Tales From the TurboCave
Evolution awoke that day with the feeling that something wasn't right. Something was missing from the Turbo Cave lately and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
No, it wasn't Phantom who had been gone for almost a month on some silly quest of his. He'd *blinked* in from time to time to help in different wars.
Since the assault on the HOI compound, and the teamup of Turbulence and some of the 5th Precinct, and some other heroes it had been one war after another with a multitude of opponents. Area 51, UM and a few other minor skirmishes all littered with the token hero or heroine getting their panties in a wad.
Some had come and gone, like Sin, Aingealag and Spookshow. Some had stayed, like Bigeasy and Vortex.
Evo had thought and thought about what was missing...and had an idea… The league had hardly gotten together for a party as of late. Sure they'd met at Rainbows, and the private Turbo Cave bar after numerous fights and had drank themselves into a stupor, but it wasn't quite the same.
They'd not had a knock-down, drag out party in quite some time just to do it.
After some talk with Obsidian and Pink, Evo had begun to formulate a plan to turn things around. She took off out of the Turbo Cave with an idea in mind, and began to make preparations for something big....
After consulting with Cap, and getting his approval she went to the Bass Foundation stationary department and had some invitations made up.
Within a couple days they were ready, and Evo began mailing them all out to every member of Turbulence, some members of Burning Daylight Labs and some former members, such as Sin, and Aingealag.
The invitations were simple, directions and a simple description of what was to be expected.
"Bring yourself, bring beer...and donuts."
Place: Turbo Lounge Bar and Grill
Would they show up?
Would the party be what people needed?
Only time would tell, but Evo hoped so…
I had heard about Evo's little shindig plan ...yeah, so I have been busy with my little quest, but RL continues no matter what.. but the invite had been scanned and emailed to my wrist computer ... Now I had a problem.
If I turned up without completing my quest ..would I ever achieve my goal? If I didn't turn up would Evo ever forgive me?
I knew an awesome donut store ..SHC Mall had the donut store to end all donut stores ... Callay and the MALL Cops expanding waistlines were testament to that. I knew good beer ... hell I am me ....
But ... I had stuff to do… and if I finished my quest, wouldn't this be the party to end all parties?
My last thought as I flicked my wrist comp off and prepared to make a serious move on my quest ... could I bring some friends? I had made a few since embarking on my one man crusade ... there were sure to be one or two more before I finished!
"Sin, some girl sent out an invite to a cave?"
*Yeah, I heard, was she dressed?*
"yeah, what does tha-"
*disregard for now, wait for the "real" invite.*
"Of course... Sin, right?"
*You got it, numbnuts, now fetch us a sammich.*
Bob walked into the office and through the security checkpoint. He scanned his badge and got in the elevator, where he was too shy to hit on Debra for the eleven-hundredth time. He arrived at the twentieth floor and and went to the conference room.
"Welcome everyone, status reports are being handed out. For those
of you selected for special projects, head to floor twenty-two. "
Bob was never assigned to special projects. He never got anything but the most mundane work. He opened his file and read his assignment. Standard security, blah blah blah. Some VIP party blah blah blah.
"Turbulence Bar and Grill." Bob was blown away. This was big, he could be around the movers and shakers. These were the very people his ultimate boss had signed on with. Of course Bob wouldn't see him there, NightHawk had been missing for months but still this was huge for him, who had been stuck in the private security equivalent of middle management for what seemed like his whole life.
Bob stood up after his direct commander stopped talking about some dimensional anomaly or something or another and headed to the armory. The file held a special pass key and a note from Tom Bradshaw, his only real friend in the world. Bradshaw ran an Research and Development team on Basement 2.
"Hey Bob, I know some things haven't been going too well
for you with the divorce and all. So when this opportunity
arrived I thought of you. You'll be running this op and there's
some special gear for you too. -Bradshaw"
Bob pulled out the passkey which read Locker Thirty-four. Locker thirty-four was more of a room. Bob had never seen inside. Outside of his NightGuard Armor and the special weapons storage for the occasional temporary use Bob hadn’t seen much of the Armory at all. He scanned the pass code, scanned his eye and thumb print, and spoke his name.
The doors slid open with a whoosh, and Bob beheld a sleek nine ft tall power suit. There was a data pad nearby with the specs. Bob skimmed over it, seemed it magnified its users strength twenty-fold and was made of Burinium with an outer layer of Adamantium. It connected to your brain, allowing it to respond to your thought. There were force fields, stun cables, and a bevy of support abilities. In addition it allowed a large array of weapons to be attached to it. And the pass gave Bob free rein in the special weapons room.
Bob looked up and smiled as he said, mostly to himself, "Thanks Tom."
“So this party,” Pink said, flopping herself down on Obsidian's easy chair without asking. Obsidian looked up from her desk where she was doing some paperwork. Pink hadn't bothered with knocking, in fact she was pretty certain Pink hadn't bothered with acknowledging that the door had been locked, just picked the lock and walked in. Obsy was more than capable of reducing intruders to a wisp of smoke so she didn't bother with security much but all the same.
“The party?” she replied
“You know, the one Evo's organizing. Just wanted to touch base with you.”
“Oh that party!” Obsidian stopped trying to figure out the HR forms and set them on fire instead. Smiling she turned to face Pink properly. “It's gonna be great!! Relying on you to be there Pink!”
“Yeah, yeah, party, I'll be there. I just wanted to check about the arrangements. Evo's off getting her hair done so I thought I'd make sure she'd covered all the bases. She's gonna be hours, you know what her hairdressing appointments are like....they run into shopping trips and full body massages”
“What arrangements?” Obsy frowned. “Evo just decided to throw a party and asked everyone to bring beer and donuts.”
“Well that's a start right there,” Pink pulled a notepad out “Who's everyone? Evo invited Turbos and old turbos or them plus the people we're friendly with, or the whole of SHC or what?”
“Anyone who wants to come, I think...” Obsidian looked confused “...,Does it matter?”
Pink made a note on her pad “Check, guests: Everyone invited”
“Well I just need to make sure she invited the heroes as well as the Turbos and the villains. The wolves are always good fun. And the pirates. And I'll invite the Gimbles in case she didn't. Fifth Precinct as a whole are a fun bunch really... hopefully, Solo'll do some karaoke again.”
“Super-powered sisters. There's loads of them. They're very pretty and wear hardly any clothes. They love a good party.”
Obsidian's face split in a wide grin “They sound like MY kind of girls.”
Pink made an extra note on her pad “Invite the SuperHero City University cheerleaders”.
“Ok, now entertainment. What's Evo booked?”
“Entertainment? We got beer and donuts and good people what more do you need?”
“Hold on,” Pink turned a page in her notepad “Strippers... male... female... dwarf....” she winced briefly “Karaoke machine, bouncy castle...”
“Sure.” Pink looked bemused “EVERYONE loves a bouncy castle. We'll set it up in the docks near where that crappy old boat used to be parked.”
“OK we'll use the turbo-lounge as the chill-out zone with the supernatural dvds on constant loop. … Twister in Cap's room, he hardly ever actually uses it.... and the office/torture suite, I'll make sure there's plenty of paper towels in there... the way that room gets used in a party....”
“Pink are you sure this is necessary?”
“We're having a good old-fashioned Turbo-party aren't we? Stuff gets messy.... OK so we can't do much about making people check weapons or continuity altering time travel machines in at the door but I'll advise the insurers, make sure the entire computer suite are moved elsewhere – off-site, and have the Bass Foundation medical staff on standby....moving on... catering.”
“It's BYO donuts.” Obsidian rubbed her head... the memories of the last Turbo-party she'd been to were coming back and she was wondering whether she'd really eaten an entire whale.
“That's not going to cut it.” Pink frowned “Sin'll be here so we'll need sandwiches too.... Lucifer's likely to start screaming for virgins if we don't have any on the guest list... and I know for a fact that Chad Rockwell has a thing for marshmallows. Then I'll get hungry after a few hours of moshing and break into the kitchen cupboards, Celsius will sulk if we don't have any petrol in and you KNOW what he's like when he sulks.... I'll book cheese, wine, nibbles and virgins for fifty.”
“You're right, Buckeye Dove gets bad tempered if he's not full, I'll make it a hundred and fifty. And A few hundred liter barrels of gasoline, some crude oil and a whale and we'll be sorted.”
Smiling happily, the pink-flame-headed super bustled out of Obsidian's room and went to get started making the “extra arrangements”....
Chad Rockwell carefully used magic to scan the invitation that had come to him. He trusted Pink, but she was known for being a bit of a practical joker at times, so safety measures were required in his dealings with her and Turbulence. Unfortunately it had come while he and Zerocurew were on their quest to help Sin regain his memories so Chad sent a magical activation signal to a secret hidden part of Ice Ray Academy. It opened up to reveal a perfectly duplicated clone of Chad complete with all his abilities and memories, but a little bit emotionally unstable. Since he had never been to this rumored cave, Chad's clone decided to dress in style by donning a blue robe covered in stars with a walking staff with a crystal globe on top of it, as he best figured would not make him look too suspicious. Then he used his magic to begin the recipe for a special brand of doughnuts not found in Super Hero City. "Sin may be a connoisseur of donuts, but these are an old school tradition dating back to the founding of Ice Ray Academy, hundreds of years ago.
Malashel Halos dipped in boysenberry sauce will hopefully be one he has never had before." Then, Chad dug deeply into his memories and found the recipe for Arcian Red, which back in its day in the Middle Ages was the wine of choice for drinkers.
"What, Jarvis, what?," Cap looked up, exasperated. He was in the middle of something. Something critically important. If the information Cap had gathered from his Vengersatellites was correct, this was going to be big, very big.
"Sir, It seems as though you have been invited to a party," Jarvis answered calmly.
"A party? Jarvis, you know the drill, send them my standard apology and make a charitable donation to whatever group is holding the event....now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
Jarvis didn't move.
"Ahem," he said...waiting to get Cap's attention again.
Captain Avenger knew Jarvis well enough that this wasn't going to go away. So he looked up from the monitor and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Sir, the invitation is from Turbulence. Madam Evolution is throwing a soiree and requests the pleasure of your company. Shall I RSVP in the affirmative?"
Cap sighed. Jarvis could be very...tenacious.
"Jarvis, I appreciate the offer, but I'm up to my eyeballs here in something that could change the course of the world. For years, the point man behind the initial Zigonian invasion of Earth was Lord Quasar. But trying to find him has been like trying to hold a fine mist in your hands. More than a shadow, he's been invisible. But since Quasar's latest broadcasts, I configured the Vengersatellites to run a special program designed to pick up references to him in any Zig communications. The thing has been quiet for years...but about an hour ago it lit up like a Christmas tree. There are messages beaming between every Zig installation and ship on and off-planet about Quasar...but I'll be damned if I can translate them. There is some special code being used....so while I know who they're talking about...I don't know what the hell they're saying. And George has picked a hell of a time to go off on one of his treks. I know he occasionally has to go dormant to make sure the rest of the Zig collective stays out of his head...but I could really use him...and I have no idea where he is."
Jarvis didn't move. "So, sir, shall I inform Madam Evolution that you will be attending the party alone, or shall I mention that you will have a plus one?"
"Jarvis, didn't you hear a word I said? I'm trying to crack secret Zigonian communiques concerning the architect of the invasion of Earth. We've come to know the Zigonian queen pulled the trigger, but it was Quasar who spearheaded the attack! Think of the Intel we could gain...if we could take the bastard alive!"
"Thank you sir, I'll be informing Madam Evolution you'll be arriving within the hour," Jarvis turned to go.
Cap was exasperated. "Jarvis, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE....not until I find a way to break this code."
Jarvis turned. He looked at the screen for a moment. "Sir, as you've already determined the messages contain the subject matter Quasar. Having spent hours with talking George in his native language, I see another pattern that you may have overlooked."
He pointed at the display. "There. And there. And there. Again and again...the same reference comes up...immediately following the Zigonian word for Quasar."
