ByDavid Caracciolo, writer at Creators.co
I write (hopefully) humorous reviews/commentary on the latest news, films and TV sprinkled with a healthy dose of pop culture references.
David Caracciolo

I remember a time when the idea of superheroes such as Thor, Captain America, Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk all sharing the screen at the same time was laughed at as something that could never actually happen, like an Abbott government. So in 2008, when Marvel revealed plans to assemble just such a film, millions of geeks around the world passed out from the resulting nerdgasm. Finally, they had something else to look forward to other than one day losing their virginity.

Marvel had found the G-Spot or the geek spot with the first Avengers hulk-smashing the box-office to become the 3rd highest grossing film of all time. In that outing, the Avengers saved the world from an alien invasion. This time around, the threat comes from within. In more ways than one as our beloved protagonists begin to turn on one another like an episode of the Real Housewives. Unlike the latter though, there is room for character development in this franchise.

Our once tight knit team in tights begin to show cracks and it’s not pretty.
Our once tight knit team in tights begin to show cracks and it’s not pretty.

Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man creates Ultron, a peacekeeping program that will take care of the baddies so, “we don’t have to.” Regardless of the ethical implications, you have to admire his skills in job delegation. Needless to say, things go horribly wrong when the program develops a mind of it’s own. After downloading everything the Internet has to offer, Ultron comes to the conclusion that the human race is doomed and must be stopped. It’s hard to argue with his reasoning, imagine all the Instagram food posts this poor guy would've had to endure.

This highly intelligent being, with complete dominion over the Internet, then goes on to execute one of the most absurdly convoluted plans to destroy the world ever committed to film. With so much of our lives’ dependent on technology, you’d think he’d hatch a more sophisticated scheme. In fact, there are trillions of more effective ways you could bring on humanity’s demise. From turning off every mobile, manipulating bank accounts to changing everyone’s Facebook status to ‘it’s complicated’ and watching the carnage unfold.

So it’s up to our heroes to once again save the day from a threat of their own creating. Even Ultron’s sidekicks, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch owe their villainy to Stark. Which makes you wonder who the real ‘bad guy’ is in this whole escapade. If you ask me, it isn't Ultron. He’s not evil, just misunderstood. Despite being made of phony parts he does have some human qualities like narcissism, self-doubt and the need to alter his body into more twisted versions of himself. Kinda like this guy….

Bruce Jenner and Ultron have a lot in common. Both appear to be powered by artificial intelligence.
Bruce Jenner and Ultron have a lot in common. Both appear to be powered by artificial intelligence.

But amid all the chaos of battle there’s still time for our heroes to take their costumes off and get their freak on. Bruce Banner goes from being the incredible sulk to the eligible hulk in the eyes of new love interest, Black Widow. The only female member of the team, she has an affinity with Smurfette, flirting with every bloke in her squadron. But in spite of her shapely assets, she’s not getting much love on Tinder. Now I’m the last person who should be giving dating advice but calling yourself ‘Black Widow’ might be the problem.

Black Widow possesses the greatest superpowers known to man, her breasts.
Black Widow possesses the greatest superpowers known to man, her breasts.

You have to marvel (see what I did there?) at the full scale of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe or as geeks put it, the MCU. Juggling so many characters in one film is a hulk-like task and director, Joss Whedon, does a great job keeping it all together while setting up the future of Marvel’s vision. Speaking of which, the Vision is actually the name of the latest superhero to join the cast of thousands! This film introduces characters at such a relentless pace, even the lightning fast, Quicksilver, can’t keep up.

Thankfully, there’s enough action, humor and special effects to keep the nerds at bay and the most casual fan satisfied. I can’t imagine what it’d be like if this was your intro to the MCU. It’d be like Ultron tapping into the web for the first time, talk about sensory overload. Do not watch this film if you haven’t seen at least the original Avengers. You may leave the cinema wishing to kill your fellow humans. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing if I didn't rely on them to read my crappy film reviews.

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