ByErik Silgman, writer at
I was raised on Friday the 13th
Erik Silgman

I have assembled a team of freedom fighters that will be hard to contend with. I'm not sure you will be able to contain these soldiers, but the enemy will be shaking in their boots nonetheless.

Linda Blair (post demonic possession)

I'm not sure how you go to battle with this monstrosity, but you better bring a priest named Timmy with you. She will psychologically destroy the enemy, and then spew pea soup all over their faces. She can levitate, exhibit inhuman strength, use telekinesis, and she speaks several foreign languages. This 12 year old will make an excellent soldier despite her youth.


Obviously we need someone on the team to keep Linda Blair focused and motivated. There could be no better selection the the proclaimed "taker of children." What will become of the enemy, when a demon from hell eats their children's souls? I'm not sure they will be able to fight on after Bughuul gets enters the war.

The Lawn Mower Man

We need a soldier who is keen on technology. This is a highly technological era, and this guy owns the field. He will enter the enemies' mainframe, and use it against them. When he is done with that, he will pop out of their hardware and shoot them up with some high voltage fireworks. The lawn mower man will make an excellent asset, and excellent asset indeed.


I feel as though our team of hell fighters will need a pet. You know, something that they can feed and love while destroying the enemy. I think a Rancor could make a better pet than a dog because he doesn't shed much, and he pretty much takes care of himself. Would you want to take on this elite team of task fighters? I can safely say that I would not. I'm pretty sure that this team would even send Ash from The Evil Dead, running for the hills.


Latest from our Creators