Cap was impressed. Within 30 seconds, Jarvis had picked up on something he'd been working on for significantly longer.
"Well, what does is say?" Cap asked.
"It says Earth, sir. Lord Quasar is coming to Earth," Jarvis moved to the Vengerelevator. As he stepped on board, he turned back to Cap. With the doors closing, he said..."I'll inform Madam Evolution that you will be arriving within the hour."
Cap was stunned.
Quasar, coming to Earth.
He had a million questions...but Cap supposed he could work them out while spending some time with his teammates.
As Cap readied to head for the Turbo-Cave, he knew there was something he had to do first. Picking up the Vengercommunicator, he punched in a code. A woman answered...and Cap said...
"May I please speak with Burning Daylight?"
TO BE CONTINUED....
The Temple of The Truth communications room.
RE: Captain Avenger
Sender: Be Awesome
I have heard that you are the most reasonable of the Turbulence Clan, The one with the truest motives and purest heart. As such I reach out out to you Captain… As another who solely seeks to protect others, to bring peace to a world in danger. I bring to you and to all the world the True Path of Peace. A way that will not only ensure the safety of all the citizens of Super Hero City but the entire world, human and metahuman. Alien and supernatural. Please Captain do not ignore me, the way your fellow Turbulence members have. Allow me to teach you so that you may teach others.
Sincerely your brother in peace
Message From The Vengercommunicator:
I'm always open to discussions and dialogue about making the world a better place. Let's get together...but we need to take this conversation elsewhere. I'm on my way to a party and don't want to ruin the mood. By the way, you are invited. Talk with you soon.
Temple of The Truth Communications room
Thank you for the quick response good Captain, and for the invite. Alas my duties here will prevent me from attending. However, , once you have some spare time, you could join me at The Temple. We would be honored to have such a distinguished guest. you will find the location contained in this message.
Sincerely your brother in peace,
The Space Pirates-
The Chameleon, along with a host of others considered less than desirable by the so-called and self-proclaimed heroes, had been duped into attacking Astronickus alone. Hopelessly outnumbered, the outlaw heroes fought tooth and nail against the onslaught. In a final offensive, Astronickus's drones pushed past their defenses and almost managed to get inside the safe zone of Earth's atmosphere.
The Chameleon stretched his body to the farthest extremes he could, so as to envelope the drones headed for Earth. In response, the drones began firing nukes. Doc Zwiggle grabbed the Amulet of the Legion from around his neck and threw it through space in the direction of The Chameleon. Inertia allowed the impossible distance to be breached, and just as a bombardment of nukes made contact with him, the amulet reached The Chameleon.
As the dust cleared, the drones were strangely missing. Not even wreckage remained where they, the nukes, and The Chameleon collided. Instead, only 1 lone figure remained. The machinery, electronics and mechanisms of the drones and nukes had been absorbed into the shape shifting form of The Chameleon. But what floated there in space before them was not The Chameleon either.
As he turned to face the Space Pirates of the S.S. Nemesis, the toon once known as Hanzo and The Chameleon came to decide upon a new persona, for the time being at least. For now he would combine his morphing powers with the power he gained with his battle with the drones and the power he gained when the nuclear explosions fused the Amulet of the Legion to his chest, to become the most dangerous Transformer on Earth!
"Who are you?" asked Doc.
"I am the Grand Theft Autobot, Optimus Crime!"
At that moment, the electronics in the Transformer's body picked up a pirated e-mail.
"Shhkk.... Awesome one...
I'm always open to discussions and dialogue about making the world a better place. Let's get together...but we need to take this conversation elsewhere. I'm on my way to a party and don't want to ruin the mood. By the way, you are invited.
Talk with you soon,
As the message ended, Doc asked Optimus, "So what now?" not sure if this new incarnation was friend or foe.
Optimus replied, "Now,...... Now we party! Why so serious Doc? It's just me! Hanzo!"
Power Bottom was at RAINBOWS, helping Lenny get ready for the night's business. Lenny walked in holding a letter, "Hey Boss, This came for you from the cave."
"The cave? Did you...?"
Lenny interrupted, "Yeah, I checked it out. No tracers magical or mundane. It never came in contact with Pink. It's not an attempt to "Test" our security. Maybe you should just read it."
PB scanned the invitation, "Looks like our presence is requested for a party. Interested?"
"You know it always gets awkward when I'm with a large group of people boss."
PB held up a scroll. "What if you could go as yourself for a night? I've been talking to Nighthawk and Transgression and a few other of the mages in town. We think we found a way to "turn off" your illusions for an evening."
"OH yeah and there is hardly any risk at all."
"What's the ris..." Lenny stopped as the scroll crumbled into ash.
"You've. Already. Cast. It. Haven't. You?" Lenny asked as the temperature of the room noticeably chilled.
"Relax Hun, Its situational. Even with my luck and the reputation of the parties Turbulence has thrown what are the chances that 100 virgins, 50 go-go dancers, 25 dozen doughnuts, 12 Malashel Halos, 6 barrels of fuel, a whale, a fortress of air, and a piece of defensive armor that has been used as a cooking implement, would show up in one place. OK, there might be two saints there, but even in this city no one would be insane enough to create a radioactive relic of shape-shifting..."
"OK boss. You win. We'll go. But you know the odds in this city, one in a million chances happen nine times out of ten."
High above SHC Dr Vermicious woke with a start.
"What? Who? Where?" He shouted at no-one in particular, which was good because no-one else was there.
"Something’s coming. Something big. And it won't end well. I can feel it in my worms. Something to do with a large building. Lots of people. Oh my. Hibernation time I think. I'll let the worms catch up with the patrol reports."
And with that he climbed back into the plastic tub and unconsciousness.
Aingealag dropped wearily into the soft cushioned chair by her bed. For just a moment she let her fingers play along the seams of the fuchsia velvet, and allowed her mind to wander. The odd colored chair was a concession to the Demon Cat, As the color was her absolute favorite. The wandering mind, could be attributed to mental replays of the book Fifty Shades of Grey that she had been reading the night before.
As she visually scanned the room, her eye caught on a cream colored envelope placed squarely on the middle of her desk.
Hmmmmmm, what is that...
Very few people knew of her new address at the Foundation HQ. She got up slowly, her knees cracking, and suppressing a small groan of pain, she walked over to investigate the square further. Eyebrows rose as she read the return address,, Turbo cave .. huh.
She carefully removed the folded paper, and could not withhold a small chuckle as she read...
A party.. Thrown by Evo.. how.. peculiar. Even odder to be invited.
It would be nice to see some of her friends in Turbulence, indeed she missed many of them. But fate, being the evil mistress she was, didn't seem to like her that day. The Foundation ladies already had plans for a girls night out that night, and although she knew Bombshell and Heroic Heidi would be welcome tag-alongs, she very much doubted there would be many turbies happy to see the Rogue.
Then again.. it might make for a fun night.....
*DUDE!! What?!? I'm watching a movie about some guy who wants his rug back.*
*Is Jackie Treehorn gonna be there? That guy makes a helluva Caucasian.*
"Jesus Christ man, how many pills did you-*
*Is it close to the In N Out Burger, man?*
A party at the Turbo Lounge Bar & Grill? mused Celsius. Could be a whole lotta fun considering what has transpired there before.
Plus no one else knows how to flame grill like I do...
I'll be going for sure.
"Soooooooo" Obsidian leaned back in the easy chair and took a long draw on her cigar.
"Sooooooo" Pink grinned happily from her perch on the table in the Turbo-den. She brushed some vamp-dust off her boots and opened a tootsie roll. "I got rid of the vampires who thought hiding up out in the Imagine Nation TV studio was a good idea. How's the party looking?"
"Captain Avenger and Jarvis are on the way, the turbo-bar is extra stocked, the invites all went out ok and the bouncy castle is Loo-King Goooooood."
"Yep." Pink grinned. "Evo's off someplace with Phantom but they'll be back here any minute." she glanced at her watch, "Ok, knowing those two it'll be about an hour's time with big cheese-eating grins and Evo will have forgotten to reduce her boob size again." she chuckled
"I LOVE when she forgets to do that" Obsidian smirked and chewed on her cigar. "So it is officially party time then?"
The thunder of footsteps from all over the turbo-cave in the general direction of the bar confirmed that diagnosis.
"What are we waiting for?" Pink leaped to her feet and grabbed Obsidian's hand. "Shots first or bouncy castle first? It's time to P-A-R-T-Y!"
There was a pounding on the Turbo-Cave door.... Pink opened it to find.....
"Yes!! You are welcome to come too!" Said Pink.
"No thanks." Dr Vermicious said in his usual curt manner. "Keep it down."
STRETCH. And he was gone.
"Night Guard Security, where do you want us to set up? I've got six guys and ten more outside watching the perimeter. Should we watch the door? Oh and I know we're not guests but I was told to play it safe."
Bob turned and got something from one of the other men, when he turned again Pink could see the doughnut box.
It was time. Dressed like he was, Chad magically teleported a block from the party entrance to the Turbo-cave with several huge containers filled with doughnuts and wine. Feeling perhaps a little foolhardy, he conjured up a wagon with some horses and drove to the cave. "Chad Rockwell as invited by the Postmodern Pugilist Pinkenstein," he said to the Turb at the door politely. "Ah, yes, the wizard wannabe," came the sarcastic reply back. (See Path to Power) "That's Master Wizard to you, but unfortunately I promised not to use any magic here," Chad said playing along. "Where should I put these donuts that Sin requested and the beer that Pink requested?" "I'll just take a sample of each just so I can test how real they truly are." Chad smiled and let the guard sample one donut and one cup of wine.
Several minutes later "...Go right ahead... Pink will be with you shortly..." the very zoned out guard slowly slurred. "Sorry, I should have mentioned beforehand, these are very rich foods I brought with me," Chad said as he went inside.
The Dark Wolves-
A party? At the Turbo-cave? Bring Beer and Donuts? Black Knight scans the invitation. Sounds intriguing. Never been invited to a party before. Will have to think about it for a moment..... "Ok, I'll go" he thought. "Might be nice to bring along a few friends, just in case something goes wrong."
"You were invited to a party, at the Turbo-cave? Never been to a party myself before either. Can I go?", Dark Wolf asked.
Black Knight said, "Sure you can, I've decided to bring along some friends. I could use the backup, if something goes wrong. Anyway, we are supposed to bring beer and donuts. Not a problem."
Dark Wolf: "Beer and donuts?"
Black Knight: "Yes, beer and donuts. I don't see a problem with that, it can be easily done."
Dark Wolf: "Ok. Not sure about the beer, but I like donuts. "
Dark Wolf thought that this might be a welcome break from the daily hero stuff.
LionHeart was in his starship destroyer when he received the invite for the party. He stared at the envelope carefully recognizing the writing instantaneously from an old turbo leaguemate. LionHeart wondered what was its contents and slowly opened the envelope. The contents made LionHeart reminisce the first wars with HOI, fighting alongside EVO and the older members, made him yearn for days of the past. "This party EVO is inviting me to sounds like a long overdue party. It will be epic and unforgettable. I have saved a very special strain of bud I was able to reconstruct in my labs. This should liven up the party!" LionHeart registers the party on his holographic planner and continues to train and focus on his newly learned supersaiyan techniques.
The Dark Wolves-
"I've never been invited to a party either, can I come?", said Wolf.
Black Knight, "Of course you can. We just need to bring donuts and beer."
"Donuts and beer?", said Wolf.
"Yes", said Black Knight. "That's what the invitation said."
"Ok, I'm down with that. I like donuts and beer. "
Lucifer walks into the Turbo Bar in Bermuda shorts.
A man in uniform comes up to him, 'Your invitation Sir."
Lucifer waves at him dismissively, the place where the guard once stood now held a two foot tall mouse in uniform. "Much better, Lucifer thinks."
"This will not do!" squeaks the Door Mouse. "Bob we have a code blue cheese at the door."
