ByBJ Hall, writer at
I write Comedy, Do Stand-up, Travel Through Time, and enjoy the FUCK out of a good movie! Twitter: @InitiallyDirty FB: https://www.facebook.
BJ Hall

First things first, i would like to say this is a really cool idea for a contest. Enough so that I broke my hiatus of not writing anything and concentrating on my comic and stand up material to jump into it. I like the idea of taking it from any universe.

Saying that i have been seeing a lot of people with basically GODS on their squad, and will laugh thoroughly if one of those articles pull off the win. Mostly because at the heart of a Suicide Squad is the fact that they all are forced to work for a single entity to accomplish a goal. Gods, or characters who are "Basically Gods" in my opinion could not be captured and held with the threat of death being their primary motivation for following the orders of that entity. So in the spirit of that I have put together a list of characters I believe could be motivated to work together, or in the least be formidable to almost any situation without going overboard in prowess and choosing characters like (Sauron, Galactus, etc.).

To me, there are 4 distinct types you need to make a good team since we are limited to 4 choices only: The Mastermind, The Enforcer, The Vixen, and The Wild Card - So I have broke this list down in those 4 slots to fill.

I hope you enjoy the read, and be sure to check out my Sarcastic Suicide Squad list I am doing as a companion to this list. Just because There are some I would like to see work together, despite possibly not being the best of the best, but what i believe to be pretty funny and powerful choices. I tried to think "what Would That Bad Guy Do From Last Action Hero?" and went from there...

The Mastermind - The Leader (Marvel)

aka The Forehead of Doom!
aka The Forehead of Doom!

NAME: Samuel Sterns
RACE: Human

  • Genius-Level Mastermind and Genetic Engineer
  • Superhuman Intelligence and Probability Evaluation
  • Psionic Powers

The Leader in my opinion would be one of the greatest Masterminds a team could have. Super Smart to the point of clairvoyance, along with the ability to overpower someone's mind from a distance makes him not only a organizer, but a force in his own right. I went through a lot of choices, ranging from Brainiac, Vandal Savage, and Mister Sinister - but even though they all have their pros, the fact that The Leader can run through all possible scenarios before the teams even attacks a situation.... well that alone would make him the one who should lead a team like this! I mean hell... His name is THE LEADER after all!


The Enforcer - Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

aka Hockey Hulk
aka Hockey Hulk

NAME: Jason Voorhees
RACE: Human/Spirit of Vengence

  • Immortal-ish
  • Fast Walk
  • Machete Swing
  • Unlimited Endurance
  • Unrelenting Strength
  • Sense Sexual Activity Between Teenagers from a Distance

Yeah, I know what you are thinking - "Didn't he just say they have to have a way to be controlled?" - Yes I did, but I also saw Freddy vs Jason so I know he can be controlled. Yeah, they might have to put him inside a box and airlift the fucker in there... but he can be controlled. The truth is, the The Leader could control him just by putting him to sleep and then making him see his mother with nothing but a thought. So yeah... Jason "Mo'fucking Choppy Chop" Voorhees is my pick for the enforcer portion of the team.


The Vixen - Queen Akasha (Queen of the Damned)

aka Almost Naked but Dont Tell Her
aka Almost Naked but Dont Tell Her

NAME: Akasha, Queen of Vampires
RACE: Vampire (Day Walker)

  • Ageless
  • Healing Factor
  • Utterly Destroy other Vampires with a Wave
  • Flight
  • Super Strength
  • Super Fast
  • Manipulation of Blood

I love this lady of vampires, because she was independent till the end. She did what she wanted, and no one could really stop her... or were scared too anyhow because she was killed relatively easily considering how much she was talked up by the other vampires who knew of her. To a human though, she would be extremely hard to kill, but you would have a good chance considering she wouldn't be able to burst you into flames and ashes at the lift of a finger. But you best be Ajax strength and might if you believe her to be taken out by a human. She is one of the baddest lady movie villains of all time, because she is like Blade without all the "I hate myself" attached, and that is why she makes the list.


The Wildcard - Tetsuo (Akira)

aka No.41
aka No.41

NAME: Tetsuo
RACE: Human

  • Reality Manipulation
  • Telepathy
  • Telekinesis
  • Rage

I was thinking more of Tetsuo from the earlier points in the flick where he is just learning he has his abilities, but then I was like "Fuck it, Wildcard!" simply because all you would have to do would create something that attached to him that suppressed his abilities (sort of like Firestorm from The Flash TV Show) which i am sure he would welcome, but he is sort of a wimp emotionally so the madder he gets the more powerful he would get, and the more powerful the more the madness would take him. But, even without all that big baby shit, when he is fighting the tanks, and the people trying to kill him before replacing his arm with scrap metal using his mind.... well thats the Tetsuo the group would want to shoot for, and I am sure that is something within The Leader's capabilities.... but whether they would get that, I do not know - WILD CARD BITCHES!!!


I hope you enjoyed the list!


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