. But anyway, the movie is set in modern day Washington state (Gee what does that sound like?) and is about a young woman who meets an abusive man and somehow manages find love in his dreamy eyes. It basically a soft core porn that they managed to put on the big screen. But honestly, I think that porn starts do a better job at acting than these two.


I blended this one because I don't really even know if you can call what they were doing acting and there really was not that much character development so thus I blended the two. For a romance movie there was no connection at all between the two characters. Yes they are supposed to be awkward I know that but it was painful to watch. The lines were read with literally almost no emotion. I get that you wanted to find actors that aren't really in a lot of movies so that the people who read the crap can just picture them as the characters but I mean at least pick some people who can act. But then again everyone else probably started to bust out laughing trying to read the script so they had to pick some actor's who didn't have any emotion what-so-ever. Well at least they did that part right.


One good thing that I can give this movie is that it actually did a good job with following the story-line that was in the book. That doesn't really make it a good plot but I mean at least it was at least somewhat true to the original. And yeah don't get me wrong the movie was steamy alright...a steaming pile of dog shit.

Rating: Worse than a steaming pile of dog shit


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