"Security, pah when did we ever use security" Lucifer thinks as he looks around. "This place is dead, I thought there was suppose to be a party here?" He says to no-one in particular as he walks across the massive room passing a few people on the way. He sees a stage with a Karaoke set-up on it. He remembers Phantom warbling out "You Light Up My Life",
"Hmm maybe that happened already and everyone ran out screaming." Lucifer says, "Na... it's just early. I'll bring in One Hell of a Band later to make sure Phantom doesn't get a chance to sing. ""I must admit, I agree with the Door Mouse "This will not do. Not do at all." He says as he reaches the back wall.
"We need some atmosphere" Lucifer thinks as a portion of the wall dissolves revealing a tropical beach.
"Lets see... food, yes, food"
"And drinks... don't want to have to come in here every time someone needs a drink..."
"Now we could some greeters, and i don't think a mouse would work here."
"Now some entertainment..."
"Well, this is much better... but something is still missing... oh yeah, people. Maybe if there was some candy, that would start bringing people in."
The Dark Wolves-
"We're invited to a party? Cool! Never been to a party. Too busy fighting crime."
"Yes," said Black Knight. "All we have to do is bring beer and donuts."
"Beer and donuts? Like the donuts, not sure about the beer."
"I think Lucifer wants to make it like a Hawaiian luau."
"Ooo, a Hawaiian luau! Cool! Never been to one of those either!"
Wolf's Bane conjures up images in her mind from what she's seen about Hawaiian luaus.
Dr Vermicious sat on the lip of the entrance to his cave, watching the comings and goings below. Lucifer, Chad and some rent-a-bouncers. He chuckled to himself and made a mental note to check on the possibility of running a book on the rentals. All rentals to survive unchanged? Well that one had flown. Odds of rentals being able to keep anyone out? 999,999-1, no million to one chances for these bozos. Odds of rentals giving up and joining the party when no-one was compus mentis enough to object? Odds on, something around 999,999-1.
Then the howling started up in the forest on the edge of town. Oh yeah, that is REALLY going to get the party started. Judging by the smell Chad had put significant amounts of aconite and powdered buttercup root in his marvelous concoction. Interesting to see how the Lycans react to that. The noise coming from the Lords of Anarchy penthouse promised a whole bunch of pre-partied, totally wasted karaoke fiends. An unholy noise indeed.
Then I cottoned on. Hundreds of feet of solid rock and I could hear what was going on. All the years of parties, fires, explosions, seismic events, you name it, the Turbo-cave had probably suffered it. A quick survey of my cave revealed a network of cracks and fissures that made their way throughout the mountain. Most of them were much bigger than my worms, I had found a secret wormy highway! Now, that was good news, indeed! It meant I would be able to indulge my weakness for eavesdropping and spying. Oh Lordy Lordy this would be fun!
The Dark Wolves-
Black Knight could almost see the same images in his mind that Wolf's Bane was seeing in hers. He'd never been to a Hawaiian luau either. Only seen pictures from them.
"We need a little vacation from the daily hero stuff and just relax a little", he thought.
"Party? At the Turbo-cave? Can I come too?", asks Awesome George.
"Yes", said Black Knight. "I think we all need a little break from the hero stuff and just relax a little. I think Lucifer wants to make it like a Hawaiian luau. And I thought it might be a good idea to bring some friends, just in case something goes wrong. The list of people attending do tend to be a bit.... chaotic, unpredictable."
"A Hawaiian luau? Cool! Never been to one myself. Sounds great!", said Awesome George.
Black Knight: "Yes, we just need to bring beer and donuts."
"Beer and donuts" Watching both Spike and Awesome George's response to the mere mention of beer and donuts conjures up images of Homer Simpson. Black Knight quickly shakes the images out of his head. "We have a party to go to."
"Bob! We've got a 6-23."
Bob turned around, "You’re kidding me? What kind?"
"That's a 6-24. Take one of the cars and get back to Vordain Tower."
He stepped outside and looked at the men at the perimeter. Even as he did he could hear the howls.
"You, watch the door."
Bob could here the low hum of power rods charging up as he re entered the house.
He saw Lucifer and Rockwell.
"Were gonna need more magic support. HQ, this Wallmack, requesting The Nine."
This is HQ, Wallmack your request is denied. The Nine are unavailable. You are granted a small cabal detachment.
Bob swore under his breath as he switched the grenade launcher from stun to explosive. Both chain guns were fully loaded and the X-7 nerve gas was ready to go. Now all he needed was a drink.
Alexander finished listening to the support request and walked out of the call room. He had more important things to do. The Nine had picked up large signatures at the edge of this reality. The Night Guard had been on high alert all night. Something was brewing.
Cap left a message for BD and clicked off the Vengercommunicator. He really shouldn't be using it and driving.
As always, Safety First!
Cap pulled into the parking lot at the Turbo-cave, then used his code card to open the underground reinforced parking area. The Vengercar pulled smoothly into the facility. He maneuvered to his spot and flipped off the atomic batteries and turbines.
Cap exited the vehicle and went to the back. He opened the trunk and pulled out a couple of cases of Vengerbeer on ice.
Jarvis and George were on their way with several dozen of Jarvis' homemade doughnuts. George had contributed a very nice seven-layer dip and a few bags of chips for the soiree.
Cap walked to the elevator and hit the button.
While he was looking forward to spending time with his teammates, the information he had uncovered about Lord Quasar still rattled around in his head. This could potentially be very big. He hoped BD called him back soon.
The lift doors opened and Cap stepped inside. Even though he was several levels below the party he could hear the bass thumping up and down the elevator shaft.
"This should be an interesting evening," Cap thought to himself...as the doors slid closed.
Phantom had blinked them into Evo's room to avoid the line at the door and the "security" that had been arranged.
Evo couldn't wait to show everyone the ring that Phantom had gotten her. It was gorgeous, and meant the world to her but she still had a nagging feeling of fear lingering.....
Phantom agreed to wait to announce it until Evo was ready though you could tell he was psyched to tell everyone.
As they exited her room and made their way to the Turbo-Cave bar the deafening music got louder and louder and the aromas of the donuts filled the air along with....pig?!?!
Apparently Lucifer had turned part of the cave into a luau.
The celebration was well underway by this point.
Evo surveyed the room looking for Pink and Obsidian so she could get the music halted for her and Phantom to announce their upcoming union. Finally she spotted Pink, with Obsidian beside her, drinking some cocktails and laughing. Obsidian's eyes met hers and immediately scanned down to her chest...you could see the disappointed look on her face when she realized that Evo hadn't forgotten to shrink her chest back to normal size.
Evo and Phantom made their way over to them, and after a bit of chit chat Obsidian called for the music to cease for a moment.
As Evo and Phantom made their way to the center stage she could feel all the eyes in the cave on her and Phantom.
Time seemed to stand still for a moment until Phantom took the mic and announced their engagement and the reason he had been gone for so long.
As he finished, Evo and Phantom awaited the reaction of the heroes in attendance hoping for an even bigger party than was originally envisioned.
Pink was first to her feet, clapping and cheering... Obsidian, sitting next to her, followed quickly, then X-Shadow and Corpsewake stood too, Corpsey hooting with excitement, X-Shadow clapping, slightly more restrained but still smiling happily. Across the room the rest of the Turbos joined in, then the whole room erupted in jubilation.
Five minutes later Danny the barman was snowed under with orders for celebratory drinks for the happy couple and Jarvis was on the phone to the brewery to get more Venger-champagne sent down.
First up to congratulate Evolution and Phantom personally was...
"You two make a very good fit." Chad Rockwell said as he stood in line to meet them both. "I wish you both a very happy time in the future."
Black Knight and company arrived at the party just in time to to hear the Phantom's announcement of his engagement to Evolution (well everyone called her Evo for short). Black Knight and his friends remembered Phantom Among Phantoms from before, when he went by another name, when we were in the WISE Alliance together. We each congratulated the happy couple.
Then we noticed the unique smell emanating from some of food in the area that had been converted into a Luau. Buttercups and aconite (aka: monk's hood, wolf's bane). Both are toxic. Someone must of heard us coming and put it in the food. Since both have a toxicity rating, both can be deadly to both humans and werewolves. But we aren't ordinary werewolves. We have superpowers, can transform at will, retain our intelligence, and still know magic from before we had superpowers. So Black Knight casts a spell to remove the toxins from the food. His telepathic mind discovers that it was Chad who put the toxic substances in the food. Chad clutches his head in pain as Black Knight sends him this message telepathically:
"You poisoned the food! Shame on you! Don't you realize that it's toxic to humans as well as us? Both aconite and buttercups have a toxicity rating. Both can kill humans as well as werewolves! But I fixed that. I used magic to remove the toxins. Now everyone can enjoy the food without getting sick. Now feel the pain that you could have caused!"
And with that, Chad doubled over in pain. It lasted for a few minutes, but he got the point.
As he slowly recovered from the mental attack, Chad tried to remember exactly what was in the recipes that would smell similar but was not able to bring it to mind. He sent the following quick telepathic message back to Black Knight."Like I told Dr. Vermicious, it was a total unexpected result of the magic used in fixing the recipes. The last time either item was made was a very long time ago and I did not have the exact measurements on hand from then for my tests so I had to improvise. Notice however that no one has complained so far. Feel free to have your leagues rip me personally to shreds over my miscalculated fatal error if that will satisfy your thirst for revenge. That is the only way I know how to apologize unless I find out someone else tampered with my recipes after I delivered them to the Turbo-cave. If that is the case there will be a huge reckoning!"
"Apology accepted. I have no need to exact revenge. Just gave you a little warning. We are honorable. We do not exact justice, unless it is warranted." Said Black Knight, telepathically. "And the exact dosage you put in the food would have made us very sick, but not kill us. But it might have made a few humans sick as well."
Captain Avenger proposed a toast...
"May the happy couple enjoy many years together...and in your case...that could turn out to be a very, very long time. It's an honor being your teammate and your friend."
Cap raised his glass...others in the room followed suit!
Nice party thought Space Ghost as he scanned the area. Being still in touch with his real form he just had to see how this would pan out. The beer is flowing and the donuts are being munched. Should he appear and release the Giant Wyrm. Not quite yet SSSSSSSSSoon
Sin had finally arrived, minutes before Captain Avenger gave his toast. Sin was not dressed for the occasion, as always, but did happen to find a bottle of Maker’s Mark in the locked storage shed out back, so he shared it with the pirates.
He listened as Captain Avenger made his toast and lifted his glass slowly. As he sipped his champagne, he never took his stare off him.
"Salvation awaits you still, Avenger...."
Sin retreated to his exit, a pre-existing one use by he and his minions during his time at the Cave. He grabbed another bottle of Maker’s Mark, and made his way off the property.
Ziggy and Doc arrive in style, riding in a mean looking Ferrari. As soon as they stepped out, the car suddenly transformed into a bronze and silver robot. As they walked into the party, they heard the announcement. Optimus Crime suddenly transformed again and took the shape of a full music stage, complete with sound system and lights. Music started pumping through the speakers and holograms shot out from a hidden compartment that portrayed the evening's musical entertainment.
Congrats you two lovebirds.
Celsius was running a little late to the party, so he thought he would slip in one of the old secret doors he used to use when living here. Just as he reached for the catch, who should be leaving through the very same door but Sin, bottle in hand.
"Watch it, Matchstick" growled Sin as he shoved past.
"Party any good?" queries Celsius, used to his friends gruff manner.
"Could do with a little more fire" is the response he gets before Sin disappears in a puff of brimstone.
Celsius laughs and heads towards the noise inside. He can sense the fires burning in the BBQ pits and hears the call from The Dance of the Flames beckoning. The song is weak though, muted by magic and telepathy by those in attendance. None of them want to deal with a fire elemental who has lost control, they know better...
Waving, kissing and singing his way through the crowd, he grabs a Petroltini and heads over to see how the grill is coming along. You never know who is doing the cooking here, and the ribs may need a little more char to them.
