On the couch, flicking through, which seems like, countless channels trying to find a movie that perfectly emulates a mockbuster. (A big budget movie that's so bad that's it is downright awesome.) After a while, on Starz Network, I spot the 1998 classic, Bruce Willis, asteroid explosion-fest "Armageddon" aka Awesomegeddon. Directed by Michael "Fuck Yeah" Bay, the most under-appreciated, AWESOME, and prolific action movie director critics absolutely despise. If you don't believe in his need for awesomeness. See below...
Nevertheless, when the movie came out almost two months after Deep Impact; Said film, worldwide, was still the highest grossing film that year, beating out 'Saving Private Ryan'. Making $201,578,182 in the US and $352,131,606 internationally.
Nearly all critics gave it negative reviews. Rottentomatoes has this film at 39% from 115 top critics but oddly enough "Armageddon" has an outstanding 73% from 900 Thousand plus general public audience reviews.
The late legendary critic Roger Ebert, even put "Armageddon" on his most hated films list and named it the worst film of 1998.
"The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained"- Roger Ebert
MP Reader, agree or disagree with me, I, personally, like to think that most movies are made with the intention to entertain, frighten, arouse, gross you out, etc... But if a film fails to induce any sort of emotions or feelings of attachment to characters, story, or plot than it will most likely be forgotten in a heartbeat. Armageddon was not dry, forgettable, or unbearable to watch in my eyes. I know its cliche, corny, and full of gaping plot holes; But, for the most part, it was still entertaining and I loved it. If you want to know a comedic take on all the things wrong with Armageddon watch below.
Anyway, I will watch the film and review its positive points and then state what could have been done better at the time.
- The New York City asteroid catastrophe was awesome. I spotted the freaky World Trade Center on fire coincidence that threw me for a loop. Is it me or do Hollywood movie calamities always occur in major cities.
- I noticed Michael Bay as an extra for two quick cuts which was pretty cool.
- Liv Tyler, my other soul-mate besides Kate Upton, is perfectly cast. She, alone, is worth watching the movie for. I noticed that she quickly adds the emotional touch to the movie a few seconds in when Bruce Willis' Harry Stamper uses the golf club to move the blanket out AJ's Bed.
- Bruce Willis telling NASA his demands for the crew is funny and great.
- Will Patton, who plays the gambler Chick, is very good. His early scenes with TMNT Alumni Judith Hoag, aka April O'Neil from the first 1990's Ninja Turtle movies, are heartbreaking.
- Ben Affleck playing with animal crackers on Liv Tyler makes you raise an eyebrow. The belly sure is beautiful. God Bless Steven Tyler.
- The pace of the film is good. The editing is a bit quick. The acting is good but the dialogue could have definitely been improved. I read that Bay only had 16 total weeks to make the movie due to heavy interference by the movie studio.
-The physical and psychological testing scenes are funny. Udo Kier as the psychologist is different than most roles for him. He is usually the token Russian or baddie in every movie he has ever been in. His film roles and credits are astounding.
-Steve Buscemi as Rockhound is great. Check him out in everything he has ever done. He's in a league of his own regardless of how shitty a film or show may be, he is always memorable.
- The scene when Harry Stamper's armadillo explodes into space with 90's Fox sitcom Herman's head actor Ken Campbell aka Max still in it and the world gets ready to lose all hope, when suddenly Affleck's batmobile, I mean Armadillo shows up. Made me root for Willis.
- The winding down nuclear time bomb scene was adrenaline inducing. I know its cliche but Bay has to keep the attention deficient folks awake for the pivotal final scenes.
- The emotional goodbye scene from Liv Tyler and Bruce Willis is touching. Liv really does push the emotional thing to the next level. I'm still trying to figure out why Bruce Willis got the Razzie for worst actor that year. He is decent is Armageddon. Matthew Broderick in Godzilla, Jerry Springer in The Ringmaster, or even Howie Long in Firestorm would have been legitimately more suited for that Razzie.
-The space shuttle returning with the cliched slow-mo walk is awesome. The music is great. It was sweet seeing Grace and AJ reunite. My strings going to my heart definitely got pulled a little, when the little boy runs to his dad from behind the truck.
- Lastly, William Fichtner is the man. Bad guy or good guy, that guy can act. He was recently on an awesome show called 'Crossing Lines', which you can stream the first two seasons on Netflix. Anyway, his introduction with the comment about the crew being the wrong stuff was funny. The scene with the gun in space was awesome. The red and blue wire diffusion scene was yet another scene to keep you awake.
IN CONCLUSION, WHAT I GATHERED:
A lot of Fun, Its purposely Schlocky for sheer entertainment. It's loaded with hokey tearful goodbyes and reunions that still feel sincere. Its over-the-top awesome action and explosions keep you from falling asleep or even shutting your eyes for a sec. Its not meant to be great movie to watch, it meant to be an entertaining film to enjoy.