ByToby Dorman, writer at
Yes. I'm That Good.
Toby Dorman

Obviously I'm a big fan of the Suicide Squad, that's kinda why I'm making this article. Also because there is a competition, and its fun and I really have nothing better to do.

Now I'm not going to go for obvious choices, not classic villains like Darth Vader or combine them with people like Moriarty who clearly can't be in a combat situation himself but doesn't work with the others. I'm going to go for what I think not only make up an interesting combination which I would LOVE to see but also what seems strategically sound. A squad which could actually viably function in a black-ops level mission. These picks I have thought long and very hard about considering many archetype roles like:

  • The Leader
  • The Medic
  • The Tank
  • The Engineer
  • The Hacker
  • The Scout
  • The Spy
  • The Explosive/Weapon Expert
  • The Mastermind

So here are my picks:

The Clockwork Assassin (Hellboy)-The Leader/The Assassin


Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, more commonly known as 'The Clockwork Assassin', was a high ranking Nazi who has lived for decades using his mind to gradually transform his entire body into a wind-up doll. In a black-ops unit it is absolutely essential to have a leader who can think quickly, fend valiantly and rally up his team and who is better than he. He is a master strategist thanks to his many years in combat and the military, an extremely deadly fighter after years of training and body modifications to the point to take on Hellboy and since he's basically no-longer a human he doesn't share weaknesses (including being shot which has been proven to have zero effect on him). This solidifies him as the head of my little posse.

Jaws (James Bond)- The Brawler


A team, especially one such as the Suicide Squad, needs straight up fighters, not just fighters but tanks. A good team needs a guy that can not only take hits but deal them right back out with deadly damage usually dubbed 'The Brawler'. Jaws can fit this role perfectly, he's like a missile, you point him in the right direction and he will wreck sh*t up. He has the potential to work incredibly with the Clockwork Assassin because he knows full-well where to point.

Dr. Horrible- The Medic/The Genius


Other important roles include that of the medic and the engineer (or the other interpretations like the technie or the hacker) and Dr. Horrible is a god-damn bona fide genius of the highest order. Dr.Horrible here not only can provide the medical duty but also the tech-support, weapon creator and data collection. Dr. Horrible fills that much needed intelligence gap in the taskforce. With his extreme level of intellect he could probably use scraps in a cave to create a death-ray of mega death which would be extremely useful for missions and god damn perfect for the Suicide Squad.

Tyler Durden(Fight Club)-The Wildcard


Now there is nobody in any piece of fiction that is more perfect for the Squad. In practically every single iteration of Task Force X there is a wildcard (like Harley Quinn) who is literally there to cause chaos, especially if the mission goes south. Tyler Durden would function all to well in this role, if they got caught in an undercover mission he might just set himself on fire to let them escape, blow everything in his path up. Tyler's twisted philosophical soul would mould right in to this crazy lot.

These individuals if brought together would make, in my humble opinion, the greatest Suicide Squad ever. It's all there: a damn fine leader, a beast of a man, a insane genius and a wildcard which gives a whole new meaning to the definition. A team like that could accomplish any mission. Am I right?


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