The noise was becoming quite annoying, and that was just from outside the cave. Peering down over the lip of his cave Dr Vermicious could see the source of his current irritation. A bunch of juvenile delinquents screeching donuts and pulling wheelies on a variety of motorcycles:
hogs, crotch rockets, a couple of Valkyries and even what looked like a Buell Apache Warrior
The Apache was interesting enough on it’s own, a rather restrained custom paint job, all metallic hues with “Rodimus” along the tank in beautiful cursive script. The riders were a different matter. What seemed to be a uniform of disreputable t-shirt with particularly horrible slogans ( I ♣ Seals being the least obnoxious), leather cuts with an Alpha-Omega sigil and LoA on the back and a variety of leather and denim jeans was finished off with the same steel-toed rigger boots. All in all not a pretty sight.
A right bunch of wannabe outlaw Nomads.
The good Doctor stepped from his cave and glided down to the parking lot.
“Hello chaps, and ladies. Would you mind awfully keeping it down a bit? I’m finding it very difficult to concentrate on my latest tome.”
“Didn't you get the memo, Grandpa? There’s a party on! And Evo and Spooky just got engaged! Things might just get a bit RAWKUS man!”
“That’s as may be, but I live here too, and a little consideration for your neighbors wouldn't go amiss.” The riderless Apache slid to a halt in front of him and a rough mechanical voice spoke.
“Didn't you get the invite?”
“Well, yes. Pink asked me personally.”
“Then STFU and take a chill pill. It’s your choice to be a party pooper.” And with that they went back to their play. Something snapped inside Dr Vermicious. He is on the whole an affable chap but poor manners and a lack of respect for their elders?
“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?,” the shout flattened four of the youngest before they could move. The others were a different story. They all took a pull from their bottles of Jack, threw them at him and as he automatically ducked, hit him one after the other. He woke to see their brake lights, fish-tailing back and forth as they roared off to find more fun.
Pulling the worms back together he dragged himself back up the cliff for a bit of a lie-down. God-damned kids, no respect.
Pink glanced over at Obsidian. Her favorite female friend was half-way down her third glass of champagne of the night and looking happier and more relaxed than she'd been in a while. There was no doubt about it, this party had been a great idea, and the news of Phantom and Evolution's engagement was the icing on the cake. Pink signaled Danny at the bar for refills. As usual he had anticipated this order and was placing new drinks on the table within seconds.
Across the room Evolution and Phantom were still receiving congratulations from friends and showing off Evo's massive rock. She caught Pink's eye, grinned and waved her hand, the light gleaming off of the diamond.
"Obsidian, Pink,.... on Cap's credit card as usual?" Danny grinned his usual perfect grin and tipped Pink a cheeky salute. Pink smiled. Danny was pretty well her favorite saint... not that she had many to pick from, but it was just nice knowing he was there.
"No regrets?" Obsidian had followed Pink's line of sight.
"What are you on about?" Pink was confused
"Well... you know... Phantom was interested in you first..."
"Don't be stupid. That was for all of about five minutes. And I wasn't interested in him... duh!" Pink waved at Danny who correctly interpreted her wave and carried two more glasses of champagne over to the happy couple... a quick nod from him confirmed he'd put Pink's "gift" on Cap's credit card...
"Soooo.... bouncy castle? Next?" Pink was bouncing up and down in her chair. "Ooooohhh come on Obsy... you're gonna love the bouncy castle!"
Obsidian couldn't help herself. Pink's obvious enthusiasm for the idea was infectious.
"Fine." she laughed. "Bouncy castle next."
Pink bounded to her feet and knocked back hers and Obsy's drinks. "Let's go."
They were halfway out the door when Pink doubled back. X-Shadow and Corpsewake had been peacefully playing chess in a corner in the bar. Obsidian watched as her friend careened over to them and began talking. Pink's hands were waving wildly in the air and she was up and down on her tiptoes... X-Shadow shook his head but Corpsey stood up grinning. After another couple of minutes Pink's entreaties seemed to get through to her friend as X-Shadow sighed and stood up, his expression softening as he caught sight of Pink's obvious delight at his capitulation.
".... we are going to the bouncy castle apparently," X-Shadow remarked dryly as he and Corpsewake joined Obsidian.
"Pink says the Gimble sisters were on it earlier" Corpsewake remarked.... "I like Ditzy best... how about you Obsidian?"
The thought of the luscious Gimble sisters - in their bikinis - on a bouncy castle suddenly made Obsidian very happy indeed.
Halfway down the corridor the friends stopped and stared in disbelief at the sight of a tropical beach, Hawaiian music and the smell of roasting hogs drifting towards them...
"Fucking Lucifer's always got to go one better." Pink remarked bitterly. She turned and continued towards the normal exit and the docks beyond where the bouncy castle still stood. Squeals of delight confirmed that the Gimbles at least had not yet discovered the tropical beach option.
The others looked at each other...
"Luau or bouncy castle?" Corpsewake considered... "Bouncy castle!" he ran down the corridor after Pink.
X-Shadow glanced at Obsidian... "Bouncy castle!" they chorused and followed Corpsewake.
Now that the noise of the motorbikes had gone Dr V could hear the music from the party downstairs, to be honest the playlist wasn't too bad. He could also hear a great deal of squealing and shouts from outside. Sounds of fun being had by young people again. He walked to the edge of his cave and pulled the shopping bag curtain to one side, immediately spotting the bouncy castle. It was a bit hard to miss seeing as it was not far short of life size though who the hell would build a giant day-glo rainbow castle was a bit hard to fathom. He switched over to a local feed and saw the people in question. Not the people just arriving (Pink and three others) but the young ladies on the castle already. Oh my, they were definitely fine healthy girls. It was a certainty that there was some form of miniature anti-gravity built into those bikini tops. He felt a stirring in his memories and his worms and shut off the feed. No good could come of it.
Being an old curmudgeon is fine but this is no ordinary weekend Turbo party, this is an engagement party. Dr Vermicious supposed he had better make his way down and show his face, give the couple his congratulations and some sort of present. Oh, a present. Back in the dark recesses of the cave was all the stuff he had found in the mail room in the old abandoned shipping center. Ah, just the thing, a real Swiss Fondue Set. A brilliant engagement present if ever there was one. And look, some old hessian sacking and twine to wrap it in! Marvelous. Now, just need to pick up the booze and off we go. Two bottles of real Panther Sweat whisky and a quart sized hip flask of that horrible stuff from the bottom of the bath. Whisky and pressy in bin bag, hip flask in pouch at small of back. Pouch? Never mind, I’ll figure out where that came from later. And STRETCH to the front door.
“SHIT! Where did you come from you shiny bastard? Nearly gave me a heart attack!”
“Sorry, Bob. It is Bob in there isn't it?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“Just a feeling. I seem to be able to spot Bobs a mile off. Anyway, I’m Dr Vermicious from upstairs and….”
“Yeah, we saw you get your butt kicked by the youngsters earlier on. Feeling better?” Dr Vermicious would have blushed if he could. He sincerely regretted losing his temper like he had and told Bob so.
“It’ll be fine. They’ll probably forget all about it in an hour or two, as soon as they stop laughing. In you go. Pink said you would be down.”
“Yup. Seems she knows you better than you know yourself.”
Walking past Bob, puzzling over Pink’s ready acceptance of him and his foibles, Dr Vermicious entered the Turb Cave. He moved from relative quiet into earsplitting rock.
Andrew WK if he wasn't mistaken.
Probably be the Beastie Boys next.
Ah well, as long as it wasn't Nickelback. And I’m sure we can slip an unorthodox anthem in there somewhere. Dr V made a mental note to have a word with Optimus. But first things first. Phantom and Evo. Ah there they were, sitting quietly in a booth wearing that look only the newly affianced have. He walked over and stood by their table. Clearing his throat to get their attention he proffered his present.
“Just a little token to remind you of tonight. Oh and a little something to make sure you forget most of it.”
He gave them his best grin and a small wave before wandering off to find the punch bowl. Making sure no-one saw he tipped the contents of the hip flask into the punch bowl. It was going to be a VERY friendly evening.
“Shiny! Good to see you old man. How’s G’kar doing?”
“Finding himself or some such nonsense. He’ll be back when he’s ready. Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure thing, what do you want?”
“When you can, play Monsters by Matchbook Romance. It should make for a very interesting dance floor. In the meantime I’m off upstairs. I can see the Gimble sisters on the Bouncy castle from there.”
“What really?” Optimus left in such a rush that it looked for all the world like a transforming ship leaving a wake of dancers across the floor. And with that Dr Vermicious STRETCHED back to his cave to sit back and watch the evening unfold.
Women eh? Wahay had taken four hours - FOUR HOURS - to get ready for tonight's party... She is, no argument, the prettiest girl I'd ever dated - and I've dated some real pretties - and honestly I couldn't tell the difference when she had finished blow drying and back combing her hair from when she started... heavier eye liner maybe. Shoes she could barely walk in - I loved helping her...
Finally, only a few hours late, we made it to the Turbo-Cave and got nodded in by Bob... I know Bob even in full length armor. He goes to the same after-hours diner I go to. Smokey Joe's. ALL the best cops and security go there. It's a legend. And the Full Breakfast they serve there is a legend too. When you've watched a guy scoff three of those Full Breakfasts back to back you recognize him whatever he's wearing. I asked if there was valet parking and he gave me a funny look... I wasn't happy about leaving the Ferrari out front but the look he gave me when I asked about the private car park said "wouldn't go there if I was you mate."
Wahay screamed and ran off to hug her sisters almost as soon as we got through the door. ... we work all day with them.... she'd been texting them non-stop in the car... I don't get it. Personally I find that 8 or 9 Gimble girls can go a loooooooong way...
Anyway, she had me trained by this point. I knew what she'd be wanting so I went off to find the bar.
The barman was a cheerily good looking fellow. "Hi I'm Danny, what'll it be?" he asked sliding a bottle of champagne my way... I shot him a look.... I mean, I know, I know. Hot guy like me, I'm always getting gay guys hitting on me.. and I got nothing against them, just they're not my type...
"One absinthe, one pint please." ... Pint of beer is the only proper man's drink there is... "And I've got a girlfriend mate so thanks but no thanks on the champagne."
Danny laughed. Smarmy git. I hated him already. "That's not for you... it's for the happy couple. You'll be wanting to get them a drink and a congratulations present so you'll be wanting the champagne to cover both." He'd already poured the pint. I checked the head surreptitiously but it seemed fresh. I took a slurp. Vengerbeer IPA. lovely.
"What happy couple?"
Danny seemed to be pouring another pint already. "Those two over there" he nodded. I glanced in the direction he was nodding at and dropped my pint. All over my Italian leather shoes. It was Phantom among Phantoms!! The copper who'd hired me into MALL COPS! then gone deep undercover in Turbulence... in fact it was rumored he'd gone native.... And the bride to be .... EVOLUTION! One of Turbulence's leaders... what the hell....? In a split second I grasped it... He really was deep undercover... so deep he'd had to ask the woman to marry him.... was she pregnant? She certainly had some fierce looking guns...
"Errr thanks..." I accepted the replacement pint from Danny - how had he known? - paid for the champers and Wahay's absinthe and strolled over to the booth where the "happy couple" were gazing into each other's eyes... act casual Felix... act casual... one day it'll be you in deep and hoping no-one blows your cover.
"Congratulations, Sir, Ma'am..." I said handing over the champagne. "Err... if I may be so bold sir I wish you'd give me some tips. Wahay won't even let me call her my girlfriend...."
"What?" Phantom had barely heard me... "Er... err.... well.... ask her father first. ALWAYS ask her father first."
Evolution giggled "Oh you" and turned her face into his for a snog. I tipped him a wink and a salute to let him know I wasn't going to say anything and walked away, my head spinning...
Ask her father.... There was a Mr Gimble? A Gimble Senior... I needed to talk to my partner, Wahay's brother, Borogrove Gimble the third and fast!
