ByEli Walton, writer at
I am over 525,600 years old, I reside in a wardrobe that doesn't lead to Narnia because it's a T.A.R.D.I.S, I am also a 400 foot tall purple

Suicide Squad: My Variation

Clearly, the world has a thing for team ups. For example: the Justice League, Batman Incorporated, the Avengers, the Great Lake Avengers, Avengers East, Avengers West, Green Lantern Corp or any Corp for that matter, JLA, X-Men, etc. Just to name a few. However, there's nothing cooler than seeing a team up consisting of the biggest bad asses from all of villainous history. This is pretty much what the original Suicide Squad is. DC Comics decided to have some of their greatest villains, who aren't that important (except Harley Quinn of course), team up and go on impossible missions that would have to be completed 100%, even if it meant their own death, hence the title Suicide Squad. Now, they are making a Suicide Squad movie with a killer cast. If you don't know about it... What? Have you been living under a rock? Anyways, it's obvious that the part of the human race that appreciates team ups, Geeks, would obviously try and concoct their own versions of the Squad. This is what I am doing, so hopefully you enjoy this as much as Wednesday Addams would enjoy a good shot of arsenic.

Lets begin, shall we?

Member #1: Ultron (obviously)

Ultron, IGN's 23rd Greatest Comic Book Villain
Ultron, IGN's 23rd Greatest Comic Book Villain

Ultron, the ultimate, evil android/alternate intelligence. If you like a long daddy issue soliloquy or constant ranting of evil plans that could destroy the world and/or the universe then Ultron is your guy. He's just not nice. At all. From his first appearance in Marvel Comics in Avengers #54 in 1968 as the Crimson Cowl, which was actually a hidden cameo, to his most recent appearance in the 2015 film Marvel's The Avengers: Age of Ultron directed by Joss Whedon. You just don't mess with Ultron. He's in control of the Masters of Evil, is known for creating the Vision, and, as I mentioned earlier, has a serious Oedipus Complex.

Ultron is the perfect leader of my Suicide Squad, mainly because he'd throw a major psychopathic, temper tantrum if he wasn't in charge. He is a calculative, genius which is perfect for making plans for missions, he possesses a natural evil charm perfect for negotiating, and people would probably surrender immediately to you if you walked into a room with him in the lead. Also there's the fact that his body is made of a mixture of adamantium and vibranium making him nye indestructible and super strong. So much so in fact that only the Hulk is able to defeat him in many storylines, such as the actual Age of Ultron comic. The only downside is that he has a tendency to monologue. He also loses in every major conflict he's in, but he does leave a few problems. Not to mention the fact he's the perfect scape goat for things like retconning or secret origins.

Member #2: Ozymandias (duh)

Ozymandias, IGN's 21st Greatest Comic Book Villain
Ozymandias, IGN's 21st Greatest Comic Book Villain

I mean aside from being one of the few villains to win in the end (I mean did you see hoe bad it was? Sorry, hope I didn't spoil anything), Ozymandias is basically an evil version of Tony Stark, minus the armor, and a dash of Lex Luthor except add hair. Ozymandias made his first appearance in the Watchman graphic novel series in 1986. From the darkly, clever mind of Alan Moore he did creep, and he's left his mark ever since. Ozymandias is rich, a genius, calculating, durable, reflexive, and completely sociopathic. He believes the only way to save the world is kill it, at least a portion.

In the squad he would obviously be the 2nd in command, but is really pushing his motives from behind the scenes (So really he's secretly 1st? Whatever...). He's is also a calculating villain, and you may think, "Bt you already have Ultron, why do you need Ozymandias?" Well, 1. He's evil and awesome at it, 2. His plans work, so combine that with the way Ultron thinks and you've got a serious, world destroying cocktail, and 3. Variety. Ultron is Marvel and Ozymandias is DC, so there. Ozymandias is a fighter, and I know that he would kick major ass with Ultron as his team mate. I mean just think about it... (Cue Ultron and Ozymandias running towards each other on a burning flower field) Or they'd destroy each other.

Member #3: The Valeyard ("Who?" You ask. "Doctor Who", I answer.)

The Valeyard, he's not in comics, still evil though
The Valeyard, he's not in comics, still evil though

The Valeyard is an evil version of the Doctor somewhere before his 12th and final regeneration. The Valeyard hates everyone, including other time lords and his own past selves. He basically sucks, a lot. He was first seen in the Doctor Who episode The Ultimate Foe in, I knew it was going to be the same as Ozymandias, 1986. He had been called to testify against the Doctor, 6th incarnation, in a trial by the other time lords in exchange for the Doctor's remaining regenerations. This would allow the Valeyard to get rid of his other self and free himself from the influence of his past selves' good natures. However, he attempted to kill everyone at the trial, but was stopped by the Doctor. He escaped and was never seen again. Some think that the character the Dream Lord, who appeared on the Doctor Who television show recently, was actually the Valeyard regenerated, but this was never confirmed.

The Valeyard is a warrior and will do anything it takes to succeed in his nefarious schemes. His team mates would not see him as a threat, but he would be scheming behind their backs the entire time. In this case he's very similar to Amanda Waller. I don't know why none of my team's members like each other, but I think the more they hate each other, the more they would get stuff done. He can fight, plan and withstand attacks for a long time, you know regeneration. I think this team needs a girl.

Member #4: Mystique (...............Yes...)

Mystique, IGN's 18th Greatest Comic Book Villain.
Mystique, IGN's 18th Greatest Comic Book Villain.

Mystique, how do I begin to describe Mystique. "Mystique is flawlessly blue. Her hair is insured for $500 because it's so changeable. One time, she kicked me in the face... It was awesome." Mystique is beautiful. I have wanted to be her ever since I was little, so I have an obligation to have her on this list. Mystique is Mutant and Proud, able to shape shift into anyone's appearance, skilled in hand to hand combat as well as martial arts, and holds an advanced proficiency when it comes to being a marksman. She first appeared in Ms. Marvel #16 in 1978. She was most recently portrayed by actress Jennifer Lawrence in the film X-Men: Days of Future Past. I doubt that there isn't anywhere that she couldn't get into. Also she's bisexual, making her relationships some of the most varied in Marvel Comics.

On this team Mystique is pretty much the Harley Quinn and Deadshot. She can use her shape shifting abilities to sneak into the target's base of operations, fight her way out if necessary, and hold the group together like Black Widow and the Avengers. She'd also probably have an affair with Ozymandias, which would result in a child worse than Graydon Creed, but much more awesome.

So there we have it.

1. Ultron would lead the group through negotiations, fighting, and planning.

2. Ozymandias would help with plans, fight when necessary, and show off a lot of money needed for funding.

3. The Valeyard would be the Amanda Waller, and stay at the base, overseeing the events from behind the scenes, similar to Thanos actually.

4. Mystique would get the team in and fight to get out, she can also spy and sniper anyone if necessary.

I guess my team up isn't all that great. For example, an earlier plan of the team included Syler and the Ghosts from Pac-Man, but I hope the commentary and whole Article amused you, whoever reads this. If you were wondering how I got all the information, I knew most of it, and there's this thing called Wikipedia. Also Tardis Data Core, love that site. I doubt anyone will read this, but if you do and you want to leave a comment, do so below. If you want to be a troll and leave a hateful waste of data then...."Thank you for giving me something I can use... To wipe my ass with." So long and thanks for all the fish. Bye-Bye!!!


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