ByEgon Mildenberg, writer at

Nick Reilly showed us exactly what kind of a hero he is ('cough' villain 'cough, cough'), and you can read up on his antics here. Thanks for sharing your heroic desire to annihilate the population of the Earth, but move over! There is one villain here who will stand proud and declare his evil to the world.

So having to declare my 3 superpowers as well as who my arch-enemy is seems like generally a bad decision for any evildoer; that's the kind of information you should really be keeping to yourself if you plan to enter the Evil League of Evil. I might as well start monologuing till you....actually, that's my first power right there!

My Three Supervillain Abilities!

First up, a classic that many modern villains omit from their repertoire.

Infinite Monologuing

Villains traditionally go on and on about their plans and divulge exactly how they plan to conquer the world to the captured hero. Their mistake is to use it as an ego-boost and take their eyes off their captives. My powers of infinite monologuing are so finely tuned that the constant stream of babble are enough to bore any seasoned hero to death. I have a dungeon full of chained skeletons trying to cover their ears and corpses rolling their eyes to prove it!

Near-Accurate Intelligence

Attention to detail and being informed is something no real villain has the time or the patience for. To steal a line, we just DO things. My highly developed sense of near-accurate intelligence allows me to know many things....fairly well. Opinions are the same as facts, if you dress them in the well-tailored suit of authority. It's how I recruit most of my minions, by dazzling and confusing them with approximate knowledge. Leaving heroes scratching their heads in bewilderment is also the perfect opportunity to strike them with my final power.

Apathy Ray

The ultimate tool in my arsenal! If all else fails, I hit them with a concentrated beam of apathy. Anyone caught in it's path will immediately lose the will to do anything of meaning. Heroes question their purpose and assume a fetal position as any sense of morality or caring for others dissipates into nothing. To top it all off, the apathy is so strong that even funny cat videos can not console them! Never has a power had a more drastic consequence!

My Arch-enemy

There is only one enemy worthy of my time. The one I fight against every hour of every day. The fight continues till one of us falls at the hand of the other.


We are all plagued by them, from childhood to the grave they are our constant companions. At a young age I discovered the evil behind them, taking me away from the video games I wanted to play as our garden needed mowing. I swore that very day that I would not rest till all responsibilities had been eradicated and everyone could live a truly free life! It is my duty, my calling, my responsibility.........wait a second....

And there you have it, my evil laid bare for the world to see. It is now time for you to share where you belong. Do you fight against the forces of good with me, or do you stand with the heroes? I'd like to know from the following Creators:

  • Jack Reneau
  • TJ Smith
  • Joshua Etchison

Have fun!


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