Small units, similar to the main mass, broke free from Optimus Crime and made their way towards the sound of someone complaining. As they followed the voice, they found themselves in less populated parts of the caverns. It wasn't long before they had located Dr. Vermicious. As soon as they did, they transformed into a smaller version of the stage the main body had transformed into down stairs.
"Shhkk...." screeched the speakers, "Dr. this one's for you..... shkkk"
Meanwhile, in the bouncy castle, Obsidian sat there thinking how great all this was, made better only by the presence of the 2 Gimble sisters rolling around in the castle with her.
Suddenly, much to Obsidian's surprise, one of the Gimble sisters starts to mutate into a catlike, ninja, robot, thingy.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" laughs one of The Chameleon; Fuma Hanzo's mini clones as Obsidian suddenly screams in shock like a little girl.
Obsidian ran out of the bouncy castle in surprise, leaving the mini clone with the remaining Gimble sister and 2 others that soon joined them.
The creature returned to its normal form, mimicking the human persona of its main body, and took advantage of the situation like the opportunist it was.......
Dr Vermicious quickly traced the source of the evil sounds rocking his cave.
Tiny little Optimus Crime Mainstages.
The sound quality was quite superb, unlike the dross they were emitting. He decided to try an experiment. If the worms power was electromagnetic in origin, perhaps a sudden shock would act as a catalyst for a piezo-electric effect. Maybe if he fired one hard enough it would create an EMP. Let's see. He took aim at the nearest unit and pushed one of the worms hard while hanging in to it. Now.........LET GO! With a high pitched squeal the unit failed in a shower of sparks.
The other turned tail and ran like a toddlers nose. Dr Vermicious picked up the pieces and followed the other one back to the party and the main stage.
"Hey, Primo! This little bugger one of yours?" And threw it across the cave to Optimus. They both laughed as Optimus revived the unit and re-absorbed it into his bulk. It looked like there were still a few more guests to arrive so maybe it was wiser to hold back on the requests for now.
“Hey everybody! I’ve just put Stroh in the punch! Stroh 80 as well. Last one in is a Norm!”
That should do it.
Bob had just finished shaking off the weird encounter he had with one of the visitors when his communicators came alive.
"I'm not sure sir, some kind of robot?!"
"This is Unit 4, I'm the closest. ETA 2 minutes."
"Unit 4 do not engage the target, it would look very bad for Vordian Incorperated's PR if we attacked a Party guest." Find cover and hold position. Unit 2,find Pink and find out if this is indeed a guest. Units 7 8 and 9 put yourselves between the bouncy castle and the guests. Don't let anyone else on till we figure this out."
Bob was about to find someone to watch the door so he could get to the castle when a voice startled him.
"Ahem, perhaps WE could help?"
The cabal detachment had arrived. Three persons in armor similar to standard Night Guard armor stood there, except their's were covered in runic etchings and topped with heavy cloaks.
"Yes, unit 18 you head to the castle, unit 19 watch this door. Unit 20 head inside, watch the party.
"Of course Mr. Wallmack."
That's Sir to you."
Unit 20 turned around removing his helmet and throwing it to the ground.
"Is it now?"
His pale face and fanged grin captured Bob's full attention. Soon the glamour was complete.
"Good... now, where is this Pinekenstein?"
"Near the bouncy castle."
"Excellent now stay out of the way."
Unit 20 moved toward the castle.
"Wait... did that oaf say... Bouncy Castle?"
Outside Grendel Prime stood up and brushed himself off. What the hell was that, he wondered? A quick replay of his internal system monitor showed the old geezer that lived in the cave below the Penthouse making some sort of sonic attack on the younger LOA members before being run off by the others.
"Damn, getting hit I can deal with but that guy busted my bottle of Jack also" Grendel muttered to himself as he made his way back to the Penthouse to restock.
As he walked through the media room his step slowed and a grin slowly spread across his face. What was it Lion Heart
said a few months ago during the intro tour. "See that big speaker over there?" "Yes" I replied, reaching out to touch it.
"Stop, don't touch it, don't even look at it as a matter of fact!" After which they had quickly left the room.
So the good Doctor lived below and didn't like noise huh?
A few minutes later with the speaker successfully face down on the floor and cranked all the way to eleven, Grendel Prime grabbed a couple more bottles of Jack and headed down to the party. Grinning as the earsplitting chords of "Eat the Rich" by Motorhead began assaulting the good Doctors home.
Dr Vermicious spotted Grendel joining the party. Just to show there were no hard feelings he offered the boy a swig from his own stock of Stroh 80. Grendel went red then white then broke out in a cold sweat. Perhaps his vocal chords would work tomorrow. He eased his throat with a good swallow of the punch Dr Vermicious was holding out to him.
"Saw Motorhead back in '80. Saw some daft bastard blow his eardrums out by putting his head in a bass bin. Those were the days. I like GOOD loud music. Now if it was Sum 42 you might have a problem."
Finally Power Bottom was dressed and ready to go. He looked distant as if he was listening to something.
Lenny asked. "Something on your spy network?"
"Yes." PB repled, "We're beyond fashionably late. Phantom and Evolution just announced their engagement."
Lenny opened the N-space storage where they had stashed their duplicate wedding gifts. "Fondue pot?" he asked.
"Sure." He replied while scanning the gift to ensure the original card had been removed.
The two entered the Hedge maze, turned, and appeared in the Turbocave teleport safe room. A small digital timer clicked to life above the door. PB entered a code. Swiped an access card. Had a retina scan, And a DNA verification.
The door opened after having their Invitation verified by a Bob, the pair entered the party, Paid their respect to the couple and found cocktails, a Cape cod for PB a Vengerbeer for Lenny.
The pair split up to scout the party. PB returned to the bar for a refill. Lenny was doing his angry walk towards PB. When Lenny said the magic words "Honey can we talk." in the ice cold tones only a spouse could manage, the crowd around PB vanished.
"Dear, would you please refresh my memory as to what was on that list of things that couldn't possibly be brought together in the same place 'even with your luck and the reputation of parties hosted by Turbulence?'"
"Oh crap." said PB "We're still one saint short. Let's get out of here before.."
As they sprinted for the teleport safe room, a Turquoise glow began to surround Lenny. The other guests began to place bets.
The tech on the door decided to resist PB's attempts to open the door, as he muttered a mantra to calm himself. A mantra which to the uninitiated sounded like "Crap, crap, crap" repeated over and over, several times, redundantly.
Pink sprawled in a deckchair on the docks... an hour of jumping around on the bouncy castle had been fun but she was more than ready for the vengerbeers Obsy had found. She bit the top off the bottle, spat it out and took a long drink. X-Shadow and Corpsewake stretched out on the ground were still chuckling at the way Obsidian had managed to fall over onto *every* one of the Gimble sisters... and at the fact that of the last two on there one of those had been Optimus Crime... Fuma Hanzo up to his old tricks again...
"This is good" Pink sighed
"I know..." Obsidian blew a smoke ring. Apparently without bothering with a cigar first. Pink grinned. Obsidian's grin grew wider... three of the Gimble sisters had insisted she call them later... and none of those were shapechangers.
"We should hold wild parties more often..." Pink glanced over... the strippers seemed to have shown up and were moving through the Cave. Two of them came out onto the dock, saw the potential audience and began dancing slowly... Obsidian sat up and smiled happily.
Seeing her friend's attention was thoroughly held on the "dancers" and their interesting act, Pink got up and strolled inside heading for the bar. X-Shadow accompanied her.
"You were right," he said softly. "The bouncy castle was fun..." he chuckled. Pink grinned back.
One of the Vordain security guards with runes on his armor stopped them. "Ms Stein?"
"Yes?" Pink huffed. "I'm having a nice quiet talk with my friend here."
"We had reports of a disturbance featuring a robot on the bouncy castle?"
"So we are here to offer whatever assistance is needed to deal with the matter... First off we'd like to secure the bouncy castle..."
"What the hell?"
"For the safety of the guests ma'am."
"The robot IS a guest. He did no harm and the matter is sorted." Pink snapped....
"Very well ma'am. Please sign this electronic pad and I'll close the incident."
Pink scowled. Something about this guy was making her fantasize about a wooden stake and a bunch of garlic. If there was one thing she didn't like about NightHawk it was his close relationship with far too many vampires.
"Pink..." X-Shadow tapped her shoulder. "He's doing his job here tonight... and if I'm right you have the entire sprinkler system rigged with Holy Water?"
"So sign the pad and let him get on with his job."
"Fine.." Pink sighed heavily, took the electronic pen and scribbled something on the guy's pad. Saluting politely the security guard returned to the entrance to report back in with Bob. Pink and X-Shadow strolled more slowly back towards the bar.
Their route took them past the portal to the beach where Lucifer was holding court, laughing loudly as he carved a hog, flower garlands around his neck. Scowling Pink wondered where Private Avenger was.
"PA's not here... I bet he's not actually come out of his room" she muttered. "I'm gonna go get him... We'll see you in the bar. Get a round in?"
X-Shadow nodded and continued towards the bar. Pink grabbed a couple of Vengerbeers from a passing waiter, wondering who'd ordered waiters as she did so, and wandered down the corridor towards his room.
Private Avenger sat in his room at the end of the corridor. The noise from the rest of the Cave made it clear that Evolution's party was going on. He was doing his best to ignore it but the banging on his door was different.
"PA! PA! I know you're in there!!" Pink's voice. PA sighed. He wasn't in the mood for her bubbly enthusiasm right now.
A clicking noise alerted him to the fact that his lock was being picked. Growling, he stood up.
Pink swung the door open "PA! Oh!" Private Avenger stood right in front of the door, catching it in one hand.
"Yes. Pink." He spoke softly but she could hear the irritation in his voice.
"Party!" Pink waved one hand down the corridor and passed him a bottle. PA looked at it and handed it back.
"I don't drink." he said.
"OK. Well, Party! come on!" Pink half-turned then noticed he wasn't following.
"What?! There's a Turbulence party, it's going on now. We have strippers and doughnuts and a bouncy castle! Come. ON!" she stretched her hand out to him.
"No." PA shut the door.
Pink glanced up and down the corridor, necked a bottle of beer and put it down then hammered on his door again.
"Private Avenger get your ass out here now! There is a party going on and you're going!"
"NO" PA didn't bother opening his door. Thirty seconds later it burst apart, splinters flying everywhere. Pink's boot came through closely followed by the flame-headed fighter herself.
"I slipped." she remarked, totally unashamed. "Oh well, your room's a mess. You'd better come to the party."
PA looked furious. He was instinctively picking up the splinters of wood, placing them in his bin. "Get out." he hissed.
Pink looked at him for a moment then dropped to her knees and began picking up the splinters.
"I'm sorry. I went too far. I'll get you a new door from the store-room.... but I really do want you to come to the party. I'm supposed to be mentoring you into Turbulence and socialising with us is part of the deal...." she paused then threw in an extra thought. "It's like the army, you know? You fight better side by side with people if you spend time with them off-duty. Means you know them better, so you know how they'll react to a situation."
PA looked at her thoughtfully. "Are you going to give up?" he asked finally.
Pink grinned happily. "Nope." she ducked out into the corridor and returned a few minutes later with a new door.
PA stood up and brushed his trousers off. "Fine. I'll come."
Pink beamed, "you have GOT to try the bouncy castle out... come on, you'll love it. And X-Shadow's got a round in." She skipped down the corridor. Shrugging PA hung his new door on the hinges, locked it, then followed Pink towards the party.
Optimus Crime finds a giant red, white and blue bowl with a star in the middle, hidden in a room he's not supposed to be in.
He quickly runs to a spiral staircase and, while leaping into the giant bowl, he uses it to slide down the stairs, knocking other guests into the bowl with him as he sped down the stairs.
"Lenny!! Power Bottom!! Salut!" The plate-mail clad saint flung her arms around the newlyweds with an effusiveness friendliness which suggested she'd been at the party for a while.
"You have heard the good news, yes? My good friend Evolution and her beau are engaged!" The saint removed her helmet and passed it negligently to a passing guest. "I have brought them a fondue set! And now I am going to hustle for the right to perform the ceremony..." she paused
"Lenny, my friend, are you ok? you appear to glow like the fireflies... but greenish..."
Lenny winced. Power Bottom took his hand
"Joan, we were leaving..."
"OK, but my friends, if you see my sister, St Barbara, tell her where I am... she said she would meet me here..."
The centuries old saint kissed both on the cheeks and wove unsteadily towards Evolution and Phantom.
PB and Lenny exchanged alarmed looks.
A cold night breeze had sprung up, blowing in from the river and across the docklands. The falling temperature and noxious odors forced all the children of all ages back from the bouncy castle and into the Turbo Cave.
Bob stood at the door, glad of his hi-tech overcoat and sealed atmosphere-recycle. He smiled and nodded as everyone pushed back in, giggling and huddling a little for warmth. It was a roll-call of his heroes: Pink, Obsidian, X-Shadow, Corpsewake and a few Gimble sisters. He was sure he’d seen St Joan and Lucifer earlier, the sudden desire to confess his sins should have clued him in to that. And the new boy PA. Not too sure about him yet. Shows promise though, nice to have a young person with a bit of class around. Quiet. Thoughtful.
Walking quickly back into the main room they just caught the tail end of Dr Vermicious announcement. They rushed for the punch bowl and each downed a large slug of the almond smelling concoction.
“Wooooo! That hit the spot! Most impressive. More like a Gluhwein than a punch but I ain't complaining. Must get the recipe!” Obsidian sounded impressed, even if she was a little unsure of the exact order the words should go. The sudden gaggle of people crowded round the punch bowl had caused interest throughout the crowd and there was suddenly a queue of hardened drinkers vying for a place. It helped that the punch bowl had seen former duty as a ship’s boiler so everyone got their glasses filled in short order. Dr Vermicious leaped onto the top of the nearest speaker stack and tapped his glass for attention.
“While all of your glasses are charged may I propose a toast? To Evo and Phantom: May your journey together be interesting and may your happiness be your strength. Evo and Phantom!” To the accompaniment of wild cheers glasses were emptied and demands for Phantom to make another speech were yelled at the unfortunate hero.
“Phantom... Phantom... Phantom…. Phantom! Speeeeeech!”
“Okay, Okay! My lady and I would just like to thank you all for being here to help us celebrate our betrothal. I’d like to thank her Dad for letting me see the way to put the rock in the right place and to thank her for all she has done for me. I love you. Slainte!”
And more punch was consumed. Dr Vermicious realized the time would never be better and shouted across the room to Optimus for the request to be played. As the first strains of Monsters was heard everyone stopped and looked around. The first to feel the effect were the Gimble sisters, never slow to party they were the first to succumb to the effects of Dr Vermicious' special punch. It was as if you could see the restraints falling away, the most interesting bit was Lenny. Going down under a torrent of bodies his voice echoing round the room as he shouted “I told you so!” The same had happened to Chad Rockwell except he had been hit by a gaggle of Gimbles. A gagging for it gaggle of Gimbles. “Ladies please, can we have some decorum, please, an orderly queue if you don’t mind!”
Felix Pigg looked bemused by the goings on but was soon into the swing of things as a strong pair of arms grabbed him from behind. “Felix, I really love you.” The gruff baritone of Borogrove Gimble III breathed into his ear. Felix panicked a bit and slid out from his partner’s grasp just as Celsius walked up and grabbed BG3, kissing him soundly and scorching his pants off. This left Felix free to find his Wahay and drag her off Chad. “Come on we’re leaving. It’s all that fancy drink. Beer. That’s the stuff.”
One event that had eluded most, but not Doctor Vermicious, was Danny’s reaction. He jumped over the bar and slithered through the crowd to stand in front of Pink. “Hi gorgeous. Want your stockings filled?” “Danny, I don’t know what you mean!”, and Dr Vermicious could have sworn he heard her giggle and watched in astonishment as she blushed and fluttered her eyelashes.”Come on, you know you’re on the naughty list...want to make it to nice?”, and he kissed her. Long and deep. The way he had always wanted to kiss her, every time she came into the bar.
The music stopped and everyone froze, looking at who they were with, remembering what they had done. Thankful the song was over and only lasted 4 minutes 4 seconds. Danny though wished it had been the ten inch vinyl extended version. He stood staring into Pink’s eyes and she into his.
Dr Vermicious watched with barely concealed glee. Time to leave before anyone figured out what the f*&k had just happened.
Grendel Prime spotted PB and Lenny looking worried about something. After whatever it was that Dr. Vermicious had given him to drink, he wasn't feeling any pain.
Stumbling over he said,"Hey PB, you up for a little magic trick?"
PB runs into Optimus Crime on the stairs near the bouncy Castle along with several of the Gimble sisters.
Surprised, he asks him, "I didn't know you were straight. I thought you and Doc had something going."
"Of course I'm straight." replied Optimus. "I LOVE women! Doc and I just have a bromance."
"A bromance! You know!"
Suddenly Optimus broke out into song, accompanied by several of his clones.
"Surprised to see you here instead of at a nightclub."
Hey Dr. Vermicious," Grendel Prime shouted as he saw the shiny silver being about to scoot out the door. "How bout a rematch from earlier?"
Two minutes later Grendel lay on his back musing how the roof of the cave sure was pretty with all those stars floating around. He also gleefully noticed as he rolled to his side that several patches of Dr. Vermicious worms a hadn't rejoined the rest as of yet.
A quick glance showed him PB standing at the side waiting.
Pink looked at Danny for about thirty seconds then swung a punch. The barman went down unconscious before he hit the floor. Pink looked at him and her eyes narrowed...
"If I find out what just happened, I will kill the person who made it happen." she announced to the room at large. Then she picked up Danny, dropped him behind a sofa and went to take his place at the bar.
Grendel Prime staggered to his feet clutching the crumpled piece of paper PB had slipped him. "Izchasst frazzle domino" he slurred, between the blows to the head and the drinks his vision wasn't the best at the moment.
With a huge clap of thunder six huge ostriches appeared and began devouring worms without hesitation. Grendel Prime sneaked back to the bar, waiting for the fireworks, as it were, to begin. Dr Vermicious simply leaned against the wall with a knowing grin on his face.
The ostriches finished eating the worms, then began running around with wild abandon. The birds suddenly began exploding, turning into huge bursts of confetti and sparkles. Grendel Prime looked on in amazement, not exactly what he had in mind when he envisioned ostriches eating electrified worms.
Except for the last one which ran directly at him and exploded in a shower of electric worm guts and ostrich poo. Dragon's Fury walked up to him, not too close though, and said "Can't win em all, man."
Grendel Prime winced, turned to the bar where Pink at least put her hand over her mouth instead of laughing at him directly. "I need a drink. Sigh, it's times like this that I'm glad I got my liver swapped out with that cybernetic toxin purifier."
Chad was not at all used to all the commotion and chaos of having several members of the female genetics breed climbing all over him. His mind and emotions were totally confused and unseen to all but the other magic users a strange light was beginning to glow all over his clothing coming from his crystal. Sensing that a very amused Dr. Vermicious was enjoying the show, he snapped as he finally lost his temper. "ENOUGH!" His voice momentarily blasted everyone several feet who had been fighting and tussling around him while he lay on the floor. "I have allowed myself to have fun, but even I have my personal limits, in terms of bullies taking advantage of my good work. That all ends, here and now." As he spoke, those watching could see something very strange going on. Chad appeared to be a huge blur as his bloodcurse took effect for the very first time since joining Superhero City.
This is a simple explanation hopefully enough that no one has to ask questions later. Many decades ago Chad and his siblings were inheritors of a bloodcurse cast upon their father by a crazed evil magician who was actually demoness named Alexis. Since then they have had to undergo incredibly intense magical mental emotional and physical training to keep from destroying everyone and everything around for thousands of miles around Ice Ray Academy. Needless to say this caused major problems in their education and life growing up so it was suggested and agreed upon that only in very chaotic times should this extremely hazardous ability be used for good only.
Now back to the present: The blurring slowly faded and in place of the former Chad Rockwell stood a seven foot tall demonic balor made of blazing flames and holding a huge whip of Abyssal fire.
"Chad is still here but my name until further notice is Errtu the Balor!
"Now, then..." Errtu said in a very deep tone of voice as he surveyed those all around him in the cave. "...I think Dr. Vermicious should explain just why he thought it would be very funny to make me look bad here tonight." Glaring at the good doctor as his grin slowly turned to a look of frightful recognition of upcoming agony and suffering, he added "Because I am going to enjoy making you personally pay for every single time you have ruined my plans."
"Chad's having an allergic reaction to the bean dip! Someone get a medic!"
Power Bottom thrust a spell he had scrawled down on a cocktail napkin at Grendel Prime and rushed back to Lenny.
The door had finally opened.
It was too late. St Barbara had arrived. The turquoise glow surrounding Lenny spread to every bottle, flask, barrel and bowl and glass.
As Errtu began manifesting every intoxicating beverage at the party began to overflow its container.
Lucifer feels a wave of lust emanating from the Cave. He has not felt anything this strong since the days of the Roman orgies. He tosses back his drink (a Virgin Mary made with real virgin blood) gives the young bikini clad beauty sitting on his lap a little tweak, and enjoys the wave of lust washing over him. It ends all too soon, hmm magic and chemically induced.
“Who is this trickster?” Lucifer demands. With but a thought Dr Vermicious appears before him.
“On Your Knees, Worm!” Lucifer commands. “Bow before the Dark Prince!”
As Lucifer says this two demon elite guards appears on either side of Vermicious forcing him prone on the ground.
“Just because I choose to have my own area to party in, do not assume that your antics have gone unnoticed by me. You are now interfering with an engagement party of a very dear and old friend of mine. YOU WILL cease your pranks or suffer the consequences. I give you this choice, for in truth, I did so much enjoy that last prank.”
So enjoy the party, hide in the walls of this mountain, or spend eternity in a bottle of Tequila.
“BE GONE” with that Dr Vermicious finds himself laying in the middle of the dance floor of the Turbo-cave.
PA reluctantly makes his way down to the party. Upon his arrival he is met with the sight of what only can be described as the beginning of an orgy. He adjusts his vision and homes in on Pink’s aurora. Walking toward her he discern how she is in the midst of a passionate embrace.
"HARRUMPH" he growls turning and walking away. Arriving back in his room he puts on his worn armor and goes out on patrol.
Black Knight and company had drunk from the punch bowl that Dr. Vermicious had spiked. We found ourselves with persons we would not normally associate ourselves with in that manner. When I came to myself, I quickly scanned the room telepathically to find out who had spiked the punch. It was Dr. Vermicious. So I sent him this warning, telepathically:
"You spiked the punch! Shame on you! Now feel the anger you have inflicted upon us by your little prank!"
And with that, Dr. Vermicious doubled over in extreme pain.
"Naughty Dr. Vermicious! You should have known better!"
Black Knight casts a spell to remove the crap that Dr. Vermicious put into the punch bowl.
"You can now drink freely from the punch bowl! I have removed Dr. Vermicious' little prank from the contents", said Black Knight in a very loud voice.
Unit Twenty had been watching Pink all night. He was considering what to do about the sprinklers now that the threat of the punch was handled. He caught her eye...then when she looked again he hid in a crowd. He loved the mind games as he made her doubt herself. Perhaps he could put a magic field around each sprinkler.
Since his magic was separate from his vampirism it might work. He could lure her into an empty room then he'd only have to field the ceiling. He wished some of the other Night Guard were vampires, he could use the backup. But the empire had stated to keep this secret from them anyway. At least he could use them to stall anyone else from interfering.
They wouldn't be able to do it forever but hopefully it would be enough. Between the Holy Rain and her constant den hunting she had become a major threat and there would be more if unit Twenty failed.
Bob was glad his suit had protected him from the glamour attempt. He had been following unit Twenty in the suit's stealth mode. The rest of the Night Guard was already in alert including the other Cabalist, apparently they had no clue what the vampire was up to. Now Bob just needed for him to make his move.
"Sir... we may have a problem, we're sensing a huge magic wave spreading over the whole party."
Cap placed his empty champagne glass on the bar. It would be quickly picked up by the staff. He wanted to find Jarvis...now that he had fulfilled his duty by showing up at the party, it was time to go out on patrol.
As Cap scanned the room, he thought he detected the faint smell of....brimstone? What the hell?
Sin? Here? Cap searched through the crowd...but saw no sign of Sin.
Taking one last look through the room, he saw Celsius emerge from one of the "secret" corridors peppering the Turbo-Cave's walls. Secret? Cap chuckled at that notion. He knew every corner of the facility. Every nook and cranny. It was his job to know.
With no evidence of Sin, Cap resumed his search for Jarvis and George. He walked by the kitchen entry...and heard a sizzling noise.
Once again, the Vengershield was being used as a wok, cooking up a delicious-smelling Asian delight. Cap decided it was time to end the charade. He reached behind, and working his hand under his cape, he produced another Vengershield.
The real Vengershield.
Knowing the penchant of his teammates for pranks and jokes, Cap had crafted a nearly perfect copy of the Vengershield...and allowed it to be snatched time and again for use as a cooking implement. His teammates had failed to realize an important fact.
The Vengershield was a special combination of adamantium, titanium, uru and vibranium metals. It was designed to absorb and deflect energy. That included heat energy. It was impossible to use the Vengershield as a frying pan. It would absorb and deflect the heat directed at it. That's why the disc didn't get hot when it was subjected to attack. And how Cap was able to survive bomb blasts and death rays while protected behind it.
Cap smiled. The prank had worked perfectly. "And they say I don't have a sense of humor," Cap thought to himself. Deciding there was no benefit in revealing the hoax, Cap placed the real Vengershield in its harness on his back and continued looking for Jarvis.
It was time to leave.
One of the mini clones gets a hold of a worm from Lucifer and puts it into a sealed container. It quickly rushes over to Doc Zwiggles and hands him the container.
"Doc. Fuma wants you to put this away for replication later. This'll be the next big thing on the streets! X will be completely forgotten once we get this out! Dang party poopers ruined everything and made them go away, but I got one!"
"How'd you do that?" asked Doc.
"I got it from Lucifer. He and the boss go waaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back, 'cept Lucy fell from Heaven 1st and went a bit farther than just the surface of Earth." replied the mini clone.
"With this, we'll have a lock on the hippy's wallets!" A smile crossed his face.
After making his delivery, the mini clone re-joined several other mini clones on the dance floor.
“Oh FUCK!” Was Dr Vermicious first thought as he bounced up from the dance floor, “THE WORMS!” He sent out the telepathic command he usually used to regroup the wee buggers. One thousand and seventy-nine missing. Not too bad. He gave it five minutes. Two missing. He sent out a second call to the Watchers in his AV network. There was one in Lucifer’s tequila bottle and a happy little wormy it was too. I can recover that later. Oh now, this is worrying. Zwiggy had the other. Fair enough. Using the worm Dr Vermicious had a quick check of the container Zwiggy was holding the worm in. Transparent adamantium with some kind of anti-egress ward. This could be tricky. I’ll need to ponder this one.
But what the Hell’s that smell? The noise? Ooh look, it’s Chad. About time. So the bloodcurse IS magical in nature and vampiric in application. That makes it a bit easier. Dr Vermicious cast his mind back to his time with Ethel and Mabel, the Francine twins. Nope, no cure. But if I….and then….and finally…. There we go. Chad’s Errtu form shrunk back to normal size and slowly lost it’s demonic appearance. Leaving Chad standing on the dance floor in a rather large pair of baggy pants. Looking at the crowd behind him, he would thank me later. Even his inner demon’s strength couldn't have saved him from the Royal beat down they had planned. No-one would dare hit him now. It would be like punting a puppy with large sad brown eyes. He was so damned cute in his big pants. Dr V sent out a pulse only Chad would hear. “We need to talk. Give yourself some clothes. Go have a rest, I’ll see you later. Here.” Dr Vermicious handed Chad his Staff and returned to sorting things through.
And what had Black Knight been rambling on about? Surely even a natural sorcerer like himself would know when a hex had run it’s course? Never mind, let him have his moment. It’s not often he get’s to stretch his supernatural muscle and use his considerable power. I like him. Earnest, well meaning. Unusual in a Lycan, they are usually driven by more base instincts, pack instincts: Family. I need to know more.
The encounter with Lucifer had been….interesting. Close contact enabled Dr Vermicious to find out much about people, no matter what form those people might be. I hope Lucifer never finds out where his power comes from, nor how close that brings us to being brothers. To find out that would probably fracture his mind. Best keep quiet for now. Perhaps in the future? It could be of use, and amusing. Still, current matters. He sends a worm off to join it’s twin that Doc Zwiggle is holding. A simple instruction; monitor and release. Let’s see how that pans out.
OK ...phew ..for a second there everyone went all like me when I've seen a particularly impressively sized ...wallet.
The bouncy castle had been fun and Obsy had been about as subtle as me with a millionaire.
I didn't mind, my background check on her revealed adequate funds to make me happy.
But I was not that happy that Ditzy and Nimble had made sure she had their mobile numbers ..that would have to be fixed.
Borogove wandered over looking a little shocked and singed.
"Sis ..I just told Felix I loved him and then this big fiery dude kissed me."
"Was he rich?"
"Then don't kiss him again!" The family always came to me for advice as the eldest.
"But what about Felix?"
"Easy BThree ..that’s bromances ..blame it on beer - it always works for me. Like, if i wake up and realize that it is just three standard credit cards they have, not gold or platinum ..I just make my excuses and blame it on the champagne."
"Erm... ok… I guess that makes sense."
"Look B ..by the time you go back to work in that Mall, he will have forgotten anyway."
"Let’s hope so."
I moved away from him as he sought out a cooling drink to reduce his blistering.
Wahay was in a corner arguing with Felix ..two birds, one stone and all that stuff ..or as I refer to it ..half the effort, twice the reward!
"Wahay stop crying and ..hang on ..have this menthol, cry some more and look your normal self will you! Felix ...shut up! You don’t own her ..shhh ..don't try and argue ... until you can afford her... YOU DON'T OWN HER! She had a few drinks and fell on some guy ..it happens. Trust me it happens."
"No but's, young man! Get her some more absinthe, another menthol and for god’s sake go and say something to Borogove... he is stood with his face in the non-alcoholic punch bowl all by himself... if you are going to bring him to parties like this, you need to take responsibility. We told you he had a sheltered upbringing! And if you can get him hooked up with one of those strippers it may help you out a lot in the long term. Looking at them shouldn't cost you more than two hundred dollars."
I left him with a thinking look on his face.
"Ditzy! Nimble! Stop giggling in the corner ..get here ..mobiles out ..NOW!"
Deleting contacts ..'Obsy' ... oh screw it ..'delete all' - a lesson learnt!
I took two glasses of champagne off a passing waiter ..I assumed he was a waiter, no guest should be dressed like that!
"Obsy! Hun... looks like you need another drink!"
Errtu the Balor will not be rping for awhile due to mental and emotional trauma to his psyche because of what happened here. Any who feel they are brave enough to have him institutionalized well enough that he will no longer be a threat to himself or others during this application of the Bloodcurse are free to do so. He will not fight back even if Turbulence decides to give him an all member old fashioned beatdown.
"BThree!!! Mate!!!" I tapped my partner on his shoulder... OK he tried to kiss me, bit awkward, but end of the day we're friends and partners in MALL COPS... "Come on, snap out of it..."
He stopped sniffing "OK, Mr Felix, Sir..."
I ruffled his hair "We're ok... don't worry about it, magic does funny things... Now... much as I would like to tackle the miscreant who made this mess, happen I want you to take a good look over there at that guy..."
Borogrove looked where I was pointing... "the stunned looking fellow?"
"Him. We need to take him into custody now... For his own safety, and for the safety of the people in this room."
"But... but..." My friend was still in shock.
"BThree... focus... there are no members of the regular force here..." well there was Phantom but I didn't want to blow his cover if I didn't have to. "WE are the LAW here BThree... It's up to us to rise to the occasion..."
As I looked at him I saw the light come back into his face. He straightened up, squared his shoulders and nodded. It was all the confirmation I needed. Together we walked across the room.
"Errtu the Balrog?" the magic-user nodded.
"I want to ask you to accompany me to the station please? We can arrange custody and care for you."
Errtu nodded and held out his hands.
"No need for cuffs, mate. We'll just take you down to the station on your own recognizance if you can promise me you'll come quietly.
Gently, BThree and I led Errtu out of the Turbo-Cave and away to the Mall Cops Headquarters. Behind me I could hear Wahay putting the call into the duty psychiatrist. Good girl.
Doc Zwiggle went to where he had stashed the sealed test tube that contained the worm. He had left it in Ziggy's purse because he knew few if any would mess with Ziggy's purse. There, on the vial was another worm trying to open the top to no avail.
"Hmm. You're girlfriend came to save you Mr. Wiggles! No worries! I'll reunite you two lovebirds."
With that, Doc popped the top and dropped the 2nd worm in with the first.
Ziggy came up to see what Doc was doing with his purse.
"Look Ziggy!" He lifted the vial to show him, "I think they're making babies! Holy crap! What was that? Did it just poop a baby out? There's another! And another! These things are worse'n rabbits! Oh man, the jar is filling up quick! What do we do?"
"I have an idea." exclaimed Ziggy as he grabbed the container and worms from Doc and headed out to the Wakpah River that meandered around the mountain. The river had been named by Hopi Indians after a river.
**Crossover with Fistful of Buckys**
"Cap, I know you work alone. I know it's been years since you had a partner. But I think I can be a valuable member of your team. I want to be Bucky."
King Louie paused--waiting for a response. He studied himself in the mirror.
Did he look serious enough? Would Cap say yes?
"I'll need to work on that approach again," Louie said to himself. " I don't want to scare him off. Maybe I should bring him a gift? Shield wax? Boot anti-scuffing spray?"
King Louie sighed and flopped down on his bed. Underneath his pillow he pulled out his well worn scrapbook.
A white light--blinding and a disembodied voice....."King Louie....."
King Louie was confused--was this the Zigonians returning?
In front of him in a flash stood the most majestic figure he had ever seen. It was odd but the figure's mouth didn't move. The words were inside his head.
"I bring unto you the word of the Lord," said the angel without moving its lips.
"There is great peril to Captain Avenger, if he falls your world may be lost. It has been tasked unto you to stay at his side in this time of need and save him from that which is to come."
"In peril? From what?" King Louie asked. But the angel was disappearing and he found himself alone and with more questions.
An invitation slid under his door. Curious, he opened it to find the distinct cursive of Evolution's writing.
"A party eh? Maybe this one will go better for me than the last one."
The music was bumping hard. The soft "tssst tssst tssst"of a cymbal running along with suits gyrating and milling about getting their fill from the bar.
King Louie had picked up some O'Douls--he wasn't much of a drinker but he thought the name sounded Irish and Irish people know their beer right?
He also had a dozen varieties of that deep fried dough that Sin liked so much from that place called Dunkin' Donuts. Lucifer had assured him that Sin liked soy sauce and ketchup on his confections, so he had made sure to stock up on those condiments.
King Louie was looking forward to meeting some new people in the community. He had heard The Awesome One could not make it which was a shame because now the party could not be as Awesome as everyone had hoped.
A glint of metal caught his eye. Over in a corner he saw Captain Avenger with a small crowd of young heroes around him. Cap was moving his shield in a defensive pattern, regaling his young audience with one of his adventures. Or...more likely teaching moves that may help them in a future battle.
"He does command an audience doesn't he?"
King Louie jumped back startled.
"I'm sorry Master Louie," said Jarvis. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
"You didn't frighten me, I mean, it's okay Jarvis."
"It's easy to see why you are so enamored of my employer," Jarvis smiled.
"I-I'm not enamored--I mean--I like girls--Not that there's anything wrong with that...but...uhh...ummm...."
"Oh I didn't mean THAT sir, I just meant I have noticed that you have taken a more than passing interest in the Captain."
King Louie slumped. " Is it THAT obvious?"
"Only to those of us who have eyes, Master Louie," Jarvis smiled. "But you have nothing to fear here. Your secret is safe with me."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the conversation. Louie didn't know what to say. Here he was, with Captain Avenger's closest confidant. He took a deep breath...and decided to take the plunge....
"I want to be the new Bucky," Louie blurted out.
Jarvis's demeanor changed immediately. Gone was the visage of friendly conversation. In its place was the hard edge of a man who had seen war and death and destruction. A man...who with no extraordinary powers and abilities of his own...had gained the trust and friendship of more than one of Superhero City's metahumans...and stood beside them to save the universe.
Jarvis' eyes narrowed. His lips grew thin as much of the color drained from his face.
"I'm afraid that's impossible, sir," Jarvis said, his voice chilled...the words...clipped. "Master Bucky is...dead. The Captain works alone. Enjoy the rest of your evening."
Jarvis turned on his heel...and was gone.
That Sinking Feeling
"Ok. So the food was poisoned and the punch bowl was spiked, what next?" said Black Knight
"Why don't we go over to the bouncy castle and have some fun?" said Wolf's Bane.
"Sounds like a good idea" said Black Knight. Everyone agreed.
Everyone was having fun in the bouncy castle when all of a sudden, Black Knight feels a rush of air coming from the spot he'd just landed on as well as the unmistakable sound of escaping air. "Oh crap! Did I just puncture a hole in it?!" said Black Knight as the thing begins to deflate at an alarming rate. "My that's a big hole!" said Spike.
"But I thought that I had removed everything that could puncture it" he said in dismay. Then, Black Knight reaches into his bag and pulls out some duct tape. "Instant bouncy castle repair kit!" he exclaims as he begins repairing the hole he'd caused.
"But that won’t hold forever" said Awesome George.
"It will when I get done with" said Black Knight. And when he was done, he put his hand on the tape and it became like the rest of the castle. The hole was repaired and looked just as though nothing had happened.
"What did you do?" asked Dark Wolf.
"I just used my superpowers to transmute the material in the tape into the material of the bouncy castle" Black Knight said matter-of-factually.
The amount of alcohol ingested was at extraordinary level. Any more and perhaps they wouldn't have seen the energy starting to form in the room. Suddenly there was a screech and Tyrana was standing there.
She was confused, and disorientated but recognized some of the faces staring back at her. Some still didn't her at all, with all that had happened tonight this seemed small. But Pink recognized Tyrana and moved towards her. Obsidian followed her friend out of curiosity as to who is attractive young lady was.
For the second time this night, reality split again and two black armored figures appeared. They honed in on Tyrana immediately.
"It's coming from her.""Wheres NightHawk?!"
The others in the room gathered, unsure of these men. Pink recognized them as night guard which was confirmed by the few couscous Night Guard posted at the party saluting the two men.
"Tyrana, you aura is marked with Salazar's. We need you to come with us so we can run tests and figure out what you did with him."
"What I did? How about what he did to me? Look I'm not going with you, I need to figure this out."
At that two more men ported in. There were now four of the Nine and six NightGuard circling Tyrana.
Pink mouthed the words, Back Off.
Bob walked in from the other room, he saw the Nine and Saluted. He tossed the open bottle of Smirnoff and closed the visor. He didn't want them seeing him this drunk.
Number 4 was relieved to see the heavy armor stroll into the room, he knew what the P Three-TenX could do.
"I would never disobey you, but we're in no condition to fight the power level in this room. Why don't we bring the equipment here...."
The statement that would've gotten Bob fired was interrupted by Alarms going off in his suit."
"We've got a situation one seventy six, incoming in ten...nine......"
Tyrana was sensing the same thing and so were the Nine.
"Protect her and bring in the vamps, we're gonna need them based on the size of this portal."
A Change in Music
"Ok, this is supposed to be a party!! Let's have some dance music!" said Black Knight, who had been drinking a number of rounds from the punch bowl (it had booze in it, so he was quite drunk by this time). So he telepathically took over the mind of the DJ playing the music for a brief time before passing out.
"And this one is for Turbulence, who hosted the party!" he shouted.
And then he passed out.
Many months later Robin D. Hood, a highwayman of many names and many faces, was walking next to the Wak Pah River that runs into and under the Turbo Cave. He was carrying a large black trash bag with him. It had been months since everyone passed out at the party. Most instantly transported upon waking to a cosmic conflict that called all the Earth's heroes and even a few villains to the fray, when a Zigonian warship attacked Earth at the start of the last League War.
He laughed to himself, remembering how Pink had told him the name of the river was the Wak Pah River. Wak Pah was the Hopi Indian word for "river". So essentially the Turbo river was called "River River".
Trash still littered the grounds and it was going to take a lot of cleaning up. As he started to pick up random pieces of trash and disposed of them in the bag, he was suddenly caught unaware.
"Hiyaa! Take that, you used to be Ninja Lord!" he heard Pink yell as she plunged a katana deep through his back and out his chest.
"OWWWWWWWW!" Yelled Robin. "What the hell Pink?!!?"
"HA HA! Got you!" she replied. "What did you think you were doing sneaking around the Turbo Cave!"
"I came back after the war to help clean up from the party! Why the hell did you stab me?!!?" He yelled at her.
"Oh quit being such a baby!" She chastised "It's not like you can't heal yourself. Pfft!"
Pink went into thespian mode, mocking Robin as she did, "I'm the great Fuma Hanzo! I have the Amulet of the Legion! I can control every molecule of my body! Nothing can kill me! I'm still crying like a little bitch over a flesh wound. Wha! Wha! Wha!"
"Flesh wound? You stabbed me with a sword from my back through my chest! That's a bit more than a flesh wound! Why on Earth did you think it'd be ok to stab me?!!?" he cried back.
"Oh c'mon! Stop being a whiny baby! It's not like it'll kill you or anything!" reprimanded Pink.
"IT STILL HURTS BITCH!" yelled Robin.
"Awwwww. Wait right here and I'll get you a band aid from the Turbo medicine cabinet."
As Pink walked back to the Turbo Cave laughing, Robin sat there, a sword blade sticking out of his chest, wondering if Pink was actually coming back or just leaving him there to bleed.
"You better come back! I can't get this sword out by myself Pink." he cried.
"Yeah, yeah." she said as she nonchalantly waved off his remarks and disappeared into the Turbo Cave.
"Pink? Pink? You are coming back right?"
As he sits there, several hours later, a sword still stuck through his back and chest, Robin looks towards the Turbo Cave and flicks it off with his middle finger.
"Bitch. It's been like half a damn day. How long does it take to find a band-aid? ..............
Pink? Pink, I think you stuck it through my spine Pink. I can't feel or move my legs........
Pink? Pink? I hate you Pink. You know that?
Someone? Anyone? Help...... Please?"
Robin couldn't help but wish he had bought that little Voodoo doll he saw at the convenience store before coming over to help Turbulence clean up their grounds. He had thought it would make a good mascot. He sure could use one now.
Momentarily the scent of brimstone fills the air as the real Errtu the Traitorous Balor appears on the scene temporarily. "You have a very determined patron somewhere who will not take no for an answer," he growls angrily at "Robin". "Hold on a second this could be rather painful." Grinning maliciously, he unleashes a tiny amount of hellfire from his demonic self just enough to cauterize his wounds. "When next we meet, simply remember that as my name implies I am liable to switch from ally to enemy at any given time. Now I must return to Super Villain City to continue with the aid of Zerocurew the Dracolich to stop the ongoing continuous riots that have been going on since the last recorded event in "Path to Power 2. So far we have not yet encountered any of the Lords of Sin but they are a deceitful lot of conniving fiends who for all I know be attacking a different location that above all others must be kept as secret as the TurboCave my magical clone was at for the party a few months earlier. Now I must return."
With that he was about to return to where he had been but the TurboCave security had been activated and within a few minutes the Super Cops had him fully surrounded. Knowing his clone had by now returned to the magical essence from which it had been formed and extremely certain that very few of those in SHC knew of the ongoing threat to it from the "Nemesis" Star, he decided it was the better part of prudence for now simply to surrender rather than to leave a lot of angry law officials suing him for medical damages.
Pink wandered through a few hours later, coffee cup in hand.
"Oh hi Robin... what are you doing here?"
"You fecking stabbed me remember? With this sword?"
"You're not still going on about that are you?" Pink huffed.
"YOU STABBED ME WITH A SWORD AND SEVERED MY SPINAL COLUMN!! YES I'M STILL GOING ON ABOUT IT!! What happened to that plaster you were getting me anyway?"
"Oh was that what I went into the kitchen for? I'd forgotten. I got distracted by the food.... and the coffee... want some coffee? You don't seem to be bleeding anymore by the way..."
"Errtu cauterized the wound... but he left before I could get him to pull the sword out."
Pink looked puzzled. "You're a shapeshifter... why didn't you just rearrange your molecules so they were outside the sword?"
"Ohhhhh...." Robin D Hood winced "Never thought of that."
"Ok. Well... come get some coffee in the kitchen when you're done there." Pink shrugged and walked away again.
As the Super Cops cautiously took Errtu away to a specialized cell inside one of their top secret holding facilities, he patiently awaited to see who would dare come to question him. Soon enough one of the psychoanalysts came into his cell. "Hmm you always seem to have a knack for requiring my appearance when dealing with these technology reliant mortals," the shrink says with a smirk on his face. "Jace you scoundrel! I thought you were going to lie low after what Dr Vermicious and Bob put you through?"
The infamous planeswalker laughs at such a low underestimation of his abilities. "Really Errtu you should know me far better than that by now. After all if not for my help, neither you or your other rping characters including myself would have even traveled from the twentieth century Earth to the postmodern thirtieth century futuristic world of Superhero City via way of the transdimensional magical gateway powered by my magic, the Abyss and the power of Lloth herself. It is because of that very gateway that I am here."
"Yes, I remember how me and my other cloned siblings were awakened long ago," Errtu says in Chad's voice slowly. "Not only were you freed when The Abyss came to the human world, but the drow were unleashed as well. However that will have to wait another time to be discussed. What about the gateway is so important right now Jace?"
"The Lords of Sin have discovered its existence, Errtu," Jace said simply. "At first they thought The Abyss was merely a side-effect of their own nefarious powers going haywire when they fought the Foundry a few months earlier. However when the Nemesis Star's light caused your current bloodcurse form to activate and caused the supervillains and demons to go crazy with feelings of conquest, it affected the gateway much differently. Now it is draining LLoth of her powers and the Drow have grown rebellious. Jaden and Jayariel Drillowup have had to forge an alliance to keep the populace of Mezzoberranzen from tearing itself to shreds since the magic hit the city. It will be soon required that the Superheroes of this city learn of the existence of Mezzoberranzen and the Abyss for I sense many great innovators and thinkers alike who possibly could find a way to reverse this drastic change. But you have very little time indeed. When the year two thousand and twelve ends, the gateway will be sealed off permanently and all travel back and forth between the past and present timestreams via magic will be halted for human, drow and demons alike. You will have too meet with the leaders of the most powerful groups of heroes and villains in this city. Tell them however you are able to but do not allow any to know the Bloodstone Foundry is the key to removing the Gateway from this dimension. Otherwise Sin will not be able to use it to gain his ultimate form."
Black Knight woke from his drunken stupor a few months ago. Since the party at the Tubo Cave, he's been made aware of several events since then that have taken place since the party. One, the Sin Remnant and Molterion, and two, what happened after the party and offers his magic and his powers to help with Mezzoberranzen and the little problem